fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2066 ]

[ SECRET POST #2066 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2066 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...who live with their parents?

Just curious.

Yes, a little bit, even though I still lived with mine until I went to college for the second time (age 27).

Well, I'm 24 and still live with my parents so I kind of...can't.

But no, not necessarily. There's all sorts of reasons someone would live with their parents, and it's not necessarily even financial--could also be cultural or so they can take care of their aging parents, for instance. I think the only time I'd really judge someone for it is if it seemed like they were taking advantage of their parents. (For example, my sister-in-law's uncle is a millionaire and owns a mansion elsewhere in the state, but he lives with his elderly mother because he doesn't want to cook or do laundry or other housework stuff. HIM I judge, I'll admit.)

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-30 13:08 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

brightblueink - 2012-08-30 14:54 (UTC) - Expand

I live with my parents for various reasons (college, closer to resources, my old house fell apart). There's plenty of other reasons I can judge people. Living with parents isn't even on my list.

No.
Adults can have many reasons to live with their parents: they don't have a job yet, they can't afford to live on their own, they want to because of their parents' health, they want to and contribute to the family's expenses.
I would side-eye someone who just mooches off their parents and generally acts like an ungrateful, selfish 30 year-old brat though. But I don't judge if I don't know.

Not if they have a legitimate reason for living with their parents. If they are of sound mind and body and are not attempting to find a proper job but instead are mooching off of their parents? Then yes, I judge them. Otherwise, nope. Although I do think it is appropriate for people to move out at least for a while eventually.

It depends. If they're just mooching, then I do. If they are in school or having legitimate financial difficulty (and not the "I spent my paycheque on a Playstation and can't afford rent" kind, or the "I'm fully abled and not even trying to find a job" kind) or living with their parents is helping out the parents, then no.

I do, actually. Though it's like a separate flat in the same house.

well i'm 23 and still live with my mother, and i would hope nobody would judge me - especially automatically. given my situation i find it a lot easier to not judge other people on this either.

i am dirt poor, i have maybe $230 to my name, and i'm a full-time student in university. i apply time after time for dozens of scholarships and have never won a single one (but that's to be expected imo since a lot of people apply). with fafsa and pell grants i'm still short half my tuition each year and this year our funds have completely run out so i can't pay for school anymore. i'll be lucky if i don't get kicked out before the military contracts me lol. :[

so yeah, of course i live with my parents. i'm still considered a dependent, even. it makes financial sense for both my mother and myself this way, so i don't know why anybody would judge me - and the countless others in similar situations - when it's clearly a smart move.

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-29 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

No. People could have a lot of legit reasons for it. Besides, what's really the point of judging any normal person? Are they someone running for office anywhere? Does their living with their parents have any other immediate bearing on you? No? What's the point, then?

Maybe I would if I was from an older generation, but I have quite a few friends who live with their parents because paying off school loans is of greater priority than having their own place, and that's if they're lucky enough to have found a job. Living with your parents in your late 20s/early 30s isn't quite as much of a cause for shame as it used to be.

I may have a little bit of a knee-jerk reaction, yes, but generally I try to hold myself back from being judgmental. As as been noted above, there are a lot of reasons living with ones parents may be necessary, if not simply preferable. In some cultures, it's the norm to stay with your parents even if you are a working adult who could live independently.

I certainly judge people who mooch off of their parents and also people who use their parents as an excuse not to be independent. I know a guy whose mother has some medical issues, but it's nothing she can't handle on her own. Only this guy pretty much makes her his whole world and constantly uses helping her as an excuse for everything, including failing to get his career off the ground and generally not living his own life. The weird thing is, she doesn't ask for much and certainly isn't guilting him into this.

I do because I have to. It's also the smartest choice for me right now.

With the economy the way it is I find it really stupid to judge someone based on where they live. I mean, it's possible there are some people out there who just don't want to leave their mommy's house and want their parents to take care of them forever and not have to work etc. but really? Why should you care? Unless you're planning to marry this person it's none of your business.

+ infinity

murderershair.livejournal.com - 2012-08-29 23:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-29 23:33 (UTC) - Expand

People in my country usually live with their parents until they marry. The wages are low and the living cost is too high so unless you're born in $$$ it can't be helped. There's also some cultural stigma from parents against it- every time I bring up the fact that I plan to move out on my own eventually my mom acts like it's a selfish thing to do.

....so uh, no I don't, I figure they have their reasons. I do envy people that can live on their own though.

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-29 23:54 (UTC) - Expand

No, and fuck anyone who does, especially in this day and age. Other commenters have already covered the million valid reasons why an adult might live at home, but let me just add this: Just because someone looks able-bodied and healthy (and therefore lazy) doesn't necessarily mean they are.

(My teal deer, let me show you it: I have chronic pain that can be absolutely debilitating, but even when I can't get out of bed I *look* perfectly fine. I've been out of school for over a year and out of work for longer than that, because the jobs I can physically do won't hire me for lack of experience and the jobs that I can actually get would require me to push myself well beyond what my body can tolerate. A well-meaning relative got me an interview for a job that falls into the latter category, and I've spent all afternoon crying because even though I know what it'll do to my health, I'll have to take the job if it's offered because there's just nothing else and I already feel like total shit for mooching off my parents even though up until now I really haven't had a choice. So yeah, people assuming that adults who live at home are just being lazy really, really hit a sore spot with me.)

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

brightblueink - 2012-08-29 23:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

partialsatyr - 2012-08-30 01:02 (UTC) - Expand

No, cause housing is fucking expensive and unless you've got a great job it's probably financially beneficial to live with your parents for a while longer these days.

I'm 22 and live with my parents. I'm working, but not making enough to live on my own. I'm trying to find another job... and I would LIKE to move out, to be honest. But for the next year that might not be viable.

24, grad student, still live with my parents. I don't really care if people judge me for it either. It's free rent, free food, they're clean people so there's no arguing about dirty dishes or clothes on the floor. I think the only downside is that they're still a little too into my business for comfort considering my age but I just think that's a natural consequence of living under their roof for so long and we otherwise get along, so.

Re: Do You Automatically Judge Adults

brightblueink - 2012-08-29 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

no because fuck this economy.

but if you're able-bodied/mentally fit & haven't been trying very hard to find your own means of living, i'll side-eye you pretty hard.

No, I don't.

No. I live with my parents (I'm 27), my sister and her husband live with us (she's 27, he's 25), and my older brother lives with us too (he's 29). The only kid in my family who has made it out of the house is my youngest brother (he's 25, has a good job and is renting a bedroom from one of his friends). Jobs and affordable housing are hard to find right now. My older brother and I are only working two part time jobs each, both of which pay crap (and yes, I have a bachelor's degree). My sister and her husband have been looking for a home for a year, but nothing yet which they can afford. We all pay my parents rent to cover food and other expenses, and we all help around the house in various ways.

Basically, we'll all move out as soon as we can afford to do so and find jobs that pay better.

I don't judge most people if they still live their parents, but only if they're helping out (paying rent, bills etc). People like my brother, who still lives at home and pays nothing towards living expenses or the house, is almost 40 :/ Him, I judge A LOT

I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I did since I lost my apartment at the beginning of the year when I was fired. I'm living with my mother-in-law now because our jobs don't give us nearly enough to get another place. Even when we do have enough, my father is moving in with us because he's disabled, so...

No, not automatically, especially not nowadays when economic shit is so rough. And you know, some people live with their parents to help out their parents because they don't want them to have to deal with a stranger as a caretaker or put them in a nursing home.

I actually remember raging a bit at some Frasier episodes where people implied Frasier was a loser for living with Martin, even though the only reason he was living with Martin was to take care of him.

No. I'm twenty-five and live with my Mum - I just finished my degree, am actively looking for work (I might have something lined up! ...Part-time and only a bit over minimum-wage, so yeah, that $260 or so a week is going to do heaps for rent, utilities, and living expenses in Sydney), and will be starting my Master's early next year, so I literally cannot afford to move out. At all.

It isn't easy to find work. And even if you do, there's a good chance it won't be enough to live off.

And that aside, what's the problem? I get on awesomely with my Mum. We're very compatible, in terms of living style (identical levels of cleanliness, noise, et cetera), I tink the last time we argued was about half a year ago and lasted all of an hour before making up, and if I'm earning, I'll contribute towards living expenses (I even do that NOW, just on unemployment while I look for work).

If someone is genuinely lazy and doesn't contribute a thing when they're able to, then yeah, little bit of, "...Hmm", but that's more questioning why they're not contributing to any household at all. There are a lot of legit reasons why someone might still live with their parents, and 'Because it works and I want to' is one of them.

i dont judge others, but i judged myself. i lived with my parents up until this past may because not only was i attending a school 7 minutes away from their house for about two years, but i was also being introduced to some really awful health problems that brought into question whether i'd ever be able to live alone.

yet i still felt this weird cultural expectation that i should have moved out at 18. my parents never pressured me at all, my friends never judged me (and many of them still live with their folks), but i always felt ashamed of it.