[ SECRET POST #2240 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2240 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #320.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - trolls that were a little too obvious; come on, at least don't capitalize the same word in every secret. The others can slide by!].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

To echo some of the above comments: Speaking as one of those fans who has pulled through several bad spots with the help of fandom, YES, feel free to draw back as often and as far as you need to stay happy. Trust me, misery doesn't actually love company (or shouldn't, since making more people miserable doesn't actually solve any problems).

It's not on you. Your first responsibility is yourself. If you can help after that, do, but keep yourself steady first.

[likeadeuce]

Yes, this.

I'm kind of appalled by the number of people on this thread who think the point is to decide that OP's friends can't possibly have real problems rather than that OP needs to figure out how to work out their own boundaries (which is a really challenging thing even -- especially -- if the friends' problems are real.)

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, problems =/= problems. Nobody is saying that the OP's friends can't possibly have any problems at all. Most people have problems of some sort. Most people don't have absolutely debilitating horrifying problems that they constantly need to talk about. There ARE a lot of people who exaggerate their problems if they have a sympathetic audience. Especially people who have a tough time IRL and nobody who pays attention to them there. But the moment somebody listens to them and takes them seriously, they will turn every tiny problem they've ever had into gigantic life-crushing misery just to have SOMEONE's sympathy.

[likeadeuce]

No, people actually were saying that when they started talking about delusions and self-diagnosis.

But I'm glad you're an expert on people you've never met, it must be a great skill!

[(Anonymous)]

You're using that exact same skill to decide that no one could possibly be like the sorts of people other anons are describing.

[likeadeuce]

Oh, my God, you all failed basic logic, didn't you.

I am not saying NO ONE IS EVER LIKE THAT.

I am saying THAT IS NOT THE SITUATION THAT OP IS DESCRIBING.

[(Anonymous)]

How do you know that that isn't the situation that OP is describing?

[likeadeuce]

Because there are no words to that effect in what OP wrote?

I mean, yes, that could be what's going on behind the scenes there, but NONE OF THE WORDS IN THAT SECRET are 'my friends are self-diagnosing drama queens who make up their own problems to get attention.' The element of faking was brought in by other commenters.

Sometimes it is depressing to bring basic reading comprehension skills to a thread where no one else seems to bother.

[(Anonymous)]

By the way, basic fucking logic in the way that you're using it would decree that YOU ARE NO MORE CORRECT THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE. Unless the OP comments to clear shit up, then no one here can know whether OP's fandom friends are either fakers or people with actual problems. INCLUDING YOU.

You want to believe that they have actual problems. But, fact is, the situation OP is describing could involve a bunch of attention-seeking fuckers just as easily as it could involve a bunch of people with actual problems who are, unfortunately, discussing said problems with a frequency that is too great for some others to handle.

YOU ARE ALSO FAILING AT LOGIC YOU JACKASS.

[likeadeuce]

I am saying "don't assume things that are not said are part of the original poster's scenario." You are saying "But why can't we assume things that are not said are part of the original poster's scenario."

We both agree that some things are unknowable. I am saying "It makes sense to stick to the things that were actually stated by OP and not create assumptions based on other scenarios."

This is not the same logic. It is entirely different logic.

[(Anonymous)]

To be fair, there ARE a lot of people who make up non-existent problems to get some attention in fandom. I do tend to take everything I see online with a grain of salt at first (though of course I wouldn't dream of calling anyone a liar: I just wait to know them a bit better), because I've seen the same thing happening WAY too many times: Random Fan does or says something sucky, gets called out on it, and goes all "I have Asperger's!" as a response, even though they never showed any kind of sign associated with it. And when that happens, I can't help but assume they're making it up to have a free pass for their hasshattery. As an Aspie myself, I can't help but think they're a huge part of the reason why so many people on the internet think that Aspie = asshole-who-made-up-a-lousy-excuse. Of course assuming is bad and all, but those people? They sure are not helping.

[likeadeuce]

Again, the only thing I was saying is that THERE IS NOTHING IN OP'S SECRET to suggest the people OP is talking about are making up problems that don't exist, and whether their problems are real or not is not actually relevant (though OP seems to assume they are, with the repeatedly saying that they feel lucky not to be in that situation).

[(Anonymous)]

Newsflash: There are actually aspies who are assholes. And they might use their diagnosis as an excuse. Hell, they might even use it as an excuse to not work on themselves.

Sensible people will reply: "But having aspergers doesn't give you a free pass to be a jerkass," instead of going "Ohhh well okay then."

People, diagnosed by a doctor or themselves, who claim that aspergers is the reason they're dicks are wrong, and doing a dickish thing. People who jump to the conclusion that aspies are dicks because some people use it as an excuse are also doing a dickish thing.

[(Anonymous)]

what is wrong with you? no, not everybody is faking their diagnoses, but some of them are. this is not news. this is the reason things like fake_ljers and munchausen's by internet exist. people on the internet lie and fake and exaggerate in order to leech attention just as much as people in real life, and your crusading against anyone who dares to mention that those people exist is completely missing the point.

[likeadeuce]

Right, you're right, fake LJ illness is the only thing that is an issue here, and people with real mental health problems being belittled and assumed to be lying is never a thing that happens.

[(Anonymous)]

Has it not occurred to you that the existence of one phenomena reinforces the existence of the other?

[likeadeuce]

Yes, and which one is reinforced when people bring up faking although IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT OP SAID.

a isn't b

[(Anonymous)]

"a thing that happens" = / = "the only thing that happens, ever"

Re: a isn't b

[likeadeuce]

The point of my original response was to point out that commenters were jumping to "OP's friends are fakes and liars" when that was NOT PART OF THE SECRET.

So all I'm trying to say is "don't assume people are fakers and don't have legitimate problems" when you have no way of knowing.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd rather be an asshole and cut out someone that my instincts tell me who is faking it, rather than abiding by the demands of SJWs. My wellbeing and the wellbeing of my loved ones are worth more important.

The possibility of those with Munchausens and fake accounts are a real problem that, in all fairness, anyone in the OP's position should be aware of. The effects of dealing with these people can be devastating.

I suspect some of the commentors are speaking from experience even if they don't have the correct terminology for it.

I don't think anyone is blaming OP for not having boundaries, they are encouraging the OP to not have guilt in going ahead and setting them.

[likeadeuce]

I'd rather be an asshole and cut out someone that my instincts tell me who is faking it, rather than abiding by the demands of SJWs

Is there a version of Godwin's law that says the first one who calls someone a SJW loses?

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, what the holy fucking hell are you contributing here? Anything constructive? No. Any point to this comment except about your own hurt fee fees? No.

What does this comment serve except for your lashing out?

Way to make it about all about you.

[(Anonymous)]

God, are you really this fucking moronic? Even if someone has a real fucking genuine problem, you can't possibly assume that this problem should come before caring for yourself or your loved ones.

It's not that difficult.

[(Anonymous)]

It's morons like you who need to be told that online contacts are not as important as your own rl responsibilities.

READING COMPREHENSION, STUPID.

Sounds like you have a problem with people prioritizing their lives.

[(Anonymous)]

What is with this comment?

That's what anon is saying.