case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-09-09 06:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #2442 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
because both of them sound kind of made-up to me. If pansexuals are "gender-blind" doesn't that make them... bisexual? Because there are two genders-- whether you are trans or not, you still identify as one gender. Unless you literally have either multiple personalities or two sets of genitals, you are a single sexed, single gendered person.

Perhaps pansexuals are people who are sexually attracted to both the male and female personalities of someone with disassociative identity disorder?

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Demisexuality was created by a teenage girl for her RP character on livejournal. A bunch of people on Tumblr clung to the word, because they felt it made them special and whatnot. So basically, yeah, it's complete madeup bullshit.

Unsure about Pansexual, though.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
No, genderqueer/agender/intersex people exist too, that aren't either of the binary male/female groups.
chardmonster: (Default)

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-09-09 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Basically it's splitting hairs a bit.

Certain people believe that "bisexual" means that someone is only attracted to people who fit in a neat gender binary, whereas "pansexual" means attracted to any gender expression.

In practice, bisexual is an older term than pansexual, and painting perceived limitations on a prexisting identification to inflate yourself is a jerk move.

Really, there's nothing wrong with pansexuality. The problem is that a lot of people seem to call themselves pansexual because it sounds special.

There was a similar problem with (mostly straight girls) calling themselves bisexual when I was in college. It led to me trying to tell a couple friends I was bi and them flat out not believing me. So. People pulling this shit suck.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-09-10 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
In practice, bisexual is an older term than pansexual, and painting perceived limitations on a prexisting identification to inflate yourself is a jerk move.

Exactly.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
I'd agree with that if the majority of people thought that bisexuality was all-inclusive.

But the academic/original definition of bisexuality isn't the one most people think of when they say bisexual, any more. What people perceive it as, is "cismen and ciswomen" so it gets complicated. Yes, people can point out that the original meaning of bisexuality wasn't so limited, but that appears to be what it means now to the general populace

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
if bisexuality excludes trans people wouldn't hetero or homosexuality do the same thing. And doesn't that imply that trans men and women aren't real men and women, but some kind of third gender? isn't that just shitty to everyone?
I also dispute your definition of "general populace".

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-09-10 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
The whole language is tainted with assumptions of duality and dichotomy. Singling out the bisexual community for reclaiming the language used to marginalize us while using roots like homo-, hetero-, -sexual, trans-, and -gendered (and glossing over the fact that "pansexual" comes to us from Freudian psychology to describe something very different from how it's currently used) strikes me as a big problem.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
Neither bisexuality nor homosexuality (nor heterosexuality, for that matter) inherently exclude trans people, but individual bi, gay, lesbian, and hetero people sometimes do. Many queer spaces are inclusive, sure, but not all of them.

One of the most transphobic individuals I've ever had the misfortune to deal with was a bi guy.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 11:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-09-10 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
What it means now to the general population is that I'm an infected, deceptive, fudge-packing, faggot.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
No? It's not quite the 80s any more, the whole queer people have AIDS thing is muuuuch less prevalent. At least with people under 40, IDK.

Either way, what a word is taken to mean literally and how people judge those the word applies to aren't remotely the same thing and not a fair comparison to make.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-11 00:17 (UTC) - Expand
chardmonster: (Default)

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-09-10 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
I can tell you, as an academic myself, that expecting the broader world to live by academic terms is a losing proposition. It can actually be a bit mean to make people to attempt to live in easily studied categories determined by a bunch of folks with phDs. That language exists for studying society, not organizing it.

I don't expect average people to identify with my meta gobbledigook. That's for my fellow historians and history students.
Edited 2013-09-10 01:16 (UTC)

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
Thats... exactly the point I'm trying to make! Thank you.

How bisexuality originally was defined is not what it's generally taken to mean. Generally, people take it to mean that you are into cismen and ciswomen and many people who ID as bi mean they like cismen and ciswomen only.

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 05:01 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 11:35 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 16:13 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:46 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:51 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 03:41 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 04:18 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 12:18 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 05:08 (UTC) - Expand

New anon sweeps in!!

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 05:13 (UTC) - Expand
arcadiaego: Grey, cartoon cat Pusheen being petted (Default)

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

[personal profile] arcadiaego 2013-09-10 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
The majority of people think bisexuality means I'm too scared to call myself a lesbian or will cheat on my partner because one will never be enough. It doesn't mean I have to change how I define myself to please the majority or anyone.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Agreed on splitting hairs (DA, btw). Especially since bi could, in the strictest sense, mean any number of things. I mean, if I were only attracted to, say, cis women and third gender folks, but not cis males or FTM individuals, then, yeah, in the most pedantic sense I would be bi.

So would a person who was only attracted to trans folks, but both FTM and MTF.

Forcing bi folks to admit their label is wrong and offensive is just as pedantic and pretty damn terrible. And bigoted as hell.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
There are actual intersex people out there. And maybe you think this is made up too, but there are people who identify as neither or both male and female.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
There are more than two genders, though. (Bigender, agender, genderfluid...)

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Special snowflakes' bullshit genders don't count.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
lol, if you want to get into THAT, gender itself is a social construct so everyone is a special snowflake bullshitter, some are simply vastly more common and accepted than others! try asking 50 women how they'd define 'female' and you'd probably get much more than one answer

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
DA

I think it's mind numbingly convoluted to say "I'm gender neutral, so I can wear "boy" clothes and "girl" clothes!"

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
everyone is a special snowflake bullshitter

basically. i am so on board with this line of thinking.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh, you are aware that certain countries now have "third gender" options on legal documents, including passports, right? When governments are accepting that there are more than two genders your "special snowflake bullshit genders" argument goes right out of the window.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Except third gender is something related to some specific cultures and intersexuality, which is completely unrelated to the special snowflakes' made-up-just-because-not-other-label-is-good-enough-for-them genders.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 08:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
The human body is a little more complicated than that. There's people who have chromosomes that are different from their genitals (i.e. androgen insensitivity syndrome), there's people whose genitals were altered against their will (i.e. victims of botched circumcisions or female mutilation, cancer patients), there are trans people who choose not to make a full transition and therefore have the common characteristics of both sexes, and so on and so forth.

So it's not like you're gonna draw up a panel of experts to determine which sex and/or gender a person with a secondary female characteristics and primary male characteristics actually is instead of just accepting it if they say none of the above. And since they're not male or female, then what's the term for those who are attracted to them nonetheless? Not that they need a term to exist, but if they wanted one just for expediency's sake. Hence, pansexual.

Re: why is pansexuality ok and demisexuality not?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
You do realize all words are made up, right?