[ SECRET POST #2530 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2530 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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13. http://i.imgur.com/sXm4j5b.gif
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16. [WARNING for abuse]





















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

How do we feel about them?

I ask because of a thread yesterday about deal-breakers, this came up, and I was /far/ too late to the thread to do any good.

So yeah; Men who fantasize about raping you: Are you ok with this? Can they be trusted? /Should/ they be trusted of given the benefit of the doubt? Is it a deal-breaker? General discussion.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

*shrug* Women have rape kinks too. And couples will roleplay rape fantasies. As long as they don't actually rape anyone, I don't care.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

It's not my kink so I'd be uncomfortable with it, but I don't think people with rape fantasies are rapists, if that's what you're getting at.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh christ.

Re: Men with rape kinKs (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Kinks. Rape Kinks.

Ugh.

I know what that is as well, I type kind about a million times a day (Kind regards at the end of my emails) and I type kinks maybe once a month, tops.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

People with age play kinks, should they not be trusted around children? What about women with rape fantasies?

Kinks and fantasies are not real life, so the way I figure it is as long as everything is consensual it's all good. I don't think certain kinks make people untrustworthy. How someone deals with their kinks and fantasies might, though.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[dreemyweird]

I'm an asexual, and I would have been creeped the hell out if I learnt that somebody fantasized about raping me. Like... I understand it's just a kink, but I would have stayed well away from that person, regardless of their gender.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

In general: Why should they not be trusted? I have fantasized about killing, does not make me more likely to murder someone.

If they fantasize about specifically raping me, then maybe? I am not sure, depends on the context I guess.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

It would depend, for me. Like, do they have rape fantasies *in general*, and are aware that there's a difference between fantasy and reality? That's totally fine by me. Hell, I'll admit to finding non-con and rape fics hot, precisely because it's such a violation. But strictly in the realm of fiction.

Someone who admits to specifically fantasizing about raping *me*? That skeeves me out quite a bit more, and I'd really only be at all okay with that in the context of a relationship where we were laying out kinks for some sort of negotiation, and then only if he were pretty clear about "hey, I know this is fucked up, but it's a turn-on. Totally not expecting anything, and I'd never do anything without your OK."

Someone I'm just getting to know or date brings it up (either as a general fantasy or specifically)? Yeah, that's gonna be a deal breaker.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Nope, that's a deal-breaker. End of story.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[fingalsanteater]

You're fucking kidding me, right? Should they be trusted?!? Should you trust a woman with a rape kink? GTFO trollp.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Fine as long as they don't act on it (beyond consensual role play).

However, I do not have a kink for being raped, so I would not date or sleep with someone who I knew had rape fantasies.

What I do hate are men who think ALL women have rape fantasies, and especially those who feel the need to bring up this "fact" when actual rape is being discussed, usually giving me the feeling that they're trying to say rape isn't that bad because some (or all, in their minds) women have fantasies about it.

context

[(Anonymous)]

Well, if a dude came up to me and said "Hey, I have this kink...this fantasy of raping you." I would be creeped the fuck out and not trust them and run away.

But if a dude I was in a relationship with confessed to having a rape fantasy then it would be a very different situation. I'm not going to suddenly stop trusting someone or break up with them because of one kink. If it's more of a fetish can't-live-without-it thing for them then that gets a little more iffy, but that would be more about our kinks not lining up than the specific rape kink thing.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Depends: do they fantasize about seeing someone so hot/beautiful that they lose control, and can't help themselves? Or do they fantasize about taking control, and hurting someone against their will?

Either way, I'd not personally be interested, (though I'd find the first version far less creepy) but if they were willing to do it respectfully/consensual with a safe word and everything, it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm curious what you mean by "too late to do any good." What "good" do you think needed doing in a thread about sharing personal preferences?

I am well familiar with the idea of getting off on something in fantasy that the same person would find horrible and repulsive in real life. I wouldn't trust someone who I had reason to think would not respect my safewords or right to withhold consent, but that's largely independent of their kinky fantasies, in my experience.

(Honestly, I think the guys to worry about are the ones who don't consider getting off on the idea of rape to be a "kink." Calling it a kink acknowledges that it's not a typical and expected part of the standard sexual experience.)

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a woman and I have a rape kink of myself as the rapist. In fact, I've daydreamed some pretty elaborate fantasies of it. I am also 100% certain that I would never do something like that in real life, end of story, not because I'm certain my ~great morality~ will stop me from doing ~fulfilling my fantasy~ like I obviously want to_, but because my fantasy bears absolutely zero relation to what I like in real life. I have no desire whatsoever to do it IRL, because RL is *gasp* DIFFERENT. I have no desire to fulfill this fantasy.

For one, in a fantasy, you can control not only your actions, but the other person's reactions, your own reactions, the physical feelings, the physical appearance, and the eventual consequences. Nothing can go wrong in a fantasy, you have absolute control over what results from it, and the person you are raping is just a projection who will vanish whenever you want it to. Just like anything you have ever fantasized about is different IRL. It's apples and oranges.

Asking me if I would rape someone because I have a rape kink is basically like asking me if I would jump off a skyscraper because I have fantasies about jumping off a skyscraper and floating to the ground magically without bashing my brains out on the street.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

It's a complete deal-breaker for me. If other people would give benefit of the doubt, that's fine, but I'm not obligated to do so.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

I do not like them. I think they are dangerous. I do not trust them.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, Im sure theyre fine. It's not like 80% of men have admitted that they would rape someone in real life, and it's not like the legal system is built in a way to give those men every chance: "So you knew he had a rape kink, and you chose to spend time alone with him anyway? I think you wanted it!!"

Cmon girls, Roll the dice!

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

1. Blah blah what everyone else said above, about how fantasy =/- reality and having a fantasy doesn't mean that you wish you could fulfill your fantasy. Morality and rationality aside, sometimes you have no wish at all for your fantasy to occur anywhere but your brain.

2. There are at least two kinds of rape fantasies: the one where you get off on the idea of scaring and hurting someone (even though you know hurting people is a bad thing IRL), and the one where you get off on the idea of forcing your attentions on someone and having them turn out to enjoy it (even though you know that people don't enjoy being raped IRL). They are quite different.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Not only is it a dealbreaker, but the fact that I can't tell who these men are just by looking at them is the reason I ignore everything I know about gun safety. If I ever come face to face with one of these guys, I'm not fucking around with safety while I get raped.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Anyone with a rape kink is a huge fucking no for me.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Whoa. Whoa there OP I think we need to have a clarification here- raping me or having rape fantasies wherein they're the rapist?

Because the difference there is phenomenal.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[darkmanifest]

It only becomes a dealbreaker if it's ever mentioned again after I have firmly expressed how out-of-bounds it is for any relationship with me, unless it's brought up as a reason for the dude breaking up with me, which is perfectly fair. This is only theoretically speaking, though. Rape fantasy - whether playing as victim or perpetrator - is one of my Big No No turn offs, so I dunno how I'd feel about knowing someone I'm with is really into it, even if they fully respect that I'm not.

Re: Men with rape kinds (Themselves as the rapist)

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I'm a woman with a rape kink (with myself as the rapist) so I wouldn't be that skeeved. I'm well aware that it's just a fantasy and not something I would - or would even want to - act out in real life.

Still, it would be a deal breaker, only because it means our tastes in bedroom roles are almost certainly incompatible.