[ SECRET POST #2616 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2616 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #374.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Seems to me that a few years ago, people in fandom were pretty okay and non-judgemental about kinks except for the most sex-negative 'feminist'.

At those point that's changed back and now even otherwise reasonable people can't stop complaining about how problematic dubcon or s/s are.

YKINMKBYKIOK

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

People can also not like kinks and that's okay.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Not liking a kink isn't the same as shaming a kink. "YKINMK" stands for "Your Kink Is Not My Kink," i.e., I don't like that kink. The difference is, it's followed by, "But Your Kink Is OK."

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

I know what it means. But sometimes people aren't okay with a kink. It might really bother them. They're allowed to say that it bothers them or that they think it's gross, as long as they're not sending hateful messages to someone for liking a kink I don't think just saying that they find it problematic is "shaming". But I don't know what prompted you to make this thread, maybe they are doing that.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Probably because SJW decided that pony porn existing was worst thing to ever happen to fandom.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[comradesmiler]

But it is.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

....this is new....

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Eh. Only kink I shame is underage that focuses on how sexy it is for an adult to fuck children (babies to thirrteen-ish). If nothing else because stories and art of this is you know...illegal in many places.

And honestly if you are writing and getting off to people raping babies, I think you need to reevaluate your life.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

THANK you. While I think in some cases people just see it as a separation of what's okay IRL versus online/in fanfic, I worry about people doing other things that are definitely not okay. Or legal. What if they're using the same logic people who write/draw this sort of stuff are?

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

If we go with the "orientation is not a choice" idea about paedophilia, then where is the harm in a paedophile who knows that his orientation is legally wrong trying to get his kicks from written or drawn from imagination media?

If he's using photographs or videos of real children, or art drawn from those, or abusing real children himself, then obviously that is wrong. But fictional fantasy that features no real children... if it satisfies their urges, then we shouldn't shame them for it.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

The majority of the folks enjoying that smut are imagining themselves as the kid being raped. Do they need to reevaluate their lives too? What criteria are you using?

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[yield]

who cares if someone one the internet "shames" your kink tho. like....kink shaming/ship shaming is such a stupid thing to get mad about. if you are into rape, underage, etc stuff like that you should expect there is going to be people who are Not Okay with it at all.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Especially if they're newer to that side of fandom. I was - where I'd posted before, the only people who posted underage/rape stuff were obvious trolls, so yeah, I was disturbed, and people really overreacted on me. I know better now, but it kind of sucked at the time.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[ill_omened]

I would imagine they care because it means all sorts of regressive laws get passed, and it represents and enviroment where someone is being attacked for something they don't think is wrong.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

I'd ask you, who cares, or rather why should you care, if someone is into noncon? if it's a harmless fictional kink, why are people shaming at all.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

I think shaming or mocking someone in general is a normal thing to be upset about. It's a little weird to be all "Why do you care if people mock and insult you? That is so stupid stop being upset at people calling you stupid!"

Also there is a difference between being Not Okay with a kink and actively shaming people about it.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

It depends on the kink honestly. There's kinks I believe are disturbing (non-con and fics where one of the characters is underage), and so do a lot of fans, so while the people who are fine with them would consider disparaging them kink shaming, people who think like I do wouldn't.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

But there's a huge difference between saying "I hate non-con" and "You like non-con? You are disgusting, there's something wrong with you, way to contribute to rape culture" etc.

What do you mean by disparaging? Disparaging fans of non-con? I would say that is pretty dickish, to attack anyone because of a kink. Unless it's like, something they do in real life, obviously.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Hm, I haven't seen any kink shaming myself. Though I have noticed that kink seems to be a lot tamer and sticks to a small handful of kinks rather than the full out exploring of any and all I saw a few years ago. Could just be the fandoms I'm in now though.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[herpymcderp]

Is this a thing? Are people actually still under the impression that sexual fantasy has anything to do with sex in reality?

Because if so, there's a whole wonderful world of sexologists that they really should be speaking to.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

What's s/s?

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

Probably because people were using ykinmk to shrug off blame when their attitude actually hurt people. There are places where you can talk about rape kink, but if you mess up and a rape survivor calls you out for being gross and fetishizing their trauma, you have to keep in mind that your right to wank is never above someone's right to dignity.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

but if you mess up and a rape survivor calls you out for being gross and fetishizing their trauma

The problem with that attitude is that someone's kink has nothing to do with that individual person or their trauma any more than a crime drama has anything to do with the relatives of a murder victim. It's not fetishizing their trauma because their trauma is an individual experience, whereas the kink is about the concept as a whole on a fictional level rather than a realistic one. The two things don't really have anything in common.

I mean, by that logic I should have been offended by the fact that House did an episode about the disease that killed one of my relatives. But I wasn't, because it was a fictional depiction and it wasn't about me or my experiences. People need to remember that.

Re: When did kink-shaming come back into vogue

[(Anonymous)]

but if you mess up and a rape survivor calls you out for being gross and fetishizing their trauma

And what if the author of that rape fic IS a survivor of that same trauma, and putting a rape in a fictional, controllable context is part of how they deal with it?

Which is why authorial intent should never be assumed, as calling someone's therapy "gross" and "fetishizing" can also be very hurtful.