[ SECRET POST #2635 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2635 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Casshern (film)]


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02.
[cosplay, Anthony Misiano]


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03. http://i.imgur.com/4s3vCwo.png
[link for nudity/etc. naked mpreg snape with boobs.]


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04. http://i.imgur.com/aQi1eUV.png
[link for nudity (OP requested it; not really sexual though. probably would've been ok, considering the one below ↓)]


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05.


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06.


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07.


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08. [posted twice]


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09.
[Josh Radnor]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]



























10. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]



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11. [SPOILERS for Grimm]



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12. [SPOILERS for Twisted]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]





























13. [WARNING for ephebophilia]



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14. [WARNING for suicide]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. [WARNING for suicide]
http://i.imgur.com/W2c8mOC.png

[yield]

you can't find ANYONE? i find that hard to believe because it's not like there aren't people out there who have your same complaints.

your bit about mental illness rubs me wrong, but maybe i'm just reading it and taking it too personally.

[omens]

Maybe you want something like tv_talk?

[rubbertea]

congratulations on being a balanced, well-adjusted person

no really, that's not sarcasm. people like you are hard to come by in fandom. maybe that's because you're the silent majority.

[(Anonymous)]

I know the feeling: I'm in the fandom so that I can have fun and relax, not to serve as someone's therapist. But it's pretty easy to avoid the TMI personal posts and journals, and I don't participate in cons or giving gifts to actors, so in the end I see very little of the more fanatic parts of fandom.

[(Anonymous)]

Me too, OP. I suspect the average age of people in fandom does have a lot to do with it. Young folk get so goddamn worked up about pretty nearly everything. It's exhausting! But I can remember a time when I wasn't so different.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I'm with you on the first part *shrug* in that I don't spend money or go to cons. Though I occasionally get obsessed. Everyone's mileage varies. As for the second, sounds like you don't need the intense, enclosing, safe environment that can be so very welcoming for those with mental illness. Congrats, you are in the majority and can function in most spheres, fandom as a whole is obviously not made for you. However, I'm sure there's plenty of engagement you can have if you search around; I mean, my tumblr list is pretty positive and I unfollow or don't follow people who have major esteem issues; not here for that. Not that tumblr is the best place, haha, search around for general forums. Lots of people like you are pretty casual about fandom and especially with popular TV shows there's many places where people chat without too much of themselves put into it.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like I could have written this secret. Word for fucking word.

I've

[(Anonymous)]

I ... kinda of agree? To the extent that I've not felt as "at home" in the fandoms I've been in the past few years as I did in the first few fandoms I got into years ago. I know it could just be different fandoms = different crowds, but it feels as though it's more than that.

[(Anonymous)]

Did I make this in my sleep?

I feel this exact way about fandom, especially the amount of personal mental illness discussions in fandom places. I don't follow any personal tumblr blogs and none of my lj friends post that stuff but I still end up seeing it all the time. I'm glad people who need help are reaching out for it, but I'm not equipped to help them and it makes me uncomfortable to see that in fandom comms on LJ or reblogged by an RP blog or whatever. And honestly I could do without seeing anymore posts that are more bragging about having X number of diagnoses or some other ridiculous one-upping.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the same way, OP. I have nothing against people with mental illness, but it gets incredibly tiring to deal with sometimes, especially when you're bombarded with it from all sides. (Also, this is going to make me sound like an asshole, but I suspect a good portion of these depressed or socially anxious people are merely self-diagnosed drama queens/kings. A lot of them just seem like whiny teenagers who are angry that people dare to expect them to do homework.)

[(Anonymous)]

As someone involved in fandom and who has a mental illness...

... I actually sympathize with the OP. I really don't think fandom is a very healthy place simply because it so often enables or encourages bad behavior. A lot of forums just turn into these echo chambers which end up enabling the kind of mental illness they're trying to help.

Now, I'm not saying this is always the case, and I do understand there are people for whom fandom is the only available escape hatch. However, it's far from ideal when it comes to grappling with such things. Plus it's kind of dangerous to even talk about mental illness on a public forum, since you don't know who might be reading it. There are some pretty shady people out there.

I generally make it a point to try not to mention my own mental issues on fandom spaces (I'll admit that I did it once). I've had people come to me for help, and I do what I can, but I also encourage them to look outside the fandom if they're able to do so. Getting help from other fans often ends up being inmates counseling inmates.

nope

[(Anonymous)]

idk, I like cons and fanish exitement. It's like being a football fan, but somehow less socially acceptable.
What crowds do you stalk? The majority shares your opinion, you know. I don't really get this secret.

And I don't think there are more depressed or whatever people in fandoms: fans in fandoms create and socialize, wich is a healthy activity.

[tabaqui]

Well, we're out there, you just have to look. I am as into and excited about my shows and otps and a lot of people, but not to the extent of buying gifts for people i don't know, or jetting off to cons (too much money) or sending fanfic to strangers. Holy crap.

So, you know...we exist.

Slight tangent, but where is this mythical safe space I keep hearing about?

[nyxelestia]

Because my experience with fandom has been one of theft, bullying, and having to constantly be on the defensive, either because you never know when someone will go from being friend to foe, or because you never know when someone who you thought was mentally stable turns out to have some kind of mental illness and you just set it off with the wrong word or phrasing.

Fandom has never been a safe space and it boggles my mind that people who get even more deeply involved with fandom than I do - the kinds of fandom activity full of backstabbing and relentless belligerence - boggles my mind.

I am pretty sure the only reason I haven't left fandom entirely is because I've been emotionally raising my mother and half my friends since I was 7 and barely even notice it anymore when I end up as someone's unofficial therapist/counselor/whatever. That and a caustic personality, so people don't come to me for comfort so much as help, which are a lot more different and contradictory to each other than most people realize. (I only recently learned that this isn't obvious to most people.)

But to go back to the secret, OP: I feel you, there. That said. Yay for recognizing you are judgmental. I guess my only suggestion is to engage in more conversation, but also veer out of them much sooner (re: the point that they start to become more personal or lean into personal problems). I'm not going to lie, it's going to be much harder to make friends this way (and believe me, I am well aware that it's already hard enough to make friends in fandom as it is), but that would be the best way I could suggest engaging in fandom without engaging in people's personal problems and health issues.

Also, try branching out into other fandoms, and/or sub-fandoms of the ones you are in. I've found that often just finding the rich niche can be a good way of avoiding these types of interpersonal problems as they tend to attract very different kinds of people. Try the smaller ones (they are hit or miss though - either chock full of people with people whose fandom activities are heavily influenced by their mental illnesses, or devoid of them).

I'd suggest a strategy of lurking and anon commenting.

[(Anonymous)]

Your fandom experience can actually be what you make it.

[otakugal15]

Well, I'm fannish in that I draw fanart, write some fic, and collect things. And go to cons when I am able, but since I started working nights and can't have random nights off, cons have kind of gone by the way side.

However, I'm with you on the illness and image issues/self worth part. I know plenty of people who have those problems, and hell, I have some image issues and self worth issues myself, but my problem is airing them all completely and utterly out to the internet where I have no idea who could end up using that against me and how fucking prevalent it's gotten. And it makes me not want to instantly warm up to anyone who prefaces themselves with it.

I get it, it's a part of you and I know it's difficult, but parading it around like a fucking medal isn't gonna endear me to you. I'll most likely walk away because I can't handle that amount of cynicism and angst all he time. I'm here to have fun and gush and talk about the things that interest me and make me happy. I keep my issues between myself, my SO, and my closest friends and family, and even then, the majority of it is between me and the SO and I know sometimes he can get tired of it, so I try to keep that to myself as much as possible. Probably not healthy, but if it keeps things sane and on even ground, then so be it.

But, I won't go off on or try not judge anyone who has the issues and/or illnesses. Cause it wouldn't be fair. I'll just keep them at arms length and then unfollow them if it gets to be too much.

[riddian]

I was with this secret for the first part, but then it totally ran off the rails. Wow.

I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but MOST people are not equipped to handle suicide threats, constant belittling of self-worth, and/or excessive social awkwardness. I've found those behaviors tend to be pretty rare, and I find it hard to believe that a really significant number of fandom people behave that way. If it's really that bad where you are, drop everything and find a better corner of fandom, OP.

And I really, REALLY dislike how you basically conflated all mental illnessess (and the willingness to talk about them) with not just awkward OTT fanning, but fucking suicide threats. That is some offensive shit right there, OP. Fuck off with this "I don't know what to do because I'm actually a SANE and REASONABLE person, unlike all you MENTALLY ILL WEIRDOS" bullshit.

[(Anonymous)]

It's probably because they're lurkers and not the loud majority. I fit your description as someone who doesn't take fandom seriously and I rarely play an active role in fandom.

[(Anonymous)]

I hear you, OP. This is why I left active fandom a while back and remain on the fringes.

[darkmanifest]

While I definitely agree that fandom is a breeding ground for those kinds of behaviors, I really believe it's a matter of what part you hang out in. The trick, I think, is to either avoid very large sites which are a conglomeration of smaller sites and stick to forums and messageboards - Tumblr and Reddit are notorious cesspools (in very different but equally extreme ways) for a reason - or be on the look out for quiet corners of those websites where the majority of drama can pass you by. My corner of tumblr has only a couple of people I follow who have serious issues that come up often, and the rest of my fandom experience is pretty lighthearted.

[(Anonymous)]

I hear you, OP. Many people turn to fandom and other forms of entertainment as an escape. But it seems, that no matter how hard you want to escape, your problems still come through.

[(Anonymous)]

And people like you are why I gave up wanting to connect with fellow fans in fandoms.

But...that's fandom

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you don't fit into fandom. You fit into normal life! You could find local people who like to watch the show and talk about it. Fandom is obsession and instability.

[(Anonymous)]

I have four incurable diseases of which one is a mental illness. There is no medication for my condition and it'll last for a lifetime. You are absolutely correct and oh how I hate people using mental illness as a trump-card. Not just that, but getting offended by people who don't "understand" their special snowflake condition (like social awkwardness or some other shit). AT LEAST THERE'S A FUCKING CURE. I don't have the need to try to get pity points from fandom and those who do? ARE SAD FAILURES unless you actually do something about your condition instead of just whine. Nuff said.