[ SECRET POST #2862 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2862 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random textless image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Do you have any? Especially other than the "obvious" like abusiveness and poor hygiene.

I regularly reject people on OKC for having certain books or shows listed as their favorites. I wouldn't refuse to be friends with people based on this, but there are some books/shows/people where I just assume I won't be compatible with anyone who lists them as their favorites.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Divorced.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Smoking. It's not just that I have asthma, but that I would be constantly worried for the health of the person, and I don't really want to have to deal with that.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[iceyred]

Drugs.
Smoking.
Massive amounts of debt.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[inkdust]

Smoking and not wanting or being able to live with a cat. And honestly, messiness. Because there's only so much a person will change in those habits. I dated a girl who claimed to want to learn to be neater. I won't believe it again.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Drugs/smoking/alcoholic
Hates cops
Has kids
Relationship status "complicated"

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

financial irresponsibility
constant complaining and negativity
goes on at length about how terrible their exes were
spends too much time on social media

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[queerwolf]

Is a smoker
Is an asshole to anyone in the service industry
Doesn't like animals
Has bad debt and/or is financially clueless
Is an asshole about something important to me

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the same about some books or movies or shows myself.

Also people who are super pretentious. I mean, hey, I can be quite pretentious myself I'm totally aware of that, but if you look down on everything where the artist/writer/musician hasn't been dead for like 50 years I can't hang around you (I have a girl like this in one of my classes and she's nice enough if you want to talk about Austen or Dickens or Bach, but otherwise not so much). In another variation of this, I can't be around anyone who doesn't get any pop culture at all.

And the kind of people who only listen to one music genre or refuse to admit they even like something that isn't that genre

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[dethtoll]

No smoking, no religion.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[kallanda_lee]

A few

- has kids
- smokes (sorry, but I just don't want to kiss an ashtray-tasting mouth)
- is actively religious.
- clearly racist/homophobic/hateful (I think most people have some prejudices,including myself, but if you're going to complain about the damn foreigners taking the jerbs or need to assess your masculinity by saying how gross gay people are, it will not lead to a relationship).
- Has a zero or insignificant interest overlap with me.
- Cannot hold an intelligent conversation about several subjects.
- Thinks jealousy is "romantic".
- Not a dealbreaker per se, but people who have a lot of exes they hate are a huge red flag for me. You can have bad luck once or twice. If you hate all 12 of them you might be part of the issue.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

No smoking, no voting tory (or kipper), no daily mail readers, and no irish or scouser accents.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

If a guy uses violent terms to refer to sex, like slay, annihilate, destroy, etc. Makes me think they see sex as an act of domination or violence and would possibly be just as happy hurting me (or would try to hurt me during sex, like BDSM only not consensual).

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Smoking.
Being a different race from me.
Having extremely different religious views from me.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

I can't be with someone who smokes. This is not a preference for me, this is a literal health issue. Any smoke messes with my asthma.

No drugs.

I wouldn't want to date anyone who's overweight/obese, honestly. I'm currently obese, but I'm trying to lose weight, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone who isn't comfortable with that. Not to say that all overweight/obese people would be, but I've gotten the most shit about trying to lose weight from overweight/obese people, so I'd be worried about being with someone who'd oppose my efforts to get healthy.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[ill_omened]

- Kids
- Divorced
- Emotionally needy/possessive
- Smokes
- Religious
- No career drive - doesn't need to be well paid, but has to be an ambition for something of substance
- No hobbies
- Doesn't drink

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Here's a few from my past relationships:

-Full of themselves/attention-whore
-Says they dislike fans of a certain thing I like, but then say "Oh, but not you, you're ok"
-Never wants to spend time with me but has all the time in the world for their "friends," ie. I invite them to a movie, they deny, then they go to the same movie later with a group
-Stops trying to make the relationship work once we're in a relationship
-Weird, obsessive fetishes

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

No kids, no pets, no priors, no problemo.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

If my husband died and I was back on the dating scene, kids would be the #1 deal breaker. If you have kids or want them, it's not going to work out. If you're on the fence, we'll probably stay friends unless something tips your hand in a specific direction.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[nightscale]

I've got some.

-Smokes.
-Political views that differ too much. E.g: I could never, ever date someone who supported UKIP or the BNP in any way.
-Has kids.
-Being horribly bigoted in some manner, whether it's sexism/racism or homophobia(which kind of fits my second point but I've met people who don't support UKIP/BNP who were still really bigoted in some way). Or someone constantly harping on about how foreigners are 'ruining the country' and all that other BS.
-Hates pets, especially cats, and is unwilling to live with them.
-Thinking jealousy is okay or romantic.
-Interests being too different, having some differences is fine but if our interests didn't overlap at all I couldn't imagine that I'd want to date them.

I think that's it.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Doesn't like ferets. Love me, ya gotta at least tolerate my fuzzy babbies.

No athiests. I don't really require you share my religion or belief system (afk long as major moral tennents are compatible), but I can't see living with somebody who actively believes against a god/gods/creator. Agnostics are fine, btw.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care if they like a book/show/etc. I hate, but would probably back out if they hate (not dislike-- actively complain about) one that I love as well.

There are more important things already mentioned that would come way before that in terms of deal-breakers, but this is the pettiest one I have.

Cheating

[chardmonster]

Someone who cheats after high school WILL cheat again and are untrustworthy pretty much forever. There's a chance they might reform but seriously it isn't worth bothering to risk it. Other people deserve you more.

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

In no particular order:

- Drug addict/alcoholic/smoker
- Has or wants kids
- Religious
- Republican/conservative
- No common interests
- Sexual incompatibility (This is actually the #1 most important thing for me but I feel kind of bad about it because people act like it's shallow or something.)

Re: What are your relationship deal breakers?

[(Anonymous)]

Deal breakers include:

- homophobia
- jokes about homeless people
- honestly, most drugs (though I don't have a problem with friends doing them)
- smoking (same as above)
- super pretentious (or looks down on other people's tastes)
- no career ambition
- polyamory (sorry, but i have zero, zero, zero interest in being in any sort of polyamorous situation)