[ SECRET POST #5097 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5097 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 45 secrets from Secret Submission Post #730.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Inspired by secret #1 today, what piece of media (books, movies, games, et cetera) do you know totally sucks but you enjoy it anyway, regardless of its terrible quality?

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's Agent Pendergast series, beginning with The Relic. It starts off like an X-Files episode without Mulder and Scully, then morphs into this weird sorta-mystery series and the main character is a total Gary Stu. I love it.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[kaijinscendre]

The movie Doom. I watch it at least once a year.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Canadian horror movies in general. They're not often very good but they definitely have a particular endearing charm to them.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like so much of my taste is this.

But the biggest one is probably terrible action movies as a whole genre, across the board. Like, Dolph Lundgren straight-to-video 90s action movie... I can marathon those things. They're so much fun.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

I just went off on a tangent to one of my friends about my love for Gotham. When it was bad, it was very bad, but when it was good, it was fucking transcendental. 😂

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

The 2017 King Arthur film starring Charlie Hunnam. It has a lot of problems, from four different fridgings to (at times) unreasonably hard to follow cinematography, but I love the shit out of it and would absolutely watch the seven hour full footage version if it ever got released, not going to lie.

Also, Riverdale. It's so terrible and I will never let go.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

I really enjoy the first three Twilight movies and the first book. I kinda wish the series had ended at Eclipse because Breaking Dawn sucked so bad.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Sonic Forces, the characterization of the old characters suck, but I got afetuated with the goofy character creator, infinite and the trailer main character. I wasn't even that much into Sonic before this game.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[comet_scout]

I tend to always like the action comedy cartoon/mixed medias directed at 12-16 years old boys, even the not so good ones.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

(Cozy Werewolf Anon)

Sugar & Spice... a comedy about cheerleaders doing a bank heist.. in a grocery store. It's so ridiculous I have to love it.

I dunno, some Christian books are really terrible, some of the old ones by Lori Wick and Janette Pearl I'd still reread if I had them. As a kid, there was this mystery series, the Mandie Series by Lois Gladys Leppard. I had almost ALL of them at one point. There's a few Gilbert Morris books I'd probably reread too in the Winslow series. But so many of them are just so bad. (I'm so glad I got out RIGHT before the Amish craze.)

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my God, Empire. It's such delicious melodramatic soap stuff. The characters are so big and bold. Lucious is evil. Cookie is fucking amazing. Hakeem is dumb as a goddamn rock. There are explosions, amnesia, love children. It's so sad how pasted together the end was because of covid. Like, I don't care man, put that shit off but give it an actual ending instead of that crap that they did. Anyways, I love it. It's twinkie tv...terrible but delicious.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Equilibrium, with Christian Bale. It's like someone read 1984, watched the Matrix, got SUPER high, and wrote crossover fanfic. It is so earnest that it just enhances the whole experience. It's so bad!! It's amazing!! They paid Christian Bale to hold a puppy and cry!! They made up a new martial art called gun kata lmaooooooo

God I need to watch that again.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

Ridiculous Christmas movies, like The Christmas Prince, or Princess Switch.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

America's Next Top Model

Shake my body body
Move my body body
Shake my body body
Rock my body body

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

The Snowman (2017)

It makes no sense. All the plots are criminally underwritten. Just a really bad, unfinished mess. But I have so much fun watching it. It's so serious yet the premise is silly. Heard the original book it was adapted from was actually a dark comedy thriller, like Dexter I think.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[philstar22]

Pompeii (movie). I have no illusions about this being a good movie. But volcano plus swords plus sexy Romans? Sign me up.

Pretty much every single Scifi channel dragon-themed movie. Also the Eragon movie. And every other shitty movie ever with dragons. Give me dragons and I'm happy. I'm easy to please.

Porn parodies of nerdy things I like. In no way remotely good. But add actual on screen sex to fun scifi or fantasy things and I'm there regardless. Some are better than others in terms of either production quality or how hot the sex is. But I watch them all at least once.

I enjoy Queen of the Damned almost entirely for Stuart Townsend as a ridiculously sexy Lestat. Half the time or more I watch it I watch it on mute and just watch him. His look is pretty close to my headcanon look of Sauron's fair form during the 1st/2nd ages (him in this and Cody Fern in AHS:Apocalypse are the two ones I think are closest). And he's just really hot. Worth watching an awful movie. And parts of the movie are fun, honestly.

I watch all the Jurassic movies, including Jurassic Park III, which is the worst and not a good movie. But it is still fun.

The first three Underworld movies. Nothing to write home about, have a lot of issues, but a lot of fun anyway.

And here's the thing for me. Movies and tv are mostly an escape for me. I won't most of the time watch things just to watch them if I'm not going to enjoy them, even if they are critically acclaimed movies. On the other hand, if a movie is straight up fun for me, I don't care what others think about it.

there are quite a few others that some would argue are low quality, like John Carter, Warcraft, and the two Huntsmen movies, but I firmly believe those movies are at least decent.

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

I love Hallmark movies and shitty made for tv movies (or small time release ones that just kinda went straight to VHS/DVD).

Much like the commenter above re: Equilibrium, I love movies that take themselves VERY SERIOUSLY, when I'm pretty sure everyone recognizes what they're working on was just a paycheck. Alternatively, I also like the crappy movies that are a bit aware of the fact that they are cheesy camp and they play with it (Like the SyFy movie with Nina Dobrev & Kevin Sorbo -- Don't Cry Werewolf) or everyone HAMS it the fuck up (like the John Wick series, or that beautiful creatures movie where Ian mckellen? Is just hamming it right up lol)

Re: Your Favorite Shitty Media

[(Anonymous)]

I love those ridiculous SyFy channel movies. You know, the made-for-TV and Asylum and random "filmed in Vancouver" movies featuring has-been pop stars and giant bugs/fish/alligators? Or occasionally nuclear-powered tornadoes and Zack Morris?

Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Because I need some. Maybe you do too?

First times

[(Anonymous)]

Inspired by #5 and my own curiosity, did anyone actually have a good first time? My first time suckeddddd; it was with some dumbass I met at a bar (whom I unfortunately ran into intermittently thereafter), hurt like hell, and I bled a ton. I felt really neutral about it, like "Okay, well, now that's over." Does anybody actually have good first times or is the first just usually crap? Also how about between genders? I've had sex with lots of guys and most of them were honestly terrible, but I've never slept with a woman.

What was your most recent purchase?

[(Anonymous)]

Bought that Oliver Twist BBC special with Tom Hardy on DVD as a Christmas present for another fan. :3

Fic recs where the guy is the virgin?

[(Anonymous)]

Um, inspired by the secret discussion, anyone got any recs where the guy in the m/f pairing is the virgin? M/M could work too, but I feel that's probably a lot easier to find.

Late night petty annoyances

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really starting to hate terms like "boy mom" and (though I hear it far less often) "girl dad". It's just... why are people so goddamn DESPERATE to be special because they have a kid of one gender vs. another? Like there's something inherently magical about being the mother to a male child? It smacks of this weird tribalism.

I get that being a parent - especially if you're a woman - is highly undervalued and underappreciated. But I swear to god this is so annoying that I don't think it's a good solution. Particularly when I see a lot of super proud "boy moms" raising the next generation of oblivious misogynists who never learn how to do laundry or clean a toilet because their mommies and girlfriends always did it for them.