[ SECRET POST #5257 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5257 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[The Green Knight (2021)]


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10. [WARNING for discussion of child abuse]



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11. [WARNING for mention of rape and genital mutilation]























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #752.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

This movie was one of my favorites as well. And I used to go watch it randomly in the theater while it was still airing - I remember going there one afternoon after my uni class; there was only me and a couple of moms with crying kids. I mean, obviously she was wrong and a villainish character but in retrospect I hate how it gives a reason for people to... bash poorly-treated children because that's what people do, at the end of the day. They see a parent who may or may not be doing their best but are failing miserably at parenting and they go "oh poor children, go to therapy forever!" (haha yes guys I heard this myself). And it's assholey, and shitty, and I wish things weren't like this. At the end of the day I liked Tangled for what it is - sure she could be said to have a shitty life by some standards, but she'd clean her room and paint and sing (and honestly her life wasn't even that bad) and things eventually got better, and her life was shown in the movie to be much bigger than just her relationship with her abusive mother even if that's all some people will talk about. Maybe it's the bittersweet perspective what made me love it lots in retrospect.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what you are trying to say about shitty parents and therapy. Even well-meaning parents fuck up, that's only natural. People are human. And the developmental years are often where the most damage is done, so yes, a child can benefit from therapy regardless of how much their parent tried. Unfortunately, a lot of mistreated children don't realize the damage done to them until they're well into adulthood. I don't know about "therapy forever" but they may be going for a while, and there's no shame in that.

(and honestly her life wasn't even that bad)

You're joking, right?

[(Anonymous)]

I AM saying that some privileged folks are horrible to the point of recommending someone who didn't have an astounding upbringing, often for finantial reasons even, things as if they knew what it's like and expect those people to go to (paid) therapy for the rest of their lives because "*gasp* How did you manage?! I'd never!" But it IS just reality for some of us, perhaps most of us. In other words, privileged folks should acknowledge their privileges is all I am saying and have been fighting for. I am saying that the worldview of people who have been hurt ir abused in varying degrees are NOT any less valid or more flawed or less deserving of being recognized as part of the world by default see.

I am not going on an anti-therapy speech here (as a therapist I have a lot to say on the matter but this isn't the place) as much as I know some people - sometimes even pros - basis their ideas of others on some 20th century theories (looking at you Melanie Klein ...) instead of trying to understand, listening and treating others with kindness in the present because this is much harder than judging and condemning.

No? Damn I wish all my worries could be summed up in being gaslit by an otherwise caring mother (let's face it: she wasn't being held captive in a 2x2 basement), being bored because I can't go outside and then finding magical dude at 18 and living happily as a princess for the rest of my life. Don't we all?

[(Anonymous)]

SA - In other words: no, despite what society (which is made of a few privileged folks who dictate what we should think and a huge amount of people trying to be one of em) may lead you to believe, you are not obliged to hate or resent your parents only because they couldn't (mentally or socially or finantially or whatever) give you a textbook upbringing, and you don't have to feel like suffering and therapy is your destined chore either is my point. You are the only person who will be with yourself until the day you die so don't assume that your discomfort or unhappiness to adapt to others' delusions is the only way out or the only right way. You should do what makes you ultimately happy be it therapy or just acknowledging and moving on because you're a free adult.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT--I hope you say this shit to your paying clients, because the ones that didn't grow up in cages deserve to know you think being negatively impacted by parental abuse once they reach adulthood is their choice and they just need to choose not to have issues and stop going to therapy. Jfc.

--my mom and her brothers got raped by their dad and she and her eldest brother drank themselves to death.

[(Anonymous)]

Fucking this, holy shit, talk about privilege. Fucking Christ, I hope this "therapist" loses their job and ends up destitute in retail for awhile to grow some actual fucking empathy.

[(Anonymous)]

I wish you the same

[(Anonymous)]

Are you dumb or retarded? I am saying that they're not their upbringing. They're able to get out of this, be it through therapy or other means. If they seek a therapist, fine, they want to grow out of it through therapy. All I am saying is that it's fine too if they get over it in other ways, but obviously they should get over it? People should be happy - is it a difficult concept?

[(Anonymous)]

-- I really shouldn't say what I've gone through or what I've suffered in my undergraduation because privileged folks assumed that I had! to! go! to! therapy because I wasn't as privileged as they were lol. Thankfully things got better but I don't think everyone lives in a perfect world and don't assume everyone does or can at a given time but clearly you don't know where I am coming from.

[(Anonymous)]

And also, sorry for the "are you dumb or retarded" if you're not trolling about your experiences. (I would never say my experiences like this on the internet, so I assume the worst.) I've seen people say worst things here, like "Fucking this, holy shit, talk about privilege. Fucking Christ, I hope this "therapist" loses their job and ends up destitute in retail for awhile to grow some actual fucking empathy.", so I just decided to be my worst self for a while.

[(Anonymous)]

Well so I had to distance myself and cool down to see what was wrong. Obviously I was talking from my own POV - as I HAD said at first, I heard things like "wow this is bad go to therapy" way too much and I actually heard I'd have to go to therapy forever by people ("respectable" practicing therapists I should say) that wouldn't bother being open and humane about it like a fucking decent human being. In other words they were worse than my so-called abusive parent and never gave a fuck to the harm they did to me only because I believed them. So I acknowledge that just like there are abusive parents there's shitty therapy too and in the end therapy is just a path to an end but you can choose others. I was speaking from my own place and experiences which obviously... Aren't shared by many people. Sorry if I came across as saying you're weak if you go to therapy really (it's odd to me so I didn't think it might be read as such). Even because, guess what, I was talking about how I felt about a movie and people jumped shark

[(Anonymous)]

As someone whose parents did their best and didn't abuse me but still royally fucked me up emotionally which I'm very much in therapy for to try and undo as an adult--fuck you.

[(Anonymous)]

Great for you, all I am saying is you shouldn't feel that you're obliged to it unlike some therapists want you to believe so you will pay them.

[(Anonymous)]

Says the therapist who shouldn't be paid because they're so bad they should lose their license and never go near another human being again.

[(Anonymous)]

SHE. DIDN'T. CARE. ABOUT. RAPUNZEL. SHE CARED ABOUT THE FUCKING HAIR, WHICH IS WHY ALL HER AFFECTION IS SHOWN AT THE HAIR. RAPUNZEL WAS ISOLATED BECAUSE GOTHEL DIDN'T WANT ANYONE A. FINDING THE KIDNAPPED PRINCESS AND B. HAVING TO SHARE OR OTHERWISE LOSE HER FUCKING FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH AND BEAUTY.

Note how she acts when Rapunzel is happy in the outside world, with Flynn. She berates her, trashes her choices, and schemes to have her assaulted to drive her back to the fucking tower. I wish I knew who you were so I could report this, because this is alarming that you look at an overt abuser with 0 care towards the happiness of her kid, even in fiction, and go, "Yeah she cares and isn't that bad!"

[(Anonymous)]

No, she didn't. And this is a fictional story. And yet some privileged folks will draw parallels to reality that aren't true just to guilt-trip parents (i.e. you had children so you could benefit finantially, etc.). Obviously I'm not saying "oh yes kidnapping kids IRL is great!". Why do people pretend to be dense when other say stuff they don't like hearing? (rhetoric question.)

Funny that F!S has this kind of extremist opinion about fiction while still going on and on about how young people shouldn't be bothered by fictional ephebophilia

[(Anonymous)]

False comparison.

If you said you had a kink about mothers abusing daughters, I'd leave you alone. (I'd be grossed out, but would mind my own business). But when you analyze a situation exactly for what it is and then try to downplay the bad parts of it, that's something entirely different.

Nobody is saying that grown adults wanting to fuck teenagers is NBD. Why? Because that is not a good thing to normalize in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

For someone who preaches about understanding and kindness, you are shit at empathy. When you miss out on eighteen years of your life because somebody is using and abusing you, and you don't know any better, YES IT IS THAT BAD.

Seriously. Cut the "it wasn't that bad" bullshit. It's offensive, it's insulting, it's dismissive, and it's why abused people stay where they are for way too long. They don't feel supported, and often feel like they are the problem in their own abusive situation. I really hope you do not say this to people, because if you do, you are contributing to the problem.

If this were real life, I'd be shocked if Rapunzel turned out half as sane or kind, with few lasting effects of the abuse. If things didn't seem so bad to you, it's because Disney loves sugarcoating even the worst shit and wrapping it up in a bow, accompanied by music.

If you are a troll, good job. You've successfully pissed me off and thoroughly disgusted me.

[(Anonymous)]

Some people will miss way more than 18 because of privileged mfs, though - some people are unfairly put in jail or killed, some people are actual slaves, some ... The world is full of shit people. And many shit people are hella privileged.

I'm not saying one abuse justifies another. All I am saying is that privileged mfs love guilt-tripping parents who can't raise their children in the best conditions, all the while being way worse than said parents - who are often trying their best - to random people on the street (or their own employees etc). So, such privileged mfs can eat their own shit. With due respect.

Yes, obviously this wasn't the case for this character - do I have to say it out loud like it isn't obvious? This character doesn't even exist, and couldn't possibly exist because there is no magical princess hair in real life.

This is what you all got from what I said and I don't get why: I'd never tell someone, oh no, please suffer forever in the hands of an abusive parent/partner (well duh?). But I am really candid. People sometimes act like shitty parenting is the worst disgrace that could ever happen in one's life. Sometimes it is, and sometimes (often) it isn't, because many other circumstances can fuck you up badly for much longer than 18 years. Distinguishing between well-intentioned parents who can't even take proper care of themselves and psychopaths and kidnappers is pretty important instead of throwing them all in the "abusive / narcisistic + poor" box (because many rich abusive parents aren't ever caught or called out - they're just doing what's needed for the family! aww.).

What I said was exactly the opposite, fuck it - I said they shouldn't feel that they're condemned by their upbringing. Because THEY AREN'T. And that's what shitty people want us to believe. "You had a weird parent 20 years ago? Damn, you're screwed forever, your upbringing wasn't as great as I consider mine to be therefore your worldview is invalid lol maybe your emotions are mistaken because you don't love your parent like I do, huh. Go to therapy". Obviously all I'm saying is that people should be more "yeah, okay, this parent failed in this and did well in that" instead of OH NO ABUSIVE PARENTS SUCK!!! (and a lot of people who get thrown in this box were genuinely trying their best and weren't helped).

But morally righteous fake woke internet discourse is founded by privileged mfs anyway, who am I to say shit lol? I'm saying this to whoever feels like thinking. Most people won't and I know it.

[(Anonymous)]

You implied that anyone who gets therapy isn't an adult or big enough to just move on, you dipshit. Say you're ableist without saying you're ableist.

We're not fake woke, you're just high off your own power over people's mental states. You want privilege? Look in the fucking mirror. You started saying Rapunzel didn't have it that bad despite being in a gilded cage which is still a fucking cage, you waste of air.

[(Anonymous)]

(And before anyone says anything, I am saying this PRECISELY because I work not as a therapist but in children welfare and I keep seeing professionals trashtalking parents who have issues with alcohol or are just too poor to take proper care of their children but love them, but ignoring cases where there's a suspicion of sexual abuse because they're too hard to investigate/deal with. I KNOW how easy it is to trashtalk "abusive" parents who try their best and free actual "human" trash :) )

[(Anonymous)]

Bruh she had Rapunzel literally in chains to force her along with her at one point

[(Anonymous)]

This was towards the end of the movie, though, where she is downright abusive. Before, she was just a shitty mother. The assumption that every shitty mother will end up to be downright abusive is the one the movie makes, or some of watchers do, that I don't agree with. But I like the movie. My point exactly.

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INZGW13GpC0

Ah yes. Just "shitty mother." Shitty mothers purposely tear down their daughters, after all, so they have 0 confidence.

Also, love how you ignored she kidnapped a baby to remain young. I'm pretty sure no one is going to assume all shitty mothers are kidnappers, but go off and suck your own proverbial dick.

[(Anonymous)]

Gothel is abusive. The entire movie. Period. You are suggesting one type of abuse is less valid than the other, or possibly not valid at all. This is one of the things we take issue with.

Just stop.