[ SECRET POST #1979 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1979 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Friending Meme if people want to add each other on DW!

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 115 secrets from Secret Submission Post #283.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. http://i.imgur.com/0ypAJ.png

[insanenoodlyguy]

That's the think about a kink/fetish. You take what you can get sometimes.

Thankfully for you, there's a whole lotta that that isn't dressed up fanfic!

Even with Vampires if that's what you want!

[insanenoodlyguy]

Thing. Goddammit. Thought that typo makes a nice little sentence all it's own, doesn't it?

[sparklywalls]

I wouldn't know from personal experience but I see a lot of people saying it isn't a very good or even accurate depiction of a BDSM based relationship. So whatever floats your boat, but the impression I get is there's apparently better out there.

[(Anonymous)]

It really, really isn't. It's like a fourteen year old's interpretation of all the worst stereotypes about BDSM.

[(Anonymous)]

There's way better het BDSM out there. Seriously. /trying not to judge you

[ooh_mrdarcy]

It was less BDSM and more abuse/control. That said, better porn exists.
You could start by going through archiveofourown.org or kink-memes.

[(Anonymous)]

I was about to say. This book is about the last place I'd go to look for an accurate representation of BDSM relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

That author has no idea what a healthy top's mindset is like. The male lead was a mass of control issues and not normal- that was pointed out in the book itself.

When people read this book and say they seek "a BDSM relationship" it pisses me off because it's not really BDSM they want, it's an abusive relationship and a fairy-tale ending involving some crude aspects of BDSM on the way.

[chocorate]

More like you have a thing for abusive relationships and creepy men but there's fic for that.

[izzyb]

I haven't read it yet, but I do understand the idea of things that aren't exactly written well being hot as shit.

I have read many a BDSM story that were not healthy representations of a relationship, but were still hot.

However, I do agree that there are better stories out there, based on the little I've seen of this novel.

[(Anonymous)]

You and a million of dry moms out there.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you just have a kink/fetish for poor writing and flimsy characterization and unrealistic BDSM depictions.

[(Anonymous)]

Lol. Accurate.

[velvet_mace]

Okay, and seriously, what's wrong with that?

We have that in the slash community, too. Most depictions are not accurate BDSM. But accurate BDSM isn't the kink.

Laughing and sneering at people's kinks is douchebag behavior.

[(Anonymous)]

As a dom hearing this kind of thing really, really creeps me out because I've run into waaaaay too many people believing that abusive relationship dynamics = neat gateway BDSM sexytimes.

And no, that is absolutely NOT what a healthy dom should behave like, and I'd even go so far as to say that this isn't even what a dom should behave like in porn if it's meant to be BDSM. If this was abuse porn, cool. Just get out of my kink.

[velvet_mace]

Fandom isn't very good at providing Het BDSM, especially with a male dom, though even the other way around. There are some very vocal fans who seem to see it as their job to kinkshame it out of existence. Thankfully it can be found in other places. I'm glad you found a book to scratch the itch.

[majorshipper]

Speaking to the M/M to M/F thing, I've often found that a kink involving the type of pairing you're not used to is hotter than one with a pairing you are used to.

IDK about that book, but I've read some fantastic BDSM, which is my top kink, pretty much. Unfortunately, not very much het BDSM. :/ It sucks that the ration of het kinks to slash kinks is so shitty.

[elialshadowpine]

Smart Bitches, Trashy Books did a call for recommendations for other stuff for folks who liked 50 Shades, although it's for novellas: http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/blog/gs-vs.-sta-erotic-novellas

If you look for "if you like 50 shades you'll like" on Google you'll come up with lots of different recommendations lists. She's not always listed but Eden Bradley does some really excellent BDSM fiction, and she has personal experience within the community, so the consent is definitely important.

I will say that if you're interested in pursuing BDSM in your real life, do a lot more research and don't use 50 Shades as a guide. There are some things that are accurate, but a lot that's not, much that's misrepresented, and there are plenty of awful doms in the community who will take advantage of somebody who doesn't know the importance of consent. They are unfortunately not uncommon in the community, although they are little talked about. I actually wrote a post about 50 Shades and the propensity of abusive doms in the kink community.

[(Anonymous)]

I kinda relate, OP, my proclivity towards it was basically confirmed in watching "Secretary".

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe it's because, like you said, you've read almost no het BDSM? So when you finally read some, regardless of your opinion of the story itself, you realize how much the idea appeals to you. I'm guessing it's as simple as that.

[(Anonymous)]

I found out today that my Boss is reading it. He hates Twilight. I'm not sure if I should tell him or...?

[(Anonymous)]

Please please don't use this book for a basis of a bdsm relationship. It is horribly done and makes me squirm. I honestly think it's very dangerous for fans of this book who use this at a starting point to enter into a bdsm relationship. Research, talk with other people, wiki shit but don't jump into anything. There are a lot of creeper doms/dommes out there looking to take advantage of new subs that don't know what exactly they are getting into.

I'm taking this way too seriously I know.

[harp]

F!S to the rescue, anon!
I recommend "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty". Say what you will about the author, but that trilogy is... well. Give it a try. It doesn't matter what starts you off, what matters is where you go from there. At least you discovered it.

Seriously, though, anon, I beg you to pick up The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty and give it a try, at least the first three chapters of book one. It's much more classy and if it is messed up, it's messed up in a way that's safer because it's not imitate-able in the way that SoG is. That is to say, it's beyond common sense that it's meant to be just fantasy from the jump (what with the main character being who she is).

[(Anonymous)]

I am baffled why people think saying 'well it's a crap book' is supposed to affect the fact that it hit OP's kink. How does this in any way impact something the OP already feels? They didn't say "I have a BDSM kink, should I try this book?" they said "I read this book and oh crap it hit my kink."

geez, people.