[ SECRET POST #2080 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2080 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #297.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

15. http://i.imgur.com/j0U0z.png

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah... unless the person asked for it, your critique probably came out of left field. Grammatical errors are unbiased corrections, so that's not really a problem. But an "obvious plothole"? That's more subjective.

That person might have overreacted, but if you keep going up to people giving them critique and they're not asking for it, don't be surprised when it's ignored or not taken gratefully.

[forgottenjester]

Not going to touch the autism thing.

If I were you I would document all of her attempts to harass you and her friends' attempts as well. Then I would send it to the admin to see if they could IP ban all of them.

That said, IP bans don't work for the truly dedicated.

I don't know if you should stay or not. Only you can decide if you want to deal with her vitriol. Whatever you decide, don't do it for any other reason than for yourself. If you want to stay because she doesn't bother you more than the enjoyment you get out of the place, stay. If she proves to be too much for her and you want to leave, then leave. Don't make a decision for reasons like other than what is directly related to you and your wellbeing.

Another option, if you want to consider it, is to make a new account and identity. Make sure it has absolutely no connection to your old account though. If it does and she's dedicated she will notice and start harassing you again.

I wish you peace with whatever you decide. Good luck.

[brightblueink]

I'm going to completely disagree with the person above me the first anon (the other person's fine, sorry!). I don't think you did anything wrong, so stand your ground, I say. If she's harassing you because you gave her crit, she's in the wrong, not you.

People have to get that if you put your work out there, people are going to criticize it. If you can't deal with that, then keep your fanfic to yourself or only show your friends. Once something's out there, it's free for commentary, both good and bad.

[tamabonotchi]

I fully stand behind you, OP. The person is going out of their way to continually harass you long after one critique is pretty ridiculous. Gather the evidence of harassment to get her IP banned- and possibly tell people how they're still going after you.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't give in and leave the forum. That's what the person wants and they'll only see it as a victory. It'll just reinforce to them that bad behaviour will be rewarded.

The person has been blocked, yes? Each time they try and go around the block, report it to the admin. Do the same to her friends. Don't even try talking to them. Just ignore them, block them and report it to admin. Hopefully admin will realize that this person is too much trouble and IP ban them.

The big thing is to ignore them (which, I admit can be hard at times). Badly behaved people strive for attention. They view any type of attention as a good thing. Ignoring them will infuriate them but eventually they'll go away (usually when someone else gives them the attention they desire).

[(Anonymous)]

You should get your shit together and realize that autism is a real thing that some people really have and are really affected by, that's what you should do.

God, I hate when people go "I don't believe in X disorder because some people who claim to have it were meeeeeean to me!" Fuck you. Don't react to an ass by being an even bigger ass. Autism isn't an excuse to be a dick... and neither is your simpering disbelief.

[(Anonymous)]

How is BlackJackRocket these days?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm only going to touch on the autism thing.

I believe people when they say they have autism. I just don't let them use it as an excuse for their behavior. I'd believe someone if they said they were depressed or bipolar or suicidal, too. It might be the reason, but it's still not an excuse for doing shitty things. People should be held accountable for their actions.

[(Anonymous)]

And here I was thinking I was the only one who didn't believe the autism hype.

[(Anonymous)]

I support you.

I can't believe people on the internet who say they have autism. They just feel like special snowflakes, but I do believe they are just attention whores who need attention from something, not caring if they've got to make a scandal out of nothing as in your case. I do believe, though, that you shouldn't abandon the forum. I know harassing could get worst, but I hope you do endure to show them how mistaken, immature and childish they are.

Again, I support you a lot. I have a brother with autism (tho his case isn't as several as others) and he doesn't go saying "hey i'm autistic!!" online. That's why whoever plays the autism card are just pretentious and pathethic people for me. Anyway, I hope you do endure this, please.

(Sorry if there are mistakes, english isn't my native language)

[sensualcoco.livejournal.com]

I'd show the moderators what kinds of harassing messages I was getting and wait for them to get an IP ban.

There's no way I'd give up on a forum I liked just because one person decided to be a dickhead.

[velvet_mace]

This is why I don't give unsolicited concrit. Not everyone wants it and some people are fucking insane. Most importantly, crafting concrit that will make a difference requires a ton of work, so why waste time if you don't know for sure that the person you are doing it for wants it.

Live and learn, anon. If you love giving out concrit, there are people who really want you to give it to them -- just go to a main community and offer.

[(Anonymous)]

That sucks, OP. I've gotten unwanted conccrit before, and I either say, "Yeah, you're right, this needs to be changed" or "No, I don't agree with you because I feel that blah blah blah." People are such wankers sometimes.

Autistic people can't be assholes?

[(Anonymous)]

Chris-Chan. Just Chris-chan.

A racist, sexist, homophobic, autistic asshole. You still gonna defend an autistic man when he's harassing women and yelling at black children?

[ecoerrante]

First and foremost, what this person is doing it wrong, and disgusting. I don't think anyone can honestly say that what she's doing is right.

However, what you need to do really depends on the situation. If the forum as a whole isn't really open to the idea of concrit [which may not have anything to do with their rules - it wouldn't be the first time something has been 'okay' as far as rules go, and frowned on socially], then you might be better off moving some place that's more open to concrit.

On the other hand, if that's not the case then...well. It really depends on how much you really want to keep dealing with this girl. If you think putting up with her shit it worth staying on the forum, then stay. If it's not, then I'd say find somewhere else, and give the friends on that forum you want to keep in touch with an email/screen name and go.

[unicornherds]

Did you honestly feel the need to absolutely add the whole "I don't believe autistic people exist"? I mean, the rest of your secret is on the up and up and I'd probably be willing to give you advice or whatever if not for that part. Now I just think you're an asshole and don't want to help you out.

I mean seriously.

[(Anonymous)]

both of you are assholes

her for harassing you and you for being an ableist piece of shit

the end

[stainless]

Fandom very often takes concrit VERY badly. I came to fandom from writing original fiction, and what in that world passes for very mild, friendly criticism gets "BUT WE'RE ONLY HERE TO HAVE FUN, NITPICKY BASHER! WHAT IS WROOOOOOONG WITH YOU?!?!/1?!?!?!??!??!`DMKSLDK" in fandom circles.

It's kind of a shame, but it's a cultural difference. The drama you got is inexcusable, of course, but the general phenomenon of people misunderstanding concrit as some form of insult is very common in fandom. So I'd say you probably did commit a faux pas (though I wish fandom culture treated concrit more like origfic circles do), but that the psychodrama is an overreaction in any case.

I also think autism does not excuse bad behavior. If someone were having some sort of meltdown or misunderstanding of social cues (like, say, taking your comment as an attack rather than advice due to not being able to detect tone, maybe), and they later apologized classily and probably also publicly, I might buy "I'm on the spectrum, and sometimes I don't understand what people mean. I flew off the handle because I misinterpreted _________."

But someone acting as though they get a pass to act horrible because they're on the spectrum? Whether they're self-diagnosed or have reams of paper from doctors, that's not on.

[nyxelestia]

...and this is definitely one of the reasons why I won't be going to a psychologist to confirm or deny all my friends and family's suspicions that I have some mild form of autism any time soon. Or ever, really. I'd rather any asshole-ish behavior I still exhibit be called out and corrected rather than being coddled or letting shit like this happen.

Stand your ground, OP. If they weren't asking for critique, I can buy them ignoring you or asking you to not do it again/not bother in the future. I don't like it and I admittedly have a rather low view of people who do that, but hey, some people don't like it and that's totally their prerogative. But no matter how much you hate concrit, a three-page flame is absolutely an overreaction, and trying to claim that you can't control yourself, especially in a context entirely dependent on written correspondence, is bullshit. I'll admit, it's highly doubtful that they'll get IP banned, but they will eventually get bored, and you absolutely shouldn't take shit from anyone, no matter their neurological wiring.

As a side note...I'm not going to pretend this is in any way standard, typical, or the "right way" to react, but in my experience, most people who actually have some form of atypical wiring upstairs tended to appreciate people calling them out on their behavior and correcting it/offering advice, so long as everyone is polite about it. While I've known people who genuinely had one condition or another who blew up at anyone who tried to point out some behavior as being off or inadvisable no matter how nice or polite they were, most of the time they were just assholes trying to play the special snowflake card.

[dragonimp]

OP, I think you would have gotten many more helpful comments if you hadn't included that bit about autism. I get that you were venting but - really bad tactical move.

[(Anonymous)]

You should leave the internet forever because you're a shitty human being with no sympathy for others. And you don't even have an "excuse".

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with you, OP. It's at the stage where I roll my eyes when someone claims that they have some kind of disorder that they think excuses them from acting like an asshole. That said, I've observed over time that people who genuinely have a disorder are more likely to take care over what they post and not use it as a shield to hide behind.

But reactions like you are describing are why, if I'm going to give concrit or air an opinion that may be against the norm, I will either go anon or use a sockpuppet.

I'll agree with the above commenters that said you should document everything they do with a view to hopefully getting them banned.

Good luck!

This is why...

[(Anonymous)]

This is why folks should take all con-crit with a huge grain of salt.It's not always 100% good, or often the right advice to take.

This is also why people giving con-crit should realize that they may not be taken seriously and/or ignored. Even if you conduct yourself in a polite, and helpful manner.

It's an opinion, on the internet, and both parties can take it or leave it.

Real good con-crit is hard to find....

[(Anonymous)]

It really is!

Most of the time people use con-crit to be an asshole to an author. It's barely helpful, and very often wrong.

Couple that with the arrogance of youth, and reality TV making things like manners, respect, and conversation a thing of the past and well...

...we get the state of fanfic crit today.