[ SECRET POST #2565 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2565 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















08. [SPOILERS for Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan]



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09. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]
http://i.imgur.com/Rnp3pTB.png
[gore in image]


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10. [SPOILERS for American Horror Story]



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11. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]



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12. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]
http://i.imgur.com/d4tbog4.png
(OP requested link)


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13. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]




















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #366.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Not exactly the same and I'm sure I'll get shit about this but...

I met this woman at the local trail that everybody takes their dogs to and got to talking. We ended up taking our dogs there about the same time each evening and our dogs got along great, so we'd hang out and chat. And I was so excited because I had been in the area for about a year and had yet to make any friends, and particularly any friends in my age and interest group. Then she kind of disappeared for about a month, when she came back she told me about how she and her husband had volunteered with their church to go on a Mission in South Africa and help the communities there build churches and hand out Bibles and whatnot. So disappointed. I thought I finally found someone cool to hang out with!

I am pretty anti-organized religion in general, but I can overlook that if you're an awesome person who lives your life and doesn't proselytize or try to tell people about your God, which was apparently not the type of Christian she was. I am so very anti-Mission and just...ugh, could not get over that. We still chatted at the trails and stuff, but my hope of a budding friendship was smashed.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

I think your feelings are understandable. That sort of behavior strikes me as the most useless and arrogant form of white-savior complex. It's one thing if you want to go over there and dig wells or build schools or hospitals or whatever - then at least the people who live there are getting some actual benefit from the "mission workers" stroking their own egos about how virtuous they are... but just to proselytize? Yes, more sanctimonious cultural imperialism is exactly what the people whose country you're vacationing in need. -____-

tl;dr - I'm with you.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for understanding. Like I said, I get a lot of shit. But going over and only giving help to people because you're trying to convert them, never mind the whole racism issues that she brought up when talking about her Mission experience....sad to lose that opportunity but I guess she wasn't really who I thought she was anyway.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[iceyred]

So...before she went to South Africa you had no idea she was a Christian, but when she came back and told you about going to another country to do work she considered important and had no impact on you whatsoever, you think she's not good enough to be your friend?

You literally decided not to be her friend because she went and talked to some people about God? You are so anti-religion that someone doing something that has no affect on you is enough to convince you to drop them?

Sounds like she missed an opportunity to hang out with a prejudiced jerk. Maybe that's why you have no friends.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. Thanks a lot for that. I'm having a really rough day and your message is actually making me fucking cry. Thanks. That's really what I needed. For you to jump to fucking conclusions and tell me I don't deserve any friends.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

...Wow.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe that's why you have no friends.

Whoa, okay. Turn it down a notch.

I would never judge someone on the basis of being a missionary either, but my guess is the OP has reason to believe it was less just about building houses and reaching out to those who wanted to be reached out to on a spiritual level, and more about trying to push religion onto others. I don't know, I'm not the OP, and if there isn't any reason to believe that... I'd give the friend a second chance. But I'm guessing the OP has other reasons to have come to that conclusion.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

There are a lot of reasons to be against organized religion, particularly if you happen to be a queer person, a person who likes the environment, a person who supports women's rights, or just a decent fucking person in general.

Just being religious doesn't necessarily make one a bad person. Being religious to the extent that you try to convert people and spread the inevitable hatred, marginalizing, and damage that comes along with it? Yeah, that's a problem. And OP was right to avoid and feel disappointed with the person in question.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[jaybie_jarrett]

Whoa...hey....that's really really harsh

and this is speaking as someone who's religious and has had family members go to a country and build houses for people on a mission...it really isn't necessary to tear down the OP and make them feel scummy. That's like SJW behavior.

"Maybe that's why you have no friends."

This was really crossing the line there. I mean...just. I'd be one thing if they were saying things like that the person was a scumbag and really shitty person. (though I don't really think nastiness like that is still called for because that kind of thing can hurt a person) But they were really just saying that they felt uncomfortable around the person and don't feel like they're suited to be close friends with the person. They did say that they still talked to them so they're not being hateful TO the person. But people are allowed to not feel as close or comfortable with someone whose beliefs sharply oppose theirs. They shouldn't be an ass about it but they're allowed to have that feeling.


Just today I felt uncomfortable when I blog I normally liked re-blogged from a blog that said something I really didn't agree with . I guess that makes me a prejudiced asshole too

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[vethica]

Hey

did you know

you can be pro-religion and still hate it when people try to convert other people

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[fingalsanteater]

Have to stick up for OP on this one.

If I found out someone was very into organized religion and the type of missionary work OP was describing, it'd turn me off being their friend too just because I know we'd likely have very little in common and have vastly differing values and world views. It has nothing to do with being prejudiced and everything to do with wanting to surround myself with people who will likely share the same values as I do.

This sounds like it was the case for the OP.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

For what it's worth, I'm on your side on this one. I'm anti-organized religion myself, but it sounds like OP has some sort of automatic revulsion to religious people, even decent ones. Pretty stupid.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[charming_stranger]

That's not a very loving thing to say.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe that's why many people hate assholish "practicing Catholics like you. Jesus would be so proud of you.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[caerbannog]

No, not cool. Not everyone wants to be friends with someone who actively pushes their religions on others, especially those in potentially vulnerable situations. It doesn't matter if it's in your religions rules to convert people, if AYRT is not comfortable with that they're allowed to skip out on being friends with a person and they're allowed to be sad that the person's religious actions conflict with AYRT.

Your last line is completely unnecessary and borderline bullying. It's that kind of behaviour in addition to the converting obsession that would have me steer clear of you as well AYRT's dog walker person.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

As a Christian myself I find the way you talk to this person, and the way you judge this person for the choice s/he has made to be entirely unacceptable. S/he has the innate human right to want to associate with anyone s/he want's for any reason. To bully and shame him/her for this is 1. so very unchristian and 2. In some small way proving his/her point about scummy tactics our people have used against non-Christians.

And ok, you're going to say "But s/he was being disrespectful of our faith" well, for one I do not agree, but another more pressing point would be: So what! s/he is not the romans with their lions. s/he is someone who finds an aspect of our faith uncomfortable. Your Christian duty in this scenario is to kindly and respectfully show him/her that we are better than her perception of us. A duty you have entirely failed at.

TL;DR you might want to check your cheeks hinge, because it's not turning the way it's supposed to.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

You and chardmonster are making me want to back the fuck away from "proud Catholics" with how vile you are being.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Well, you're a terrible Christian.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[lunabee34]

I can understand this.

My grandmother buys Gideon Bibles in all of our names as Christmas presents. Besides the fact that I think it's tacky to give charitable gifts in people's names if they are not charities the giftee supports, I've seen what a college campus looks like after the Gideons have hit it (Bibles in every trashcan, on the floor in every classroom and bathroom). It's such a waste of money. I have much less of a problem with mission work that incorporates meeting the physical needs of people: obtaining access to clean water, healthcare etc.

I was raised Evangelical Protestant and a great majority of the mission work coming out of that tradition focuses on going to other countries and trying to convert people who are already Christian (Catholic) to "real" Christianity, which I find ignorant and deeply annoying.

I also think a lot of mission work tends to have unfortunate colonial and paternalistic overtones.

Mission work was also a kind of approved vacation or way to go abroad for people who otherwise wouldn't have that chance in the church I grew up in. You couldn't go to Cozumel on spring break, but going to Mexico for mission work was acceptable.

I am not anti-religion; I think faith is a valuable part of many people's lives. But mission work makes me deeply uncomfortable.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I know organized religion has it's problems, but a lot of the sites where they build churches and stuff are for already-existing Christian communities. So the people there already want a church and Christians from another area are helping them build it, which isn't really bad and it's often how churches spread in the U.S. too. I don't think she's pushing religion on people who don't want it, but I may be wrong.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good point that I didn't think of.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[scrubber]

Yeeaaaaaah, until we know more details on how this church was built, I don't really judge the woman either way. As far as I know right now, they were going to build a church anyway and the missionaries just helped. And then who cares.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

That's reasonable, IMO. Missions like that seem to be more about the people going on them than the people supposedly being ministered to. It occurs to me that if they really wanted to help, they'd take all the money they were going to spend on airfare, Bibles and church-building and send it so people could buy food, textbooks and build schools, instead.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with you 100%, and iceyred can go fuck themselves.

Re: Finding out people you like are scumbags

[caerbannog]

Sorry to hear that anon. If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't bother being friends with someone who's priorities are "convert first, help later". Especially since missionary is one of my least favourite converting methods*.

I hope you have some luck with finding friends elsewhere. Perhaps you can try more recreational groups?


*Withholding help, food, shelter, useful buildings, whathaveyou over someone's head unless they do the person's religious things. That's lipcurling manipulative behaviour.