[ SECRET POST #4190 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4190 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 77 secrets from Secret Submission Post #600.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Ew. That's how you rationalize cheating to yourself then? That you "just can't help it"? Stop dating people.

[(Anonymous)]

Holy shit, do you think maybe this is why it's a secret posted to a secrets community???

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Why would you expect that to change someone's reaction to it?

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Where did I say I expected that to change someone's reaction to it?

[feotakahari]

This community is not immune to “your secret is bad and you should feel bad,” nor should it be.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

I mean... sure, you can argue that shaming people for their secrets the right of this community. I guess. If you want.

[tabaqui]

No? They said a cheating trope is a version of a 'just can't help it' trope, not that's how they rationalize anything.

[(Anonymous)]

They say that (1) they conceptualize fictional infidelity as "just can't help it" and (2) they sympathize with fictional infidelity because they've cheated.

It's not that big of a leap to suspect that they might also apply "just can't help it" to their own life and circumstances.

[tabaqui]

Sure, you could go there. But you'd be incorrect.

[(Anonymous)]

Why are people in this comm so over the top about cheating? lol

Like yeah, cheating is not nice to do, but they act like it's akin to rape and murder or something. It's this insane visceral reaction in this community that seems so disproportionate to the crime whenever the topic comes up.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

idgi either

[(Anonymous)]

Baffles me too anon. It's definitely bad, it absolutely makes sense for it to be a relationship-killing thing, but sheesh.

Then again, I've only ever been in poly relationships where we could and did talk to each other if we ended up interested in someone else, and I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic anyway. So it's entirely possible my perspective is a bit broken.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know, I'm monogamous and I've never cheated, but I don't think cheating is inherently malicious, it really can just be a stupid impulse mistake. And some relationships are already so toxic or unhealthy that cheating isn't the real problem. And though cheating in a non-toxic relationship is surely a hurtful breach of trust that can be fatal to a relationship, it also can be something that relationships work through and forgive and move on from. Cheating is never right but there are varying levels for how wrong it can be, imo.

Then again, I only exist because my mom cheated on her husband, so maybe my perspective is broken, too. lol

[(Anonymous)]

Seriously! It's weird.

[(Anonymous)]

In my experience people who belittle cheating tend to be cheaters themselves, but *shrug*

I think it's completely fair to demonize the act of betraying the trust of a loved one. Bold stance, I know. Just because it's technically legal doesn't make it any less traumatizing.

[(Anonymous)]

You sure seem to be taking this personally.

[(Anonymous)]

"It's this insane visceral reaction in this community that seems so disproportionate to the crime whenever the topic comes up."

Probably because a lot of people are in relationships and it's a real worry. (As opposed to alien invasion or summat.)

[(Anonymous)]

Shockingly, people are allowed to be mad/upset about things that are less bad than murder. Cheating isn't the worst thing you can do to someone, but it's still REALLY fucking shitty and many people have first- or second-hand experiences with that crap.

[(Anonymous)]

OR they can find someone who is okay with a polyamorous relationship, so OP can fuck whoever they want without hurting their partner. There are options for sluts. Cheating isn't one of them.

[(Anonymous)]

Yikes.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Not a fan of the slut-shaming, but I agree.

[(Anonymous)]

Agree that cheating is bad but your perspective of polyamorous relationships is so gross I feel bad agreeing with you.

go fuck yourself anon

[(Anonymous)]

It's still possible to cheat in a poly relationship. It all comes down till wether it's sneaking behind the other partners backs ( that's cheating) or informed and consensual ( not cheating).

[(Anonymous)]

agreed. if you're too afraid to take responsibility in your relationship and communicate with your partner when something is wrong like an adult, then you shouldn't be in that relationship.