[ SECRET POST #1719 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1719 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[ link for porny ]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 11 pages, 256 secrets from Secret Submission Post #246.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

04. http://i56.tinypic.com/wagewx.jpg

[starshipblues.livejournal.com]

Well, it all depends on how you phrase it, I suppose. There is a difference between "Let's go exercise together, it'll be fun!" and "You all should really exercise." Personally, I think if its something you like to do, you should have no problems with inviting your friends to do it with you, but as always, use tact.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I absolutely don't think anyone who encourages exercise is a "fat hater" but there really may not be a good way to get people to exercise, even if they're your friends. Some people are just going to take it wrong, fairly or unfairly.

And your friends probably know they're out of shape, and know that exercise might help, and just... don't feel like dealing with it right now.

So, yeah, you have a point but there may be no good answer here.

[cure-light.livejournal.com]

I'll be honest, I only started exercising in the first place because a really close friend invited me. It helps a lot if it's a friend who you can trust not be be judge you for being out of shape. It can be awkward trying to start exercising on your own.

Maybe just bring it up casually? Like, I dunno, "Hey, I'm gonna go for a walk/go to the gym/etc. Do you want to come with me?" and help them find a good way to ease into it?

It sounds like you care about your friends a lot. Good luck. :)

[rimuvxg.livejournal.com]

It's nice that you want your friends to be healthy, and I do think you're coming from a place of good will, but you have to understand it isn't always as simple as just up and exercising. There are a lot of underlying factors that might cause someone to be out of shape, and a lot more that might make exercising difficult or impossible (especially economic factors). Not to mention that every person has to make the decision that something is worthwhile for them. SO saying "exercise!" to a fat person is a bit daft, because they probably already thought of that.

That said, if you can find a subtle way to introduce the idea, that you'd love to have some company (whether it's IRL or just online support) and that people are welcome to join in *if they want to*, you might just be able to provide some people with the motivation to do something they had been wanting to do anyway, and extra motivation for you to keep it up. Just remember that you don't know the life story of every out of shape friend, and remember that they have the choice to do what they want with their own bodies, and you should be fine. :)

[countess-k.livejournal.com]

I always feel happy when someone points out the positive aspects of healthy eating, exercise and losing weight. I had the pleasure of experiencing that just recently and you're right OP, it does improve your life so much. I too wished more people would stop confusing constructive suggestions with fat hating. It's like you can no longer talk about this stuff without the -ist and -isms thrown at you.

[duae.livejournal.com]

I think the best you can do is talk/post in a personal journal about how much better you feel with exercising and your schedule and whatnot, and if you're close enough to any of your fandom friends to exercise together then maybe ask them to join you? But otherwise... It's like telling a smoker "to quit smoking, all you have to do is stop sucking on those cigarettes!" Pretty much every smoker already knows that, thankyouverymuch, and will be insulted if you mention it.

Sloth is a difficult addiction to break, it's impossible to go 'cold turkey' and it's very easy to come up with excuses why you should drive those two blocks instead of walking/biking, or why you have time to play on the computer but not do a few pushups, or find time to go to a public exercise place. It's painful, difficult, time consuming, and results take a long time to see. (And that's not even getting into the connection with exercise/weight/size that's so touchy, since while you can't accurately judge someone's fitness level by how they look, people sure as hell think you can)

And for some people? It may not be worth it. The hundreds of spent struggling through exercise to get and maintain a fitness level may not be worth ONE weekend of trotting around a con easily, as far as they see it.

[(Anonymous)]

Man, anon, you're making me want to get back into exercise. If only the exercise bike weren't in the shed :C

[(Anonymous)]

I know what you mean, OP. All of my IRL friends are fandom friends, and I'm by far the fittest - and not naturally. I am unquestionably a former fattie who requires constant maintenance.

Every so often, I invite them to come walking or jogging or hiking with me. No takers so far. I try not to nag them, or wax too much about how exercise clears my mind and helps me brainstorm awesome fanfic bunnies and raise my energy level for great productivity.

I remain hopeful that one day, someone will join me. :)

[seven-costanza.livejournal.com]

I know you're coming from a good place, OP, but this whole secret just sounds really condescending to me. You sound like that one member of a group of alcoholic friends who got sober and now thinks they know what's best for everyone else in the group.

[(Anonymous)]

I've really changed my lifestyle every since I started Nursing school. I used to be 160 at 5'1 but now I'm 110 so I know how hard it is to lose the weight. I worked hard for it but I find that some people are just...Full of excuses. I've tried getting my friends to work out with me plenty of times. They think gym is too expensive, I ask them to run with me to the park. They're too self conscious to run around the park, I tell them to do some aerobics at my house..And so on. Some people just have no motivation but I've pretty much gotten over it. Whatever, it's your life.

It just pisses me off that some of my friends whine about being extremely overweight and they do nothing about it while telling me how "lucky" I was to lose weight. Like fat is going to randomly evaporate into the air or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I know I should exercise. I really do. I don't get winded just walking around, but I live in a third story walk-up and I am winded by the time I get to my door if I'm carrying things (which I normally am). Also, my BMI is like 43.

But exercising is just so god damn mind numbingly boring.

[seiberwing.livejournal.com]

Do it casually. I'd probably exercise more if I had a friend to go with/work out with. By myself it's boring...and a little embarrassing. I don't think I could go to a gym by myself.

[(Anonymous)]

inb4 fat excuses

[tenmorehours.livejournal.com]

What, are you kidding? I would LOVE it if someone wanted to exercise with me! I've been wanting to get better about that sort of thing but it's a little lonely doing it on your own.

[(Anonymous)]

I've always been a bit fat but last year I promised myself never again. Me and my roommates decided to really step it up and we lost like 20 pounds last summer which was amazing. It really does boost your quality of life and all we did was play street hockey with friends and play squash (this thing makes you sweat like hell) and of course eating healthier (Our rule was no deep fried, only lean meat, no ramen).

I think what you're doing is good op, some people just need a bit of a push.

[baka-deshi.livejournal.com]

Here's how you do it: "hey, [name of person], do you want to go on a walk with me?" Pick a fun exercise that isn't super hard (for beginners) and invite them with you like it's no big deal. Telling someone "YOU SHOULD EXERCISE" isn't as helpful as making it fun and inviting them along.

[arostine.livejournal.com]

That's an adorable picture. Also if you chat casually with them, either bring up how good exercise is making you feel out of the blue OR, if they complain to you about feeling frequently tired or something similar, recommend exercise then. I don't think it's a horrible thing to suggest; just wait for the opportunity to arise in conversation rather than just springing it on them.

[omorka.livejournal.com]

JSYK, it's entirely possible to be pro-fitness without being a fat-shaming ass. Focus on the increase in endurance, for instance, which seems to be what you're actually talking about here. And understand that your friends may have different priorities than you do.

[rocks-not-dead.livejournal.com]

Well, actually, the real problem with people saying these things to complete strangers on the internet is that IT'S NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS!

If you say this to your friends who you actually know irl and do it in a decent, non-condescending way (also, off the internet would proabably still be a good idea), it might actually get somewhere. It's a different matter. The people who get mad at others for bringing it up usually aren't getting mad at their friends.

It's like, say if a random person came up to you on the street, you don't know them, you've never seen them, and they started judging you and telling you how to live your life, would you rather think that's completely normal, or would you think "Wtf, who the hell are you, you don't know a thing about me, go away."

[deciphre.livejournal.com]

I finally got out of gym classes (I'm just too awkward around people when it comes to exercise). I'm not overweight (around 120 pounds, 5'6), but I really feel that I'm missing something when I'm not exercising.

I'm sure there are other people like me around who wouldn't mind someone asking to exercise with them, but yeah, I see the problem with it.
Just be gentle about it?
("Hey, I'm heading to the gym, want to come with me?")

[tw-31988.livejournal.com]

this. everytime i bring this up i get so much hate.

[citizenjess.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, in before, "It worked for me, I don't know why it won't work for you guysssss." Oh, wait.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Well, you can wait until one of your friend grumbles about being out of breath, and then say, "I know how that feels. It used to happen to me, too, but my doctor suggested that I..." and tell your own story in a natural kind of way.

Now, for some people that won't work. Asthma and other lung diseases will have them out of breath even if the muscles are in shape. (See me at the top of a set of stairs.) But if you'll stop and listen to them explain, they'll appreciate the courtesy.

[westly-roanoke.livejournal.com]

Hey OP! Just be aware that a lot of people need to come upon their 'moment' at different times. My husband was trying to get me to lose weight, and I couldn't have given a rats ass, till I found something that REALLY worked for me. Sometimes people just need to discover things on their own way.

But, I totally agree with what a lot of people have said. Ask your friends out to play frisbee, or to go for a walk on the beach (If you have one!) or a walk through one of those towns with all those little stores. Don't say "Hey, let's go excercise!" Try "Let's go Play!"