[ SECRET POST #1892 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1892 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[How I Met Your Mother]


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03.
[White Collar]


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04.
[Smash]


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05.
[How I Met Your Mother]


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06.
[Revenge]


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07.
[The Hunger Games]


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08.
[Yu-Gi-Oh]


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09.
[White Collar]


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10.
[Obscurus Lupa, Subspecies]


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11.
[Castleville]


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12.
[Gintama]


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13.
[The Cat Returns]


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14.
[Mythbusters]


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15.
[Invasion of the Body Snatchers]


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16.
[Titanic]


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17.
[All Dogs go to Heaven]


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18.
[Hatoful Boyfriend]


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19.
[Pokemon]


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20.
[Phantom of the Opera]


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21.
[The Middle]


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22.
[life on mars]


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23.
[Scrubs]


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24.
[A Goofy Movie]


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25.
[Nerimon/Alex Day]


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26.
[Katie McGrath]


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27.
[Chuck]


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28.
[Top Chef Season 9]


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29.
[The Vampire Diaries]


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30.
[The Vampire Diaries]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #270.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

In other words, women are not their own person and we should question every "choice" they make (especially if it goes against with what I would do) .

Seriously though, where does the line get drawn? When do we stop questioning everything a woman does an trust that she knows what's best for herself? And who exactly gets to decide if a woman is doing something because she really wants to do it and not because she's forced to by society?

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

In other words, women are not their own person and we should question every "choice" they make

Yes. We aren't our own people when we're constantly bombarded with messages from society that say otherwise. As long as pressure from gender roles factor into our choices, they aren't truly ours, and we have to be aware of that.

We stop questioning everything we do when we are given the same rights and equal treatment and are free from oppressive expectations specifically tied to our gender. Until then? Yes, we examine our choices and why we're making them, and whether it's what we really want or what we think we want because that's what we've been told we're supposed to want.

I don't believe in shaming or browbeating any woman for her choices; just in encouraging all women to examine why they make the choices they do. There's nothing wrong with simply questioning why you're doing something. Hell, if more people thought before choosing, the world would be far less screwed up right now.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

DA

We aren't our own people when we're constantly bombarded with messages from society that say otherwise.

Everyone is bombarded with messages from society about how they should behave according to gender. That doesn't mean I'm not my own person, and you can shove that theory where the sun don't shine.

I'm ashamed to have you on my "side."

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

*shrug* And I'm ashamed to have you on mine if you don't even want to bother thinking about the choices you make and simply going with impulse. Call it even, I guess.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

You can stop right the fuck now.

How dare you imply that just because I consider myself my own person I make my choices without thought?!

Are only women who agree with you allowed to make their own choices?

Go fuck yourself.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

How dare you imply that just because I consider myself my own person I make my choices without thought?!

When you're substituting cursing, personal attacks, and circular logic for an actual argument, I'm inclined to believe that you choose without thinking, yes.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I have said two damn things to you.

"Everyone is bombarded with messages from society about how they should behave according to gender. That doesn't mean I'm not my own person,"

"How dare you imply that just because I consider myself my own person I make my choices without thought?!

Are only women who agree with you allowed to make their own choices?"

There is no circular logic as the two statements aren't even related to each other.

You on the other hand, how do you know that you're not just agreeing with that theory because someone else told you to? Afterall, you're the one saying no woman can freely make any choice.

And yeah, I am cursing and personally attacking you after you told me I was a lesser being who couldn't make her own choices. You got a problem with that or should I just point you towards the tone argument that you SJ types love so dearly? Or is it just not ladylike?

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Except peoples' urging for women to question their choices only ever comes out when it's choices they wouldn't make. No one ever tells a woman to question why she's making the choice to go to medical school. No one ever asks if that's what she really wants or if she's just rebelling against what society tells her she can't do without actually wanting it in the long term. It's only if she wants to be a housewife that society apparently has any influence at all because what self respecting woman would want to be a housewife? (Which ties into the fact that 'traditionally feminine' roles are sometimes denigrated by feminists as inherently lesser and not just as being treated lesser by society which helps no one.)

There are people who's choices are influenced by society but that doesn't mean women can't make their own choices and need to be led around by the nose by the 'enlightened women' that totally know what's best whether you like it or not.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

You've summed up everything I wanted to say about this beautifully. Society and culture influence everyone's choices, but that influence is just that - influence. It doesn't mean that an individual cannot make their own decision. And coming in to someone else's life and saying you're going to "enlighten" them about their choices for the greater good is incredibly patronizing.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

No one ever asks if that's what she really wants or if she's just rebelling against what society tells her she can't do without actually wanting it in the long term.

I'm not one of those people. When I say women should question their choices, I mean all of them. Whether she's going to med school because she really wants to or it's the family practice, or if she really wants to be a housewife and not doing it to please her ultra-conservative family. Every choice should be questioned no matter what it is.

I'm not even advocating others telling women what to do; only that all women should stop for a minute and examine why they are making the choices they are and ask themselves if it's what they really want and not part of someone else's expectation.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Why should only women do it then? Are men somehow above the influence of society? After all, there is just as much social pressure on a man to be masculine and fall into traditional male roles as there is on women and that has just as much effect on their choices. Narrowing it down to only women is basically just demeaning women as being less capable of making her own choices even though both genders are influenced by society telling them what they should and should not want to do.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

I think men also need to question their choices, yes. But not nearly to the same degree as women, because men don't have the same history of their opinions, identity, and autonomy being devalued the same way women have. Even the traditional male gender role grew out of not being "feminine" (and therefore weak).

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

See, what makes me dislike your argument is crap like the thread above where you're demeaning a woman for not following the same line of thinking as you. She disagrees with your point so clearly she doesn't think about her life or her choices or else she'd fall into line with your opinions like a good little girl.

That's what this comes down to and that's what the problem is with the line of thinking that all of a woman's choices need to be questioned. Whenever that choice doesn't line up with what you (general you here) think, that means she's obviously not questioning it enough and is influenced by society. The only way to be considered to have questioned yourself enough is to fall into line with the 'right' way of thinking.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I think men also need to question their choices, yes. But not nearly to the same degree as women, because men don't have the same history of their opinions, identity, and autonomy being devalued the same way women have.

Wow. Sorry, but speaking as a guy, that is horrible. You're unfairly putting most of the onus of questioning choices on women, and demeaning them for it if they don't go along with you, while if a guy were to make those same choices and not listen to you, you'd barely give them a meh.

It's sexist.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Even if there is an outside influence, who cares so long as it makes the individual happy with their decision? Everyone does things with expectations from other people.

If I go to med school instead of research because my family wants me to be an MD does that make my choice not valid?

No one exists in a vacuum; pressures are part of making any choice. Making a choice with my family in mind does not make it any less of my decision!

Making a decision in a void is not the only right way to make a decision. You are telling women how to make their choices.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

Even if there is an outside influence, who cares so long as it makes the individual happy with their decision?

That's my point, actually. I never said that women should never do what other people suggest for them; only that before making the decision, we should simply question whether this is what we want. Going to med school because that's what will make you happy and it just happens to be the family practice as well is a perfectly valid choice. Going to med school because it's the family practice whether you'll be happy with it or not...isn't. Making a decision in a void is impossible because, as you said, no one exists in a vacuum. But putting other people's happiness ahead of your own when it comes to important life choices like careers, marriage, whether to children, etc. is selling yourself short.

You are telling women how to make their choices.

No I'm not, actually. I'm just saying women should think about these choices and the context in which they're made, and consider their own happiness before anyone else's when deciding what they want to do.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

This! I'm not a traditional woman at all, but I hate seeing the shaming of traditional choices. I'm okay with judgement of them as bad ideas for other reasons, but "not enlightened enough" is really, well, bitchy.

Even up thread someone seemed to say if I didn't agree with her philosophy, then I didn't think about my decisions. That is just plain SICK and WRONG.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I am so sick of having other people question my every decision. And forget it being a women's rights issue, it's ALWAYS fellow women that I feel most persecuted by. Such as having all of my male coworkers tell me I should apply for a certain security position, then having my FEMALE boss inform me that I cannot work that position because I'm female and "what if someone pulled a gun on you?"

Uhhh, I dunno, I'd probably get shot? You know, just like a male would? Seriously, I am no more or less bulletproof than a male kthnxbai.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

In that case, your female boss is being sexist in implying that you can't handle the position because you're a woman. If the security position would really make you happy, then there's no reason why you shouldn't apply. All I'm saying is to step back and ask yourself if it's what you want to do. If the answer is yes, then do it.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Um... I know she's being sexist. That's what the "it's ALWAYS fellow women that I feel most persecuted by" part was about.

And unfortunately there IS a reason I shouldn't apply. Since my current boss is in charge of, you know, hiring for that position and all. And, you know, she's already told me that I don't qualify for the position due to my gender.

(frozen comment)

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

If you're in the U.S. (or any other country with anti-discrimination laws pertaining to gender), this is where a workplace discrimination suit would come in if your gender is the only reason she wouldn't hire you. That's kind of illegal.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, wow, a set of balls and a dick has the power to stop bullets now. Guess that explains how men never get shot... oh wait.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, wow, a set of balls and a dick has the power to stop bullets now.

My mind chose to interpret that a bit too literally. I can't decide if the resulting mental image is hilarious or horrifying.

(frozen comment)

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

I am now setting out to be the greatest, most controversial superhero of all time.

They call me... Cockblock™

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Inorite. She's acting as if I don't already work a security position. Oooh, wow, I work a position where I don't have to worry about guns so I'm safe and those big strong guys can worry about those! Never mind that she sees nothing wrong with me working a position where I'm still in risk of getting the shit beat out of me if someone chooses or getting a knife pulled on me.

Of course, that's still assuming I can't handle those situations. Which I, you know, can considering I've been TRAINED to handle them. But nevermind that.