[ SECRET POST #2767 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2767 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Work. Again. Sorry if response time is slow. :(

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 011 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big (also random unsubstantiated claims about famous people) ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Most people think of unmet standards in appearance being a dealbreaker, but there's way more out there than that. What's one dealbreaker to you that dissipates any desire to date someone no matter how cool their personality is. Can be related to job position, financial status, education status, etc.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

mustache.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Smoking. I just cannot.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

If you don't have a college education, aren't currently in college, or have no desire to go to college, then forget it. Given the current economy right now, you practically need a bachelors degree just to get a decent job. (Sure there are exceptions, but they're rarities.) Besides that, most people I've encountered who don't plan to go to college tend to have zero ambitions and that is just an instant boner killer to me.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

If I dated, I wouldn't date anyone who drank. Ever. I can't avoid making friends with people who drink sometimes, but with dating I imagine I can be more picky, since it's not as necessary for happiness, and most people only date one person at once.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[silvereriena]

I don't think it would necessarily be a dealbreaker if I really liked the guy but I am reluctant to date anyone that isn't at least a little bit neat. If their home/office space/etc. looks like a hurricane passed through it, I'm out.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[ginainthekingsroad]

Any wavering on the issues of consent and bodily autonomy.

We might as well not associate in any way, let alone date, if someone isn't going to respect that basic tenet of humanity.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[loracarol]

Smell.

I understand occasionally smelling bad after a long day, but you shower/cleanse yourself at the end of that long day.

I can even understand and sympathize with smelling while doing outdoor activities, like hiking/camping, because sometimes it's hard to clean yourself in the middle of the boondocks.

But in the context of a normal, day to day life, if you constantly have smell foul, with body odor, or smoke, or whatever, that would be the deal breaker for me.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[kallanda_lee]

Except for the smoking thing (and also beard/mustaches as another anon said) - not sure if this is shallow as it does have an effect on the relationship, but I'd never date anyone with a kid from a previous relationship, even if they only had it for a weekend every month or something.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure if this really qualifies as shallow, but anyone who isn't involved in activism or doesn't care about feminism, racial equality, LGBT equality, solving issues for the disabled, elderly, people in poverty isn't someone that I want to date or even bone. I've participated in political rallies and have taken an active role in getting equal marriage passed in my state. Social activism and political issues have always been a huge deal for me because I'm interested in seeing a positive change. So someone who isn't on board, has an indifference to these issues, or even worse argues against them or does things that would be considered extremely offensive and/or illegal isn't someone I'd be attracted to.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[fingalsanteater]

Being a republican.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

smoking pot/doing drugs. I dunno if I'd call it shallow, since it makes me super uncomfortable.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Having a stupid laugh.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

If you dress like Justin Beiber, then hell fucking no. I don't care if people dressed in too big shorts, had large ball caps or trucker caps positioned backwards or to the side, or wore large jerseys before Beiber. You dress like this, all I can think is, "I ain't fucking Justin Beiber."

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[slr2moons]

Doesn't like animals, especially cats. They can not like a species or two, but all animals in general--no. And cats are the exception to the one or two rule. Gotta like cats to date me!

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a zero tolerance policy for smoking and drugs, and also wouldn't date someone who sleeps around and has one-night stands, since I don't do any of those myself.

Littering and not recycling properly would also be dealbreakers: if someone can't be bothered to take their trash where it belongs or to follow simple instructions, such as "paper here and glass here", I'm going to think that they are a hopeless idiot in every other aspect as well.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

My dealbreaker would be not having a curious nature or desire/passion for learning new things. I couldn't stand having an intellectually stagnant partner.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Kids. Whether they already have them or just want them, either way it's not gonna work.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

People who spend most of their free time on social media, get invested in mindless reality tv shows (like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, etc.), and are addicted to mindless garbage like Vine, Instagram, or Snapchat. Or if they overuse memes.

I know it's shallow and people are allowed to do whatever they want with their free time. But I just cannot stand being around people like this for long periods of time. Especially since from my experience a lot of them get too invested in seeing other people's lives as reality tv fodder and gossip extensively.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

So many dealbreakers:

* smoker
* excessive drinking - if you get drunk on a regular basis, then no
* smoking pot - I think it should be legal, but I don't want to live with anyone who smokes anything
* picky eater - Food preferences are one thing, but I could NOT date someone who boycotts entire food groups and refuses to try new things
* conservative politics/religion
* doesn't read

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

If someone participates in any illegal activity. I don't care how minor someone thinks it is. If they think they're above the law and rules that the majority of us follow then I have no desire to date them.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[teaphile]

A lack of variety in their reading material.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[(Anonymous)]

Existing probably. Not against it in principle, but there's no one I've met that I've gone "yeah, I want to date that."

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Granted, I'm not dating, but.

On the shallow end: Scent. One relationship I had didn't work because his body temperature in bed just didn't work. Noisy eating.

Less shallow: Sexuality and gender. A co-worker today jumped from "sagging" to how guys in skirts are just wrong, which was an awkward moment for me. Likewise if you think here must be hard and firm boundaries and distinctions between various ways of describing sexuality, we're probably not going to get along.

Similarly, spirituality and ethics. There are certain practices I keep, and relationships I maintain. If someone isn't respectful of them, then I'm not going to be able to maintain a relationship for long.

Re: Shallow dealbreakers.

[case]

If I ask them if they think they're a good person and they confidently and immediately inform me that yes, in fact, they are.

I'd nope out of there so fast. Even if they actually are a good person. The fact that they didn't even have to stop and think about it is a kind of convinced-unthinking attitude toward morality that would scare me off. "I try to be good," and "I think I'm decent" is cool. "How do you define a good person?" is better. "Why yes I am definitely a good person, thanks!" nope nope nope nope nope

nope

(ETA: "I'm not good" is okay, too. "I'm not good" is at least someone admitting they are flawed or have the potential to be flawed. "I am definitely good" means they don't think they have any flaws, or that even if they do, they already feel that those flaws are unimportant or dismissible.)