case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-02-25 06:41 pm

[ SECRET POST #3340 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3340 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Xena: Warrior Princess]


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[MLP:FIM]


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[What's My Line?]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 013 secrets from Secret Submission Post #477.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-25 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I have personally taken the "as long as they're both adults, not my place to judge" view in situationslike these. That said, I can still see being weirded out by it, not because of the age difference itself but because of how young she is. Yes, 19 is legal, but there is still a lot of growing up that happens in those first few years of adulthood. You don't turn 18 and suddenly you're an entirely different person, you're still finding your footing and figuring things out. Granted, it's not one-size fits all, so it's hard to know without knowing the person.

Sorry for the long-winded answer. In short, I don't think you're wrong to have judgey feeligns about this.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-25 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
This is my general view as well.

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kaijinscendre: (Default)

[personal profile] kaijinscendre 2016-02-25 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't see the problem. She is an adult. Do you think she is somehow a victim? I am pretty sure she is super happy to be fucking Superman. I know I would be.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-25 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree with you. I still think of 19 as pretty juvenile (although when I was 19 I was totally!grown!up!!!1 of course). There's a difference in mentality and to be honest some people are still growing at that age. Their brains are still changing and don't stop till...what is it? 24? I don't recall, anyway, older than you think. The point is she won't even be the same person in a few years so...what happens then? And will she feel taken advantage of or think this was a great part of her life story? There is definitely a difference in development and maturity, unless he's SUPER childish, so I understand the judging.

On the other hand it's probably "teh dream" to a lot of guys you know, dating the hot 19-yr-old blonde. :/ So yay.

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-25 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know who she is but he's Henry Cavill and she's getting his dick on demand. Do you see who the winner is?

BTW, the actual answer is C. Both because they want to be together and are hopefully having a good time.

Heaven forbid a woman get what she wants. If a girl of sound mind wants an older man, let her have him.

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Well yeah, there's a huuuge difference between 19 and 25.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
To be honest, I'm reading some of these comments speculating way too deeply about this woman's "development" and how she will "feel about all this in a couple of years" and am finding them waaaaay creepier than this relationship.

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I'm 38, she's 22...

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
We started out as friends, and became something more as my wife and I split. Been together for a couple of years now, and still seem to be going strong. It helps that her parents like me and think very highly of how I treat her.

Re: I'm 38, she's 22...

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Re: I'm 38, she's 22...

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
I have a kind of weird view on age-gap relationships.

When I was 19, I was dating a guy who was 31. Everyone told me he was too old for me blah blah blah. It lasted 4-5 years.

Now that I'm in my 30s? I cannot imagine dating someone that young!

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, sorry but it'll never not be weird for a much older person to date a teenager.

Twenties, fine.

Teenager, no.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
Eh, I've known a lot of 18-20 year olds and 30 something year olds who are on the same maturity level. I don't really see the big deal tbh

Plus, as someone else mentioned, this woman is getting some prime Henry Cavill dick. Good you, girl. You're an inspiration
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2016-02-26 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
You know, I don't know this show, but it really depends on the people?

I'm currently with someone close to my age, but we're both kind of "young" mentally. A lot of people my age, I just don't get on with. So if I were single again, dating younger would be a real option.

Instinctively, yeah, 19 seems very young to be with a 30-year old, but there's very mature 19-year-olds, and not-so-mature 30-somethings. In the end it sort of depends on how two people make it work.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
all the ppl who are applauding her for getting his dick sound really creepy tbh.

I hope she has a good experience, but the motivation of a guy like that is already suspect. even if both are about the same maturity level there's even more of a power imbalance between people who are at different stages in life financially and with their potential family planning

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
You realise that for various historical reasons, usually things like wars and major migrstions, age gaps were quite normal in relationships. It's only the last twenty years or so that anything but peer to peer relationships have become something to be weirded out by. (People may have gossiped before, but they didn't hit this sort of skeeved out judgemental. )

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe it's awesome and will last, maybe it won't. And either outcome could be influenced by a thousand different things.

From what I've heard there are a few things abusive people frequently do when they're taking a younger partner like playing up how mature the younger person is ("So you'll be cool about X, because you're not like the other people your age") or using it as a weapon to keep them from setting boundaries ("I'm older and have more experience so I know you're just being silly about all that wanting to be respected nonsense.")

But then again, plenty of abusive scabsuckers do manipulative stuff like that without needing to go after a younger person. And plenty of good people do happen to fall for someone older or younger. Sometimes they make it work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes people the same age make it work, and sometimes they don't.

There's nothing really wrong with speculating, as long as you don't fall into the trap of assuming you can tell everything about someone else's relationship from just their ages.

Or, if you can, you should find some way to market that talent and make a bundle!

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you do you and all that, but I admit that in a situation like this, I'm always side-eying the older person a little. I was 23 when I started dating my now-husband (similar age difference), but our maturity levels matched so it was fine. Now that I'm 30, though, I can't imagine dating a teenager - even just a few years older would make it a little less objectionable to me. I guess I'm judgy.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
I'm curious where the cut off is for an age difference to start then. Everyone's pointing out about brain chemistry changing until you're 24 (in general), so is it 'skeevy' for a 23 year old to date a 33 year old because they're still a year below the brain cut off?

And like someone else said, there are mature younger people and super immature older people.

I would say that as long as the older person isn't doing anything that would come across as abusive or controlling in an 'age appropriate' relationship, if they're both over the age of consent, who the fuck cares.

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
eh, they're both grown ass adults. if everything's consensual, I don't really give a fuck tbh.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
grown ups making choices about their lives, how dare

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
I can understand why people freak about the age gap, but honestly? When I was 19 and single, I'd have hit that like a screen door in a hurricane. Why not? I wouldn't expect it to last forever, but why shouldn't I have fun even if other people disapprove? It'd be nobody's business but mine.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
honestly this does have a certain ick factor to it. but they're both adults although i agree they're at different stages of life.

tbh what is really gross in this industry are the older men who date underage girls.

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cloudtrader: (TEA)

[personal profile] cloudtrader 2016-02-26 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
I judge people who think that ALL relationships with large age gaps are bad.

My dad was 19 when he married my mom, who was 36 at the time. That's a 17 year age gap, yes, but they're still happily married 30 years later now, so... live and let live?

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(Anonymous) 2016-02-26 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I think people are assuming a lot. Maybe they're both just having a bit of fun for the moment. Not every relationship is about forever after.

(Anonymous) 2016-02-27 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
In my experience, when I see 30-something guys who are into teenage girls it's generally because they're total manchildren and women their age won't give them the time of day, but they can totally impress a 19 year old.

I'm not saying legit relationships can't happen, but I really side-eye guys who are exclusively into women who are 10+ years younger than him. It tends to go hand in hand with an immature personality and some gross beliefs about women (like women over 35 aren't attractive anymore or whatever).