[ SECRET POST #4759 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4759 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[The Mandalorian]



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02. https://i.imgur.com/jciwSVo.png
[linked for nudity at OP's request]


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03.


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04.


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05.


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06. [minor spoilers for The Witcher]


















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #681.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://i.imgur.com/VbeLl73.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Hey what the fuck does this have to do with fandom

[(Anonymous)]

Well, it's not about "a" fandom, but about fandom as a social space.

[(Anonymous)]

It was indeed the wise and all-knowing advice and affirmation of my fellow Kylo/Rey shipping fandom friends that convinced me that I am the gender I am. Nothing else mattered. They are the experts. This is how gender works.

[(Anonymous)]

What the fuck is this shit

[(Anonymous)]

Bait.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, most of the trans people I know in fandom transitioned in their late 20s and early 30s, but okay.

On the other hand, some of your points aren't too bad. You can be afab and straight and butch or queer and very femme or nonbinary or whatever, too. You can crossdress or present a different way to your birth sex and not want to transition. Whatever makes people happy is fine.

[(Anonymous)]

IDK in what fantasy world OP is imagining like fourteen years olds jumping to surgery. Don't you have to be 18+ to even consent?

[(Anonymous)]

The idea that people don't have to meet the expectations of their gender even while being cis is sound, don't get me wrong... but does everything in the secret surrounding that idea have to sound so goddamn high-handed and dismissive?

[(Anonymous)]

Right, like, I want to be clear (because this secret may get inflamed) that I don't think there's a one-size-fits all solution to any of this and it can be deeply complicated for individual person trying to figure themselves out and I support that.

I don't think OP is supporting any of that in good faith, I don't think that's even close to what the secret does.

[(Anonymous)]

People are going to talk shit about this but some fandom spaces are very hive-mind and hostile about trans stuff. It's made me avoid F/F and lesbian fandom spaces. It's very retro. It feels like we've looped back again. Welcome to 2020. Lesbians are evil if they don't want to suck dick and radical feminists deserve to be punched.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I expect that's because those people disagree with your views and largely regard them as an expression of bigotry.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi terf.

[(Anonymous)]

Bullshit. Basically no trans people are saying lesbians should suck dick, and you can find crazy people in any group. It's just that when it's trans people that's conveniently projected onto the entire group as an excuse to slag them off. It's also disingenuous to pretend that Trans Exclusive Radical Feminists are the only kind of radical feminist.

[(Anonymous)]

Well you are getting slammed already, but yeah when the flinging around of terf calms down and people feel more confident of the world being a safer space for gender non confirming .
/ trans, we are going to need to have a serious conversation about how being a lesbian is a sexuality not a lifestyle.

Being a lesbian is also about having sex, good loving sex and also kinky sex and etc with the set of genitials that turn you on.

And telling people they are terfs so invalidates their lives as people sexually attracted to vaginas and not a penis.

Honestly some of the conversations about lesbians needing to accept all women just sounds like the very old days of being told being a lesbian was a lifestyle. Just learn to love dick?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this is nonsense. Don't tell me this wasn't made as bait for another round of trans bashing.

Being trans isn't about gender roles. Gender roles and identity are different things. Basically nobody says that if someone doesn't conform to those, they MUST be trans; the most I've seen it used is an indicator, which is logical when we live in a society that, in some ways, expresses gender identity through gender roles and stereotypes.

Also, people don't push hormones and surgery like that. It's a frequent scare tactic people (transphobes and "concerned" people) use to pretend they're handed out like sweets, but realistically it takes a long time just to get hormones. If you're in the UK you're looking at multiple years just to get one appointment, let alone to get hormones. And then several more years on hormones before you're even eligible for any surgery.
And on top of that, trans people are very aware that those aren't a panacea that will fix everything.

This post is just bait.

[(Anonymous)]

This is generally how I feel. I just can't wrap my head around dysphoria because I don't know what it's like to have it. I grew up as a tomboy and felt very strongly about equality in the sense that the only difference between male and female was their shape, that what you do or how you live has no baring on who you are. So the whole idea about identifying as a certain gender just doesn't make sense to me because I don't know what people mean when they say they identify as a man, woman, or neither. I don't have a problem with how people live their life or doing what makes them happy, I'm glad people can beat their dysphoria and live their best life without letting it weigh them down. I just wish I could understand it better, but I'm not sure how to, y'know.

I am glad you phrased this as a personal experience, and I'm glad you're living a life you love. I just hope you don't let your personal experience overshadow the troubles other people are facing in the now. (I only mention this because I've seen someone use these statistics in this way in the past) Even if someone does grow out of their dysphoria, that doesn't mean it wasn't hard to live through when they were going through it.

[4thofeleven]

Hey, if we've gotta have bullshit troll-bait secrets, can we at least restrict them to ones that are relevant to fandom instead of... whatever this is?

[kaffy_r]

Well, you might be a troll, or you might be for real. In either case, you do you, nonny, and this is a place for you to do your secret. But wrt gender ... don't assume you're in the majority. Just ... don't.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Not a troll. This all really happened to me, and frankly took me years to even fully realize what was going on in my head. (I am now in my thirties.)

You can ask questions and I'll answer as long as you're not an asshole about it. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Seems nasty and dismissive of trans kids and identities to me, but also not trolly?

Honestly, I think if I were a teen today, I probably would've believed I was genderqueer/nonbinary or whatever term because I was "not like other girls". Before you jump at me, I'm blaming myself - I think it would've been me who would've taken on that term too quickly because being a "woman" isn't an active part of my identity and all my hobbies and fashion tastes were stereotypically masculine, which was often a source of frustration in my childhood. Of course, there would've been nothing wrong with me exploring what gender meant to be, but I have no doubt I would've gotten bored with that eventually and moved on.

I think my point is that it's not uncommon to feel uncomfortable with gender roles and when you're going through puberty, to feel unsure about your genitals. It doesn't mean you're trans or genderqueer or whatever, but there's also nothing wrong with experimenting as a teen and ultimately you gotta do you the right way. But fandom can be a brutal and toxic place, and that's just as true today as it ever was, so while I think for some teens it can be very liberating - for me, it became so much easier to accept that my sexual orientation was queer - it's also the case that it can be brutal and confusing, so I'm willing to entertain OP's hypothetical scenario of fandom only making her confusion and discomfort with her body worse.

[(Anonymous)]

A trans guy: is masculine

Other people: "You know being not like the other girls doesn't make you trans, right? You can just be a butch woman! By thinking you're trans, you're actually reinforcing binary gender stereotypes, which are stupid and should just be abolished."

A trans guy: is feminine

Other people: "I'm sorry sweetie but how can you possibly expect us to believe you're not a girl when you look and act exactly like one? God, girls will do anything for attention."

[(Anonymous)]

I’m glad you found your best life, but you are going to be slammed in the comments for this.

I’ll choose not to believe troll because hey people need to know that surgery is not the answer for everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently gender identity discourse is a fandom now. Cool beans.

[(Anonymous)]

I know you're getting slammed with comments but the things you talk about are exactly why I personally detransitioned. I realized that no amount of hormones or surgeries were actually going to relieve me of the issues causing my dysphoria.

People are quick to be dismissive of anyone who doesn't follow along with the transitioning script exactly to their liking--despite the general acceptance in the trans community that not everyone can or will medically transition--and I hate how conversations like this get shut down.