[ SECRET POST #2267 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2267 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #324.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - trolls ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/MG5scP2.png

[(Anonymous)]

This secret makes me so angry for so many reasons.

1) "came out" No. I hate when people thing that asexuality is some kind of horribly oppressed minority like homosexuality or transsexualism. It isn't.

2) "so much...and I really can't do that" boo-fucking-hoo. Tumblr savior their names or something and stop whining about it. I am not attracted to women, but you don't see me complaining about it. I just know that "Hey, people like different things."

3) "I can...dash...combust." Because they are hot and people like them. Realy damned hard to understand.

4) Jensen Ackles is totally seen more than Jared Padelecki. And no Benedict Cumberbatch? Psssssh.

[saturnofthemoon]

I don't really find any of those three attractive either.

[(Anonymous)]

ur a special snowflake wow claps how brave of u to put up with such a terrible thing.

oh wait. no one cares.

[(Anonymous)]

How can you see that the middle one is pretty? IDGI

[insanenoodlyguy]

Mabye you just have dumb teenage friends. Or Womanchild ones (i'm not sure what the feminine of manchild is). Most of us stop squeeing by 21.

Though as to the larger problem. You remember as a kid on christmas when you were pretty sure you were getting that one thing you wanted and that excitement as you tore off the wrapping paper and you couldn't see it all but what you were seeing looked like that thing you wanted?

It's like that but you feel it in your genitals at the same time. That excitement and exuberance.

Closest I can come to a description at least.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my god, good for you. I'm asexual too, and I find it incredibly condescending when other aces go on about "oh I can't find these people attractive! I'm so oppressed! I don't understand how people waste their lives on this stuff."
No one is forcing anyone on you, no one expects you to flail and squee with them.
Also very, very tired of other aces ganging up on those who DO still find people attractive, even if they do not wish to have sex with them, they are still able to fantasize or even sometimes(GASP) wonder baout how it would be to have sex with someone. What fakers, amirite?

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you think this is an asexual exclusive thing? Do you really think ~sexuals~ constantly get boners over anyone deemed attractive by their peers?

Tumblr hyperbole is annoying though, I agree.

[nan]

Uhm I'm asexual and I'm constantly talking about how hot some celebrities are. I mean, they don't make me hot for them, but I know an aesthetically pleasing person when I see one.

(although not so much any of the ones you mentioned, hahaha. Dylan's the only one who comes close and I mostly think he's adorable.)

[(Anonymous)]

I can't wrap my mind around what possibly compelled you to make this secret. Why would anyone put this into a secret? What response were you expecting? What thought did you want to express? "I don't fangirl hot people because I'm asexual so why do other people fangirl hot people". YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION. Just...what was the point of this?

And given I'm saying this in frickin' fandomsecrets, it means this secret is really a whole new level of pointless, useless, empty whining.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to be the one person who will give OP some sympathy. I mean, yeah I can see why it would kind of suck to have so many fandom friends who are so invested in finding these actors hot, whether you are asexual (or even not!). I mean damn that would be so annoying. Get new fandom friends?

non-ragey answer of SCIENCE

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, OP,

Sorry you're kind of getting dogpiled in the comments. I do remember reading over the years that there are a lot of studies that have been done, which suggest that the animal brain (hindbrain) is hard-coded for perfectly-symmetrical faces to be desirable/source of good genetic material.

Now, in today's hyper-sexualized society/on the Internet, anyone who neither has, nor claims to have, a hyper-sexual response to complete strangers they have never met, and will never meet, is considered just "Other" enough that there has been backlash against people who make a point of admitting that they don't have those reactions, to where those people experiencing the backlash feel they need to justify themselves in a world of "orientations;" it is just one more way to try and belong.

Out here in the Real World, however, NOT sexualizing everything and everyone you encounter, is actually the default operating mode for most human beings. Otherwise we would all be, y'know, bonobo monkeys.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think you're really asexual. I think you just made this to cause wank and make actual asexuals look bad.

Fuck you, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

As a female homo-romantic asexual I can related to this, considering that most of my fandom friends are females gushing over how they'd totally do *insert male actor/character's name here*. I do feel a little left out sometimes, but I'd never want to change who I am. I'd rather gush over female characters, and imagine myself snuggling with them by a fire on a cold winter's day, or some other such thing. Even if it's something I have to do on my own.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe it would help to think of it less as being part of the misunderstood asexual minority, and more as part of the vast majority of people (sexual and not) who think sexual objectification of "celebrities" is weird, or who have better taste in aesthetics.

Personally pictures of Padalecki's squished little face make me uncomfortable and Hiddleston bores me, but looking at pictures of Dylan is one of my most satisfying hobbies. The picture you've chosen is exceptionally unappealing, though. You need to capture him in motion anon. He can only be described as sparkling.

[(Anonymous)]

So confused by all the people saying OP is saying asexuals are oppressed.

...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm asexual, and I certainly don't think we're oppressed or worse off than homosexuals/transsexuals/etc. But can I just say that it's no walk in the park, either? I can't speak for everyone, but I, personally, am constantly judged for who am I am. I can't even count the number of times people have boggled over the fact that I don't like sex, or have tried to worm into my personal business in an attempt to ~understand~ or ~cure~ me, or how many people have laughed in my face and told me I wasn't doing it right, or I just haven't found the right partner, or that I must have been traumatized at one point, or that something was wrong with me, and so on. (god, you wouldn't believe how many people have tried to encourage me to see a therapist for my "problem").

Or, worse yet, men and women (I'm attracted to both genders, just not sexually) who've gone out with me KNOWING that I'm asexual and yet pushed for sex anyway because they thought they could fix me/were "the one" I'd suddenly want to have sex with.

So no, asexual people aren't oppressed, but we're not really treated fairly either. We're still a minority, and we're still considered "wrong" and "broken" and "unnatural" in the eyes of the vast majority.

[(Anonymous)]

If it makes you feel any better, tumblr fandom has shit taste in men.

Tom Hiddleston is utterly average, so is the guy in the middle, and the dude on the right looks like he had his face surgically removed and replaced with a donkey's anus.

[tabaqui]

Well...there is no explaining, really. People like what they like. Though i will tell you this. I am a bi female who enjoys sex, and i have no fantasies about going to bed with *any* of the fandom people i like. None. Not one. The very thought squicks me all to hell and back.

And personally, the 'omg, ovaries esplode!!!' comments make me either cringe or roll my eyes. That's stupid. Exploding ovaries would *hurt*, for fuck's sake.

So really - i think some people just go over the top in their squeeing because it's fun and easy to do and you can get a whole thread-full of people being over the top and silly. If given the chance, i would say a healthy percentage of these people would *never* sleep with any of these guys. (Or women celebs, either.)

[(Anonymous)]

Most of the time photos don't do anything for me either, OP, and I'm not asexual.

To be fair, though, I don't get turned on very often outside of my kinks/fetishes/whatever. Some of which are terrible and I wish I didn't have. Lots of people get saddled with stuff that makes them feel left out or weird, way more than would ever openly admit to it (I have to imagine, at least).

[scherrymouse]

I guess most if not all of us have parts of fandom we see others enjoying but don't enjoy ourselves. Feeling wistful about that isn't strange or bad, just something you'll have to live with, OP. It's good that you have some friends you're comfortable about divulging your sexuality to at least, and as you say, scrolling on by the shirtless posts is possible. I'm not asexual, but I also don't get the deal with shirtless men, so it's what I'd do.

[citrinesunset]

Well, I consider myself fairly sexual, and I can't relate to that sort of squeeing over celebrities, either. I do find some celebrities attractive, but for me finding people attractive has always been a somewhat private thing, and I don't usually get very into celebrities in the first place. So the sort of squeeing you're talking about feels very alien to me, too, and I always feel kind of awkward when I'm in the middle of it.

It's not just a sexual vs. asexual thing. It's also a personality thing.

Also, I think on Tumblr a lot of people exaggerate their feelings sometimes. Some people who squee about celebrities a lot probably do feel that excited, but others might be communicating that way more because it makes them feel connected to other fans of that celebrity, and because they get riled up by other squeeing fans.

If you're more confused about why people find these celebrities attractive in the first place, or how it feels to be attracted to someone, that's a trickier thing to understand if you haven't experienced attraction yourself. There are some scientific factors that can influence attraction, but it's also not a simple process. Personally, I find I'm more likely to start finding an actor attractive after I've read porn about their characters and have imagined them in sexual scenarios (even as their character). Others are just "my type" to begin with.

[wauwy]

Everyone's about to yell at you for doing "asexuality" wrong. Oh, wait, I guess they already did.

Once you guys reach an actual one-hundred-words-or-less consensus on what it means, let me know. Or actually don't, because I'm not overly interested, but at least post it to tumblrdottext.

[(Anonymous)]

The people in this thread screaming nothing bad ever happens to an asexual b/c they're asexual read this:

From: http://asexual-not-a-sexual.tumblr.com/post/43920443152/i-get-really-annoyed-when-people-say-that-i-can

I get really annoyed when people say that I can only have hardships as an asexual because I am non-cis (wait, let me change that: because I don’t look cis [because that makes sense]) and because I am non-heteroromantic.

Translation: I look “gay enough” to have crap things happen to me. (Because apparently all gay people look the same, don’t cha know?) And tending to like non-cismen makes me special.

Thank you for the permission to have bullshit things happen to me, and to have all the anxiety and alienation I feel recognized as legitimate. Your generalization regarding numerous identities is a joy to encounter.

But heads up: I wasn’t in therapy for two years because I was “gay enough,” I was there because they couldn’t figure out why a nineteen year old had zero libido and a hatred for being held. (Because there has to be something wrong with that, right?) I wasn’t sent to a doctor to have an internal vaginal exam and hormone tests because they thought I was “gay enough.” I was sent because not wanting to have sex apparently means I’m sick.

So, yes. Apparently asexuality BY ITSELF is enough to result in crappy things.

-------

There's other accounts like this one, but I'm not digging for them tonight just to prove something to you. Do your own googling like you like to tell people when someone as ignorant as you have demonstrated tonight on this subject asks about a different subject.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't figure out whether I am asexual. I don't have physical reactions to pictures like the ones you describe, but I have very firm opinions on who I do and don't find 'hot', and in what circumstances. (Regarding your secret: Jared in s1 of Supernatural, yes. Jared in that picture? No.)

I have no problem with the idea of having sex, but looking at hot guys, or girls, or reading vividly described sex, doesn't make me feel warm or tingly or whatever I'm supposed to.