[ SECRET POST #3349 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3349 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[X/1999]










Notes:

Early today, places to go!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #479.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - random memes with no secrets in them ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I worry, sometimes, about how easily I stop caring about people when I stop seeing them very often. I remember all the annoying or shitty things bout them instead of the good things and never have a desire to reconnect. I'm young enough that this could be because I didn't have much in common with those people (high school friends mostly) to begin with, but I still feel like I'm a bitch for emotionally dropping them without a second thought.

Re: Confessions thread

[herpymcderp]

I wouldn't worry too much. The naked truth is that this is how most people are wired. We can't really care deeply about people who aren't physically interacting with us in some way.

It has a lot to do with neural plasticity and the way in which we form concrete emotional memories of people and I could give a huge tl;dr answer for why humans generally suck at being motivated to be empathetic, but that would take a lot of time lol

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

You're definitely not the only one. And it probably does have something to do with being young/not having a lot in common with them.

I have a pair of HS friends I see maybe once a year and each time I wonder why I still bother. They still hang out together and have plenty in common, so I'm a third wheel. Then I remember it was always sort of like that, except in HS we knew all the classes/teachers/people the others talked about, and we were thrown together by having even less in common with everyone else.

Things are better with my old uni friends who I see slightly more often share more interests with. But even there I know that it wouldn't take much for it to completely fade away. The difference there though is that I know it also wouldn't take much for us to be close again.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the same way, OP, though in my case I think it may be at least partially to do with childhood trauma. I have a hard time feeling connected to people, even when I'm with them, though more so when they're not around. It's not that I'm a misanthrope, either, it's just that my default setting seems to be indifference and disconnection.

I don't actually think there's anything wrong with being this way, and it's probably more common than it seems. I mean, a lot of people who say they care a lot about the people in their lives will turn around and behave in ways that seem pretty uncaring, so it's not always easy to gauge what's really going on in people's hearts/heads.

However, one thing I will say is that, in my experience, it's worth making the effort to try to feel more connected to people. It's worth making the effort to try to care more deeply and more enduringly, especially as one gets older and friendships become more difficult to establish and maintain.

It can be sort of a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation, where you just have to go through the motions (as genuinely as possible) until you start to kind of absorb some of that into yourself for real.

Re: Confessions thread

[caerbannog]

You're not a bitch :) Most people are like this, they're more friendships of convenience. Highschool, coworkers etc. As you move on, many you leave behind (and they to you).

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I am the opposite. I still think about people I haven't talked to in years. Now this thtead is making me feel like a weirdo.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I do still lay awake at night plagued by the things I did when I was younger and how those people must think of me. It's a habit I'm trying to break, and teaching myself to push those thoughts away.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

As another lie-awake-and-worry person, I feel for you. If it helps at all, I doubt others have the poor opinion of your actions that you think they do. They're too busy worrying about their issues.

Have you tried those ambient sound apps/vids? I've been using a thunderstorm one for a while, and it's helped calm my mind and allowed me to get more rest.

Re: Confessions thread

[philstar22]

I do too.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I do the exact same things. (I tend to listen to podcasts to drown out the voices in my head that tell me I'm a horrible human being.)

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm making a cuckold of my partner.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

You believe in that bullshit?

Ugh.

Re: Confessions thread

[badass_tiger]

I feel really comfortable when people say 'I love you' to me. Doesn't matter if it's a character from a video game or my mum, I will internally cringe and feel about the same as if they'd said 'You're a piece of trash and I hate you'. I have no idea why.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't believe Dead Lesbians should be considered a trope anymore. Most lesbians in modern media get happy endings. If a lesbian character dies, she's just a character who died and happened to be a lesbian. I'm pretending to be supportive of my friend who is upset by that show that just killed a lesbian character, but I actually think she and everyone else just need to calm down.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

All the outright bigotry that's been showing up on this comm lately is really getting me down. I've substantially decreased the amount of time I spend here because of it - it hasn't been this bad since the LJ days.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have a strong identity myself, so I love when people tell me random shit they think about me. Problem is that I don't wanna seem self centered so I don't prod people about it often, but could honestly listen to that sort of thing for hours on end.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I've never had an orgasm.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm still pissed at the main core of my fandom for something that happened months ago and it's making me so bitter. I was excited about going to a fandom event and made a post asking who'd ever done the event, and what types of things are worth paying for etc., including how much money I had to spend. My post apparently upset someone because I was "bragging about how rich I was" and I made them spiral into depression and, like, want to die because they were really struggling with money? It immediately dampened my spirits and ruined all my excitement because I don't want to be the source of someone's desolation, jesus. We had it out and I apologized a million times and they apologized for being dramatic. No one else backed me up and ignored the whole thing. I'm still secretly pissed tbh because now I can't squee about going to fandom things without the fear of upsetting someone horribly, meanwhile everyone else has a great time talking about going to fandom events and making plans together to go to costly fandom events and I'm just... what about the time I wanted to talk about the big fandom event I'm going to and you all ignored or hated me for it because I dared to admit how expensive all this shit is? Uuuuuggh, so bitter about it.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just not able to let go. I know intellectually that I'd be way happier if I could forgive and forget but. I. Just. Can't. I keep remembering and I still care. Fuck that hypermnesia.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

Is it possible to become addicted to orgasms? If so, I might be. I don't even have a partner. Still a virgin. But I've gotten so used to sex dreams and the resulting orgasm that I get frustrated and annoyed the rest of the day if I don't have one. It seem to literally affect my mood. And when I do have one I'm happy the rest of the day. Also, I've taken to fantasizing about sex things every night to try to make sure I have a sex dream. I used to have them a good majority of nights, but I've gotten it so I have them nearly every night now.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I have a friend who I legitimately think would be better off dead, because I would prefer to be dead than suffer from her current level of disability. This reflects more upon my personal quality-of-life values than my sense of her 'worth' as a person, but I'm aware I'm a huge dick for thinking like this at all.

Re: Confessions thread

[dahli]

Half-confessions, half-rants.

I keep things from my family because time and experience has taught me that they will be extremely critical and/or freak out about anything and everything I do.

Also I feel both guilty and glad I cut off some "friends" out of my life. I don't need more people dismissing my feelings and putting me down every time I'm proud of my accomplishments. I have my family and therapist doing that already, thank you very much.

And I ABSOLUTELY HATE when my family gets super controlling on the things I spend on/the time I sleep/who I talk to. Hell, even my mom had to really insist on picking a therapist for me and my brother insisting on knowing what I spend my money on. I can't even buy a pair of socks without them flipping their shit at me. And then they wonder why I'm not an independent adult. Yes. I wonder why. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Also back in highschool, when I wasn't sure about my sexuality (or lack of), I had to tell my friends that I had a crush on this guy. Truth be told is that I didn't but I felt so incredibly pressured to have a crush in highschool since that's what "normal" highschoolers do. I felt so bad for the guy when he found out about my "crush" on him and been wanting to clear things up and apologize about it.

Re: Confessions thread

[caerbannog]

I reblogged someone to give them followers, they've gained a bunch and they have no idea it was me.

Best kind of joke to play on someone.

Re: Confessions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I can't tell if my coworkers are being friendly or mocking me and watching my reaction. High school messed me up.