[ SECRET POST #4424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #633.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://i.imgur.com/b7WWnU5.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

It's not a biological imperative

you can tell it's not a biological imperative because some people don't do it

[(Anonymous)]

How many people don't ever masturbate though?

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for saying that! OP's wording was bothering me.

[(Anonymous)]

..having babies is scientifically a biological imperative, sis. Not everyone has to want to do it for it to generally be wired into people's brains to do.

[(Anonymous)]

so you're salty that you don't have a child and that translates to being mad at people hating on a dumb trope?

[(Anonymous)]

People, in general, aren't saying it's unrealistic or bad for ONE female character to decide she wants children after being childfree. Lots of real women do. Just like people, in general, aren't saying it's unrealistic or bad for ONE male action hero to be straight. Statistically, most real men ARE straight.

They're saying it's unrealistic for practically EVERY childfree woman on EVERY show to eventually change her mind, just like it's unrealistic for EVERY male action hero in EVERY movie to always be straight. Each individual childfree female character changing her mind adds to an unrealistic, overwhelming trend of characters that do this, just like every action hero being straight, every adds to an unrealistic, overwhelming trend of characters like that.

If your argument is 'realism,' then statistically speaking*, fully childfree women and gay action heroes should happen a LOT more of the time overall.

But it doesn't.

I will continue to call the trend unrealistic, not to spite you or anything, but because that's... what it is.

*https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/record-4-5-percent-u-s-adults-identify-lgbt-gallup-n877486

[(Anonymous)]

There's something poetic about this being posted today of all days.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm childfree, too (by choice), and I'm baffled by the outrage this trope incites in people.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure it happens in real life. I think people object to this happening in media when it's not written in a believable way, i. e. a character just changes their mind on a dime without any conflict or introspection, because the plot (as opposed to organic character development) demands it.

[wannabe_influential]

OP had me in the first half of the secret, not gonna lie

Then I read 'biological imperative' and my eyes rolled back in my head

[(Anonymous)]

And then there's those who change their minds in the opposite direction. Ever thought of that?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just bothered by how OP is talking about a biological imperative, as of deep down everyone feels the same way. Biological imperative just sounds soul-crushing to me, and makes me depressed...

In regards to the fiction part of this secret, a lot of people like me really are looking towards validation and acknowledgment from society that they have other life aspirations other than a purely reproductive role. It's hopeful when a character shows up and seems like they might be a beacon for that sort of life experience too. Just especially sad in that regard when the character's previous aspirations in life get replaced by babies.

Sure, changes in opinion happen, but I get the feeling that 90% of the time writers just write female characters into reproductive roles because that's the only thing they know/want from female characters. Just a big stereotype that doesn't have much thought or intent behind it, insidiously so.

[(Anonymous)]

That's quite the mountain you're making of that molehill.

[(Anonymous)]

I have no idea what shows you're referencing so I'd love some examples.

That said, I think it's hilarious when 20-year-old women are like, I'm never going to have a baby and I'm never going to change my mind! It's like, erm, get back to me in 25 years then we can talk about "never."

[greghousesgf]

"delicious"? have you eaten babies?

[(Anonymous)]

You sound fucking bitter as all hell that you can't have a baby and are projecting your envy on all of us childfree people. Quit quanitfying your life by how ~empty~ your womb is and how jealous you are that others have babies and maybe measure it in some other way.

[(Anonymous)]

Alright, this whole secret is based on a personal anecdote from OP, so here is my personal anecdote to counter. I've got 7 aunts. 3 of them wanted kids and had them. Good for them! 1 of them wanted kids and couldn't have them. Boo! 1 of them got married and had kids because that was the thing to do in the 70s. She likes being a mom, but recently realized that she's probably asexual. Wouldn't undo having kids, but in a world with less strictures about such things, would probably have chosen adoption over the physical creation of other human beings. 1 got knocked up in high school and has made the best of it. She's a pretty decent mom, all things considered, but didn't choose to have additional children once she grew up a little and got a handle on how birth control worked. 1 is married, child-free and loving the freedom to travel with her husband and dogs.

So it's not really a biological imperative, so much as it's a matter of personal preference and circumstances. If you're really that bitter about your womb for rent, you could probably do something about it though.

[(Anonymous)]

Nice, your anecdotal evidence proves that theory wrong.

Well my anecdotal evidence is that 3 friends of mine who were vocal about not wanting kids are still not having kids. And they're into their 40's.

Go fuck yourself, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry you're feeling sad, OP :( I don't know what your situation is but obviously not having a child is painful for you. I went back and forth on wanting kids... now that I'm over 40 it's very unlikely to happen and I've (mostly) made peace with it. Some women choose to have kids, some choose not to, and some of us just have to deal with the fact that it never happened.

I suppose this doesn't have much to do with the content of your secret but the anger really spoke to me. Take care, OP

[(Anonymous)]

Did you deliberately choose the least appealing baby picture you could find for this secret and also imply that your friends’ children would be delicious? LOL

[(Anonymous)]

Unless we’re at risk of running out of humans (Spoiler: we are not), having children isn’t an imperative, biological or otherwise. You, personally, want children that you can’t have and are looking for reasons to project that on the species as a whole. Get a cat and better hobbies.

[(Anonymous)]

It amazes me how many people want to take offense by what you said, OP. You are 100% right, and people need to get over it. Not every 'Oh, now I want a baby!' storyline is bad or unrealistic, nor do I even think the majority of them are. Or, certainly, no more unrealistic than the rest of an average TV show.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh so many decent characters/series are ruined by the suddenly she's got babies trope. It's so predictably the end of my enjoyment for the series that I typically just stop reading. I am slightly bitter because three decent kindle series just got ruined for me last month.


Byeeeeee it was fun. Enjoy your babbieeessss.

[(Anonymous)]

I think we just want to see that characters can remain happy with that sentiment.

Signed,
A childfree woman who is starting menopause and is ecstatic.