[ SECRET POST #2230 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2230 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because blizzard, not quite sure if power will last.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 103 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Parenthood is inherently selfish. It's not worse for a celebrity to want a kid.

[(Anonymous)]

Parenthood is inherently selfish?

Wha...? Explain this to me.

[(Anonymous)]

DA - Technically speaking, just about everything we choose to do or not do is inherently selfish because we evaluate our actions based on what it does for us, emotionally, financially, etc... Yes, people can do things that benefit others (eg donating to a charity makes the donator feel good about themselves, but it also greatly helps out those they're donating to), and we don't generally consider those actions "selfish" because they're not exclusively benefiting the person doing them. However, choosing to have a child benefits nobody but the parent, who has chosen to have the child to fulfill their own desires. Having children has always been a selfish act because children have always been born in order to benefit the parents, but it's even worse now because there's no practical benefit to having a child - the only thing it does is make the parent feel good about themselves.

It's not inherently a bad thing, but people need to realize that there's nothing noble or altruistic about it.

[dreemyweird]

This. It's not like a child is obliged to be grateful to their parents for giving them a life.

It benefits the state

[(Anonymous)]

Here we are so few people that the goverment thinks every woman shold have 3 kids to keep the welfare level going.

It drives me mad, if it's so important they should pop out some more babies themselves instead of trying to force me :

[(Anonymous)]

the only thing it does is make the parent feel good about themselves.

Someone to take care of you when you're older.

Not only that, but you're only thinking in the here-and-now sense. In a meta sense, bringing someone into this world whose life will be happy and warm and comfortable is a noble idea. If you think "I want to have a child so I can raise a happy, loving human being", that's not exactly selfish.

Not only that, but you're missing an important aspect of selfishness--a lack of concern for others. If I choose to, say, go to a spa to make myself happy, I am not being selfish. I am only doing it for myself, but the action is not selfish. Regardless of others, I think, is how most people use the term selfish.

[(Anonymous)]

There's always a practical benefit to people having children, in that it furthers the existence of the species.

You can argue that we're overpopulated (we're actually not; we simply do not utilize the resources available to us in the most efficient manner, and that most certainly is as a result of selfishness). You can argue that humans, as a species, do more harm than good, and that our propagation is therefore undesirable. However, inasmuch as we are still animals, and we are still products of evolution, a significant amount of people among us are always going to have within them a drive to reproduce. And the primary benefit is always going to be that it ensures that we do not die out.

[queerwolf]

How is parenthood selfish? When you have a kid, your life becomes about them. Part of the reason I never want kids is because I want my time to myself and you can't do that as a parent.

[diet_poison]

YOU SELFISH CHILDFREE PERSON

/sarcasm

Naw, I don't think either you or someone who chooses to be a parent is selfish. What's selfish is having a kid and not putting them first, which of course is only a subset of parenting as a whole.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the important distinction is that most people don't mean "selfish" in terms of "I'm doing something only in consideration to myself", but rather, without consideration for anyone and in spite of them.

If you don't think you'd be a happy parent, you're not being selfish, because the child would probably suffer for it in some way. If you think you would, the child you have would not and they would benefit. If you have a kid regardless of your capacity to care for them, then you are selfish.

[(Anonymous)]

In the philosophy that the OP seems to be putting forward, any action that you choose to take because it will lead to you getting something that you want is selfish. So, you are selfish for not having children. However, a person who has children is also selfish!

[velvet_mace]

No, it's really not. If you are a selfish person, you better not consider parenthood, because there is a ton of sacrifice involved and a whole lot of not getting your way. Only in bizzaro land is being a parent a selfish act.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

Making a selfish choice doesn't necessarily mean you're a selfish person, though.

[(Anonymous)]

Life is inherently selfish. So what?

[dreemyweird]

I know that this is an unpopular opinion and whatnot, but I'm inclined to agree. There's no way to ask a child if they want to be born. I see the process of pregnancy and birth as the process of forcing somebody into existence...
which is rather creepy. In many cases it works out just fine, of course, so usually it's not a problem. It is quite painful when it is, though.
Suicide is not completely out of question, but these are two very different things: to be never born and to be born and then kill yourself.

[velvet_mace]

I find your train of thought very worrying. From the outside, you sound pretty severely depressed, and if you are that bad off, please consider getting help.

[(Anonymous)]

There's nothing inherently wrong about it. You cannot account for the feelings of something that does not exist. If you have a child with the full capacity to raise it well, this isn't selfish. I do think it's selfish to think your parents should have somehow known that you would be the ejaculate that never wanted to be born. There is not evil or good bias to life naturally. Certain conditions can be, but life itself doesn't lend itself to being a good or bad choice, sense many, many things play into the quality of your life besides the simple act of birth.

By that standard, everything that ever happens to anyone is the fault of your parent. If they hadn't given birth to you, you might not have broken your arm, or got humiliated in high school, and so on. But then, wouldn't it also be your grandparents fault for bringing your parents into the world?

[(Anonymous)]

I think that was part of the... was it the Cathars? They thought material life was inherently evil, so it was evil to incarnate any souls, so they only engaged in non-procreative sex? I think it was the Cathars.

[bored_bitch]

I don't find it inherently selfish, but the question remains, what are we plucking the child from?
There is no proven concept of what existence or inexistence life has before it becomes a life, nor that living and its experiences are any better or worse.

I don't feel as if bringing a child into the world is inherently selfish or noble.
We're just an organism reproducing, the way organisms do.

[(Anonymous)]

"There's no way to ask a child if they want to be born."

what the fuck.

"forcing someone into existence"

i can't. i fucking can't.

wtf wtf wtf

[despatch_boxing]

Everything and everyone is inherently selfish.

The difference is that having kids is applied selfishness rather than pure selfishness--it's extending your sense of self to the living being you've produced, and hence extending your selfishness to cover them too.

[velvet_mace]

Ugh. My problem with this is that it reduces selfishness to a meaningless concept.

[(Anonymous)]

i just can't with all the butthurt childfrees in this thread. you don't want kids, cool. but having kids is not selfish, at very least, not inherently and certainly fucking not a morally bad decision. omg just stahp

also: poor me, I'm alive

[(Anonymous)]

i'm tired of the baby-crazy sjw tumblr cunts who whine about their biological clocks and periods. omg just stahp the butthurt