[ SECRET POST #2180 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2180 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


#10 is a moving .gif!


01.


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02.


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03.
[Fraiser]


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04.


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05.


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06.
[Homestuck]


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07.
[Kili/The Hobbit]


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08.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
















09. [SPOILERS for the Walking Dead]



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10. [SPOILERS for How I Met Your Mother]



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11. [SPOILERS for Rise of the Guardians]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















12. [WARNING for abuse]



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13. [WARNING for rape, noncon]

[American Horror Story Asylum]


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14. [WARNING for rape]

[MLP: FiM]


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15. [WARNING for rape]

[Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen]


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16. [WARNING for suicide]

[Doctor Who]


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17. [WARNING for rape]



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18. [WARNING for IRL murder/shootings]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #311.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i47.tinypic.com/23uwh2s.jpg
[Kili/The Hobbit]

[(Anonymous)]

I think dwarves can be sexy.

He, though, doesn't look like a dwarf. At all.

[wldcatsprstr_14]

I haven't read the books so I don't quite understand why Dwarves can't be sexy. Is that a canon thing? That they'll all supposed to be gross and unattractive?

I just put Kili being goodlooking in the movie down to him being (I think) the youngest and that he'll probably round out and get all wrinkly as he's older.

And HELLO, was Thorin not sexy as fuck? I don't see anyone complaining about how hot he was. Or maybe it's just cuz he's played by an actor that's not so well-known for being a pretty boy?

[(Anonymous)]

i want to lick whipped cream off his nipples

[tasogare_n_hime]

I wonder if other dwarves teas him about not having that much of a beard.

[(Anonymous)]

When I look at him all I see is Mitchell cosplaying an elf.

[mekkio]

Why can't dwarves be sexy? (Personally, I think Fili is hotter. And I am not even into blondes.)

[(Anonymous)]

My personal headcanon is that dwarf culture frowns on young dwarves growing long full beards until they've accomplished something of note in their life and Kili hasn't yet which is why he's on this quest, because he wants this to be the something of note he accomplishes to be considered fully an adult. (The directors said somewhere that Thorin keeps his own beard short in respect to his father whose beard was burned short by Smaug, but it's also my headcanon that there's nothing preventing a dwarf from keeping his beard short after accomplishing things if he wants to.) Also I'm baffled by the amount of mad that Kili's having minimal dwarven facial hair is causing. Why is this so OMGUPSETTING? He's supposed to be youthful anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

Are we talking fantasy dwarves with their scraggly beards and axes, or are we talking about dwarves in every sense of the word?

[iceyred]

Fandom, can we please stop complaining about the hot men? It's kind of distressing. And sad. Very sad.

[(Anonymous)]

Hee, well, WHO SAID they shouldn't be hot? Don't be racist, OP :P

and anyway, he's the youngest of the group and definitely looks like it. I like to think they grow into their dwarfishness (if that makes sense)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Dwarves have been sexy since D&D. Then there's the Warcraft ones... hmmm... Brann... and then Gimli from LotR. I certainly don't mind the additions from The Hobbit, though.

of course, maybe I just dig beards. who knows.

[fingalsanteater]

What are you? Dwarfist? They can't be attractive because then you might catch Lonley Mountain Fever (racist term that it is) and want to fuck a dwarf with a pretty face? I think you're a just bigot.

[nachtmusik]

I am tired of this "dwarves can't be sexy!" bullshit. It is stupid and Varric Tethras would like to have a word with you.

Fili and Kili are the younger dwarves, of course they're more likely to be attractive.

Also Fili > Kili.

All the deadly earnest comments taking this secret seriously...

[(Anonymous)]

... really? I read it and LOLed because I figured that was the whole point.

[elaminator]

No offense OP, but I'm already bored of this complaint. Just let the hot dwarf be.

[diet_poison]

haha my sister came back from the movie making a big deal about how sexy he was

[(Anonymous)]

I have more of a problem with him looking *nothing* like a dwarf. He sticks out like a sore thumb with the other ones.

The same argument could be made for Thorin but they at least tried to make him look a bit dwarfish with the thick eyebrows, forehead and nose. Killi wouldn't look out of place on an ad for underwear.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know where everyone is getting the idea that all dwarves need to look the same. Humans have wildly different body types and appearances, I don't see why dwarves can't.

[(Anonymous)]

What about Thorin? He dwarfish enough for you? Dude is haaaaaaawt.
Or Bofur? Love his hat and his glorious mustache. He's got some fans.

I am disappointed by the lack of beard on Kili. I wish he had one, it'd make him even sexier to me. As it stands, he looks a bit too out of place from the rest of them and I wish people would stop fixating on him. There's plenty of sexy to go around in the company, not just Barefaced McSexypants there!

Dwarves can and are sexy. What you're complaining about is that Kili doesn't look traditionally dwarfish for you.

[(Anonymous)]

But why shouldn't dwarves be sexy? Who says they can't be? Short, stout, bearded men can be hot too.

(Also, regarding Kili specifically, he looks a lot more like a dwarf in the movie than he does in still images, I thought his movements and mannerisms fit in pretty well with the other dwarves.)

[rbhudson]

Agreed. All of them look like dwarfs except him. But that had to have a sexy one so he could have a love interest. *sigh* I'll go back and watch the LOTR movies and pretend this one doesn't exist.

[forgottenjester]

So while everyone here is screaming about assumed authorial intent I'm just going to go with The Death of the Author and interpret it however the fuck I want.

*sigh*

This thread is so serious. It's bringing me down. I guess I'll just have to cheer myself up by imagining hot dwarf on dwarf action.

[(Anonymous)]

s'up Aidan. I know him. Next drink is definitely on you, fella.

[vongroovy]

But why can't dwarves be sexy? Nothing Tolkien said about them makes it impossible for them to be sexy too. Yeah, I don't think he intended them to be, but unless it said in the text that some character was meant to be ugly (subjective anyway), I'm not going to complain about them casting hot. I'd probably side eye them pretty hard if everyone in the film was model hot, but a bit of eye candy in there is hardly anything to get worked up about. And Kili's meant to be really young, so it makes sense he's not as super beardy as, say, Balin. I'd much rather have the variety of looks in the movie than, like, 13 Gimli clones. In the way he moves and the way he acts, Kili fits in with the group, looks aside.

Anyway, he's only, like, 5th hottest of the dwarves, tops.