[ SECRET POST #2395 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The Most Popular Girls in School]


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03.
[Welcome to Night Vale]


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04.
[Gerard Way and Frank Iero]


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05.
[Mastumoto Jun]


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06.
[Macdonald Hall]


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07.
[Downton Abbey]


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08.
[Generator Rex]


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09.
[Neil Oliver]


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10.
[Star Trek]


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11.
[Star Trek: TNG]


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12.
[The Vampire Diaries]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

Honestly, housewife/househusband. I know you're supposed to be all PC and say that that's everyone else choice, but I honestly don't understand a) wanting to be completely financially dependent on your spouse b)being around your kids all day long and c)feeling no need to live up to your potential. Mostly it just seems you'd be screwed if you ever broke up.

I guess, in general, I'm just more bothered by lack of ambition. I can understand someone going for a job I'd hate (like accountant) if they seem passionate about it. I can accept people running off to Hollywood and trying to make it in the film industry, or wanting to be astronauts - because hey, even if you fail, at least you know you tried to fulfill your dream. I can even accept if someone says hey just want to do menial work to get money for hobby they're really passionate about but can make a living with.


I just don't get people who just seem to have no passion in what they do whatsoever. I do not understand how people can live like that.

I think it's better you aim high, then if it doesn't work out, you still have other options.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

house wives or stay at home moms? Because I'd argue that it takes a lot of passion to want to be a stay at home mom/dad. It's not something that everyone can do and while I have no desire to do it myself, I have respect for people who can balance taking care of their children 24/7 with keeping the house taken care of.

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

Both, really.? I mean in a way I find sahm even more risky because you're even more vulnerable if your partner would leave.

It's not that I don't respect it (I couldn't do i) but it's more the part about being an adult who is still financially dependent on someone else in this context.

Also I don't really see having kids as a goal, just something you might or might not do on your own journey. And if you're passionate about kids, then I don't get that you don't channel that into teaching (at least part-time). But really, that might just be me.

Re: be honest

[anonymouslyyours]

Some people's passion and ambition is in child rearing or homemaking. They're usually the exception to the rule but there you go?

It's not my dream but I definitely take satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment and pride from creating a warm welcoming home for myself but especially others. I'm all about that braggy domestic shit like weaving and canning too and there's a theoretical appeal in nurturing little children into fully developed people or whatever.

But I also completely understand about some people seeming like they settle for staying at home and don't actually have any interest or passion for homemaking.

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

I think that's probably the experience I'm coming from. Frankly I only know people who hate doing stuff around the house. Like a necessary evil.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Echoing that there's a difference between housewife/husband and stay at home mom/dad.

I'm a housewife and freelancer, so your comment pretty much makes me cringe. I work to augment finances as needed but it's all our money, not his and mine. As for choosing to be a housewife, it isn't anything I've ever felt I had to justify but the fact is that I get an enormous amount of satisfaction and contentment in running our household that I don't get from anything else. I love organizing and decorating, as well as creating a welcoming place to live for myself and loved ones. I see nothing wrong with that and certainly don't feel any shame in it. The mere notion of feeling shame for living my dream life and being truly happy is laughable at best.

Re: be honest

[deadtree]

I'm glad you don't let people get you down, there's such an inclination these days to look down on people who want to be homemakers :\

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

Well, if you're a freelancer though, I'd say that's different. I'm presuming that does still give you some income and satisfaction, too?

Re: be honest

[diet_poison]

I'm curious as to what that difference is? Or is it just a difference in wording and implications, like "stay-at-home" implies that you're limiting yourself in ways that "house[spouse]" or "homemaker" don't?

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Gotta be honest, I really am not convinced that "running a household" is exclusive with getting a job.

if you're happy and your partner is willing to financially take care of you, by all means, but..

Re: be honest

[deadtree]

okay but housewives/househusbands potential might BE all the skills required to be good at that job. Being good at parenting, cooking, cleaning, etc are all skills/talents and not everyone has them. Just because they don't get a paycheck doesn't mean it's not valuable work.

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

I never said it's not valuable. I'm having trouble seeing it as satisfying though, personally. Also as we were talking about a plan B, I wonder what theirs is. I mean, say you divorce and haven't been on the job market for 10 years. I have a friend who was home with her kids for like 8 or so years. Now this woman is incredibly, incredibly intelligent. But it was dead hard getting employed after that gap, and she's working way below her abilities now.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Oh please, being a housewife has nothing to do with being a good parent. Exactly 100% of housewives I've met irl think that good parenting is doing all the cleaning/housework so their kids don't learn any valuable life skills. Cleaning does not inherently make you a good mom, staying home all day does not inherently make you a good mom, nor does cooking. And moms who work don't "not" do these things, either.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Just speaking personally; I had to start running a household when I was 13 years old. It's work, and requires developing skills, but it's minimum wage work any kid could do if they had to. I think homemaking gets glorified a lot too - if you told someone that your life ambition was to be a housecleaner or hotel maid most people would wonder if you'd really be happy doing that for 40+ years and would encourage you to think a bit bigger, but if you say you want to be a homemaker or housespouse we're not supposed to think the same thing?

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand why you assume people who want that life have no passion for it. That's just stupid.

"I think it's better you aim high, then if it doesn't work out, you still have other options." Yes, people should aim to what you consider high instead of aspire to live the life they want. That makes perfect sense.

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

I guess because I've seen several people myself who did it but had little passion for it, or even resented it? So, I guess the bias of my own experiences?

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

I would take it a step further, and say that if you've got no kids you're being a parasite, and if you have kids you're setting a terrible example.

"Work extra hard kids and you can laze about all day doing what other women do on top of a real job".

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

I totally agree with you. My mom is constantly whining about how she doesn't want to work and she just wants to stay home and be a housewife and I can't help but be bothered by it. To me it's like, you're a fucking adult. Unless you have some illness or something that prevents you from it, get a damn job. I also have an acquaintance (I don't really know her well enough to call her a friend) who claims that being a housewife and taking care of kids is her only goal in life, and honestly, I find that completely fucking pathetic.

I know it's not PC at all and you're supposed to respect everyone's choices and this probably makes me an awful person in some (most?) people's eyes, but I can't help but lose respect for people like that.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Lack of ambition

Er...having kids could *be* their ambition. It may not be something *you* recognize as ambition, but there are people that it's the ambition for.

Also, just because you're a housewife/househusband doesn't mean you can't have a separate bank account, or doing something on the side that brings in cash if you're really worried about it.

Seriously, this really reminds me of the 'You're not an adult until...!' tripe a lot of people spill.

Re: be honest

[silverau]

...No.

Just because you don't want to be a homemaker doesn't mean that people who do want to aren't passionate about it or aren't living up to their potential.

Re: be honest

[kallanda_lee]

Well, that's more wank than I expected...

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand why you think that ambition or passion has to be focused on a career or making money. There are plenty of ambitions and passions that don't involve an exchange of funds for services rendered.

If someone has the financial means to NOT have to spend half their day five days a week doing something that tires them out and takes them away from doing the things they actually care about, more power to them, I say.

Re: be honest

[diet_poison]

I take some issue with this. Being a full-time parent is, in fact, a full-time job, and it's a very important job, and I don't like it when people imply that it's "lower" on the success scale than having a career. And for some people, it really IS what they want.

The one part I can agree with is that in this economy, it's not always possible to have one parent in a household working when the other does not. But that's for economic reasons.

For some people, caring for children and running a household is where they have a gift and passion, so it doesn't mean they're losing their "potential". It kind of sounds like you're trying to pressure people into taking a different path because you don't like their choice. And being around their kids all day doesn't bother some as much as it might you - just like people have different preferences for other aspects of the work environment.

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

I know there are people that are homemakers/stay at home parents that are awesome and do all the cool stuff, but every single person that's told that to me (and I'm not "painting with a broad brush" here, it's literally every person in my life that I know personally that said this to my face) doesn't mean "I want to stay home and keep the house running efficiently and raise my children to be awesome", they mean "I want to sit on my fat ass and do whatever I want and make my husband/wife do all the hard shit while I watch soaps". So yeah, I understand what you mean.

Besides, what the shit are the stay at home parents supposed to do when their kid/s start college? Do they get to "retire" while their spouse continues to work? Awesome!

Re: be honest

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. I roll my eyes at anyone who says they want to be a housewife. No, I'm not ashamed of it. Have fun requiring a partner to take care of you financially. It's one thing if it happens out of necessity, but when young people strive for that? I honestly find it depressing and cringe whenever I hear it.