[ SECRET POST #2623 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2623 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry OP, but I am officially sick of this attitude. Your adultism is gross.

Kids use computers. I grew up with one. I learned a lot of useful things about sex long before I was actually doing anything with anybody because I hung out on the porny parts of the internet. And I was in a much better position to identify creepy behavior for what it was because of that. It helped me take care of myself and stay safe IRL, in a way that being naive never would have. Knowing how adults talk and think about sex is much more useful than eventually getting a weird description in school about penises and vaginas. Going out and hearing how sexuality is a normal component of an adult identity is ... it helps. It's worlds better than feeling like there's something wrong with you for having this weird, tingly, responsive body that likes things that don't make any sense. And if you think that's disgusting, if you think you're totally entitled to consume and create porn but no one under eighteen should be allowed to exist in explicit spaces? I hate that. I don't even know how to articulate how abhorrent that is.

[feotakahari]

On the one hand, I basically agree with this sentiment. The Internet doesn't always promote healthy attitudes towards sex, but it's a hell of a lot healthier than anything I heard in sex ed, and I think it will ultimately result in a generation with fewer sexual hangups.

On the other hand, "adultism"? Seriously?

[(Anonymous)]

While I also grew up on the internet and got a lot of my sex ed from it, I disagree with it leading to less sexual hang ups. It will erase some, for sure - but I think it will (and already has) created a whole slew of replacement hang ups, internet porn addiction and its variations to name just one.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I think the internet doesn't have to promote healthy attitudes towards sex. I mean, you can find healthy attitudes, but showcasing the other attitudes people have towards sex and the ways that some of those beliefs are self-serving, exploitative, and broken, is really useful and educational in its own way. It's a lot easier to realize "oh, hey, this is dangerous" when you're reading something than when you have an offline person trying to convince you that it's actually romantic.

In the context of "your feelings are icky to me specifically because you're not 18 yet" ... yeah. Seriously. If you interpret that differently, though, I'd be glad to hear why.

[(Anonymous)]

.. you did not just say "adultism." you didn't.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

If there's a reason why that's a joke on this board, do tell?

[(Anonymous)]

LMAO Adultism.

The problem is, most adults really don't want to be responsible for teaching kid's about sexuality. It can also cause adults to get in a lot of trouble at worst... and come off as really creepy as best.

I do agree that sex education is generally a joke and it's sad that we don't have great resources for kids to learn about these things. A lot of what is done is there to protect kids but often does them a disservice.

I don't know that the solution is to just let kids be in porny places without consequence, because that can be dangerous as well. Maybe we just need more resources for teenagers?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm not saying adults are responsible for teaching kids about sexuality. I am saying that ... most kids would rather figure this out by paying attention to adults who aren't preaching at them, who are just talking about what it's like in their life and their experience, or writing stories that hit their buttons. All of this should be okay. It should be normal. Freaking out that kids are interested in sexual things is a relic from an age before the internet. We need to re-evaluate and figure out what makes sense now.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like this is the majority of F!S and fandom's experience with porn on the internet so it's just weird to me that you're speaking out about this like it isn't common opinion.

[(Anonymous)]

This. One of the biggest points being made is that we all lied about it for the comfort and (pseudo-)legality of all involved. But now the kids aren't lying about it.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Well, the thing is, look at the conversations about it. I would expect people who had this experience to defend kids sharing their spaces, but what I see is a lot of fear and antagonism.

"Adultism is gross"

[(Anonymous)]

You lost me after that. Your childishness is hilarious.

[(Anonymous)]

"Adultism"? So now the SJWs are saying they're oppressed because their brains and bodies aren't fully-developed yet?

Yeah, I'm hoping you're a troll. 1/10.

[ibbity]

Dude, while you have a point about the whole "kids/teenagers need better sexual education than they generally get," I am pretty certain that incredibly twisted and kinked-up shit like you find in a LOT of porn games and fan-made stuff is not even remotely gonna do that for them. 12 year olds do not need to learn about sex from some Harry Potter fan's incestuous skull-fucking fic and they don't need to be learning about genital torture or 24 hour Master/slave relationships or bestiality rape fantasies before they're even quite sure where the clitoris is yet. Also, lol "adultism." You are aware that age laws exist for a reason, right?

waitaminute

[(Anonymous)]

Are you trying to argue that porn and R18 games are a good safe place for kids to learn about sex and their bodies? Because that's so far off base I don't even know where to start.

[mautradutor]

All this is true. However, as to I have to admit that it's normal for kids to look at these things, and I also admit that I saw this when I was at age, t still feels weird to me as an adult to treat children and sexuality in the same space. I don't see my distress as a reason to run them (although I think it should be good to cover up the real age, both for security and safety of them and adults), but I think it will. And I don't think there's anything unnatural or wrong about this feeling.

[caerbannog]

It's more that some of us can get in serious shit if it's found that we're interacting with kids - however passively/accidentally - in a sexual environment. Serious. Shit.

I have a tumblr porn account specifically so I'm not giving or livestreaming porn to underage followers. I do my best to age limit livestreams and if you're following my porn account and admit you're underage I am going to block you. Not because I don't expect teens to not be sexual beings, I was doing much the same things at your age, but because by knowing a person is underage and continuing to give them adult works *I* can get into fuckloads of trouble.

If you've been lying about your age there's not much I can do about it 'cause I don't know but if you're outright stating you're underage? No you cannot exist in explicit spaces.

[(Anonymous)]

ADULTISM

ADULTISM I AM FUCKING LAUGHING SO HARD

[(Anonymous)]

LOL

[diet_poison]

"adultism"???

Give me a break.

(This is why I feel very strongly about parents talking to their kids about sex. Sex ed should never be the first place you hear about it! But the internet isn't always the greatest teacher either. And stuff that's kinky, especially stuff like dubcon and BDSM, isn't a good first intro to a kid about sex. At all.)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't want to interact with kids in a sexual context. It feels wrong and makes me feel gross.

ADULTISM

[dethtoll]

is that like adultery

[caffeine_buzz]

Oh heavens, 'adultism,' seriously? Adding "-ism" to an existing word does not make it suddenly an actual thing (sorry, this is quickly becoming one of my pet peeves).

As for the rest, I don't think people are saying "kids shouldn't use computers to find out about sex" or anything. I have nothing against kids wanting to read explicit fic or look at porn or whatever, because I did it myself when I was a kid. I just don't want those kids to tell me about it. Because as people below have said, once the kid states their age the adult who might have written that fic or posted that porn is now in an awkward situation that does have potential to go very badly for them.

Also while I agree it's good that kids can learn about sex on the internet in ways they don't IRL, I'm not sure this secret is the best example of that. DMMD has some fucked up bad endings.

[(Anonymous)]

omg i just DIED laughing at "adultism"

OP, I get where you're coming from

[lunabee34]

I learned about sex from my internet of the day: Encylopedia of Britannica and Rosemary Rogers. LOL I agree that adolescents are sexual beings. I agree that their sexuality is not disgusting.

However, I personally know people who have lost their jobs for things they've posted on their blogs. Adults do have to protect themselves from losing their jobs, from legal action, and from loss of professional reputation.

So I guess what I'm saying is, welcome to being an adolescent in any time. Where was I reading the thirty page entry on sex in the EoB? In the dark in my room where my parents wouldn't see. It's not a new thing that adolescents have to find porn and/or sexually explicit material on the DL. I know the immediacy and almost god-like searchability of the internet (and it never stops feeling that way to most of us who did research before the internet LOL) makes it seem different, but it's really not.

[the larger point you raise elsewhere in the thread about the inadequacy of sex education is an extremely important one, and one that we need to address]