Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2014-03-09 04:05 pm
[ SECRET POST #2623 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2623 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)Kids use computers. I grew up with one. I learned a lot of useful things about sex long before I was actually doing anything with anybody because I hung out on the porny parts of the internet. And I was in a much better position to identify creepy behavior for what it was because of that. It helped me take care of myself and stay safe IRL, in a way that being naive never would have. Knowing how adults talk and think about sex is much more useful than eventually getting a weird description in school about penises and vaginas. Going out and hearing how sexuality is a normal component of an adult identity is ... it helps. It's worlds better than feeling like there's something wrong with you for having this weird, tingly, responsive body that likes things that don't make any sense. And if you think that's disgusting, if you think you're totally entitled to consume and create porn but no one under eighteen should be allowed to exist in explicit spaces? I hate that. I don't even know how to articulate how abhorrent that is.
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On the other hand, "adultism"? Seriously?
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)I think the internet doesn't have to promote healthy attitudes towards sex. I mean, you can find healthy attitudes, but showcasing the other attitudes people have towards sex and the ways that some of those beliefs are self-serving, exploitative, and broken, is really useful and educational in its own way. It's a lot easier to realize "oh, hey, this is dangerous" when you're reading something than when you have an offline person trying to convince you that it's actually romantic.
In the context of "your feelings are icky to me specifically because you're not 18 yet" ... yeah. Seriously. If you interpret that differently, though, I'd be glad to hear why.
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)If there's a reason why that's a joke on this board, do tell?
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)The problem is, most adults really don't want to be responsible for teaching kid's about sexuality. It can also cause adults to get in a lot of trouble at worst... and come off as really creepy as best.
I do agree that sex education is generally a joke and it's sad that we don't have great resources for kids to learn about these things. A lot of what is done is there to protect kids but often does them a disservice.
I don't know that the solution is to just let kids be in porny places without consequence, because that can be dangerous as well. Maybe we just need more resources for teenagers?
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)I'm not saying adults are responsible for teaching kids about sexuality. I am saying that ... most kids would rather figure this out by paying attention to adults who aren't preaching at them, who are just talking about what it's like in their life and their experience, or writing stories that hit their buttons. All of this should be okay. It should be normal. Freaking out that kids are interested in sexual things is a relic from an age before the internet. We need to re-evaluate and figure out what makes sense now.
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)Well, the thing is, look at the conversations about it. I would expect people who had this experience to defend kids sharing their spaces, but what I see is a lot of fear and antagonism.
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"Adultism is gross"
(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)Re: "Adultism is gross"
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)Yeah, I'm hoping you're a troll. 1/10.
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)Re: waitaminute
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I have a tumblr porn account specifically so I'm not giving or livestreaming porn to underage followers. I do my best to age limit livestreams and if you're following my porn account and admit you're underage I am going to block you. Not because I don't expect teens to not be sexual beings, I was doing much the same things at your age, but because by knowing a person is underage and continuing to give them adult works *I* can get into fuckloads of trouble.
If you've been lying about your age there's not much I can do about it 'cause I don't know but if you're outright stating you're underage? No you cannot exist in explicit spaces.
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-09 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)ADULTISM I AM FUCKING LAUGHING SO HARD
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-10 12:01 am (UTC)(link)no subject
Give me a break.
(This is why I feel very strongly about parents talking to their kids about sex. Sex ed should never be the first place you hear about it! But the internet isn't always the greatest teacher either. And stuff that's kinky, especially stuff like dubcon and BDSM, isn't a good first intro to a kid about sex. At all.)
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-10 12:41 am (UTC)(link)ADULTISM
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As for the rest, I don't think people are saying "kids shouldn't use computers to find out about sex" or anything. I have nothing against kids wanting to read explicit fic or look at porn or whatever, because I did it myself when I was a kid. I just don't want those kids to tell me about it. Because as people below have said, once the kid states their age the adult who might have written that fic or posted that porn is now in an awkward situation that does have potential to go very badly for them.
Also while I agree it's good that kids can learn about sex on the internet in ways they don't IRL, I'm not sure this secret is the best example of that. DMMD has some fucked up bad endings.
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(Anonymous) 2014-03-10 01:41 am (UTC)(link)OP, I get where you're coming from
However, I personally know people who have lost their jobs for things they've posted on their blogs. Adults do have to protect themselves from losing their jobs, from legal action, and from loss of professional reputation.
So I guess what I'm saying is, welcome to being an adolescent in any time. Where was I reading the thirty page entry on sex in the EoB? In the dark in my room where my parents wouldn't see. It's not a new thing that adolescents have to find porn and/or sexually explicit material on the DL. I know the immediacy and almost god-like searchability of the internet (and it never stops feeling that way to most of us who did research before the internet LOL) makes it seem different, but it's really not.
[the larger point you raise elsewhere in the thread about the inadequacy of sex education is an extremely important one, and one that we need to address]
Re: OP, I get where you're coming from
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