fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3703 ]

Break up with him. For his sake. Because wtf. As long as he's not dissing it, or putting down YOUR tastes for liking it, who gives a cock if he doesn't want to watch it?

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 02:05 (UTC) - Expand

Is this the only problem with your relationship? If so, don't break up. It's important to learn that you're not always going to share the same interests, and that's OK. Media is very rarely a good reason to break up.

Is this actually an excuse you're giving yourself because something else about the relationship isn't sitting right with you, and you need an excuse to break up? If this is the case, it might be right to break up. Try to figure out what about it feels wrong to you. Maybe it's an important thing that's being masked by your Star Trek feelings.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who will share your interests out there, and maybe it's worth waiting and trying to find one...but if you have a good and compatible relationship in other ways, it's probably better to just not share every interest.

In long term relationships, especially successful ones, partners normally don't share all the same interests.

Think about it, OP. I wish you well!

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 06:14 (UTC) - Expand

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tree_and_leaf - 2017-02-23 14:51 (UTC) - Expand

If you're willing to break up with him over this you're probably Not That Into Him so might as well break up with him now to spare both of you the trouble

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 00:38 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:51 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 03:42 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 06:15 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 07:58 (UTC) - Expand

Honestly? Seems like a sign of an overall larger assholishness. Go ahead and break up with him.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 07:58 (UTC) - Expand

Maybe think about why this is so important to you? Is it just the principle of the thing? Is it bc the show means a lot to you? And if that's the case, have you told him that? I don't know, but if this is just because he's not giving in, then that's a ridiculous thing to get upset about. But if he knows this is somehow important to you, it's a bit different, but he might have an explanation. Also, if it's important to you, be aware that he might give it a shot and not like it. Just, think about what it is about this disagreement that's upsetting.

I understand why this is bothering you, OP. I had a friend who was equally as fannish as I am, but was unwilling to watch the thing I was most deeply fannish about with me - even though there were only a few episodes of said thing. Because she was super fannish herself, it was clear she knew how much this fannish thing meant to me, but she still wouldn't share it with me. Despite the fact that I had been very willing to share her fannish interests with her. Our friendship didn't end because of that, but it did indicate a pattern of imbalance in our friendship that ultimately led to its end.

If I were in your shoes, I would express to my BF that the show really meant something to me, and that I wanted to share this thing I cared about with him. I would assure him that I didn't expect him to change his mind and love it, and I would tell him that it would mean a lot to me if he would be willing to watch it with me every now and again.

If he still said no, then yeah, I would have a hard time staying in that relationship.

But keep in mind that you also have to be prepared to make similar concessions for him as well.

The fact that you're thinking about breaking up with him over this is just... it sounds like you haven't been in a relationship before this one. Or you are very young.

Like others have pointed out, just because you're with someone doesn't mean that you have to have the exact same interests till death do you part. My husband and I share some interests but if he doesn't want to watch something that I love or vice versa, I'm not going to fucking divorce him over it. I just chalk it up to him not being interested in the thing and I move on. I don't know why you're so insistent on him watching the show, and honestly, that's probably a part of the reason why you're getting so much pushback from him about it, because you're being so pushy about it.

I think you need to grow up a little bit.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:41 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 07:41 (UTC) - Expand

I'm kind of enjoying all the different possible backstories people are making up here.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:58 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

My bf and I watch most TV seperately, but often in earshot of each other. Everything I know about ghost in the shell I know from reluctantly going "okay wait what's happening???" And I know he feels the same about Steven Universe.

Maybe try that first. If you still feel like dumping him, do it. Life is short.

Obviously we don't have all the details, but if this is the last in a long line of requests or attempts to find a way to share interests and he won't even entertain the notion or offer a reasonable alternative, then it's probably not going to work out. If, on the other hand, this is just one thing that he won't compromise on and he's told you he doesn't want to watch it, but you won't let it go and he's dug in because he's annoyed that you think you can dictate this sort of thing (or he's annoyed because you say he'll like it if he just gives it a chance, like he doesn't know his own taste), then it's probably not going to work out. And if this is made up just to get a reaction and he doesn't exist, then it's probably not going to work out.

I find the idea of someone loving the new movies but refusing to watch TNG so repulsive I'd break up with them too.

This whole thread is bizarre. I readthe OP of the secret as being joking, but all the anons arguing that it's perfectly reasonable to want to break up with someone because they don't want to watch a tv show you are really into is making me seriously reconsidering. The secret doesn't have any story outside of OP's boyfriend not wanting to watch the show, anything outside of that is just projecting and made up. Or are all those anons just joking too? This is so weird.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 23:28 (UTC) - Expand

lol jesus christ, get over it

Are you two in high school?

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 07:56 (UTC) - Expand

Y'know this reminds me of when I was younger and used to force my brother to watch anime with me because I had no one else to share it with.

I thought he liked a few of them, but turns out he hated them and was trying to spare my feelings.

So, yeah don't be a dick. Chances are he'll just resent you and the show, so you'd lose out anyway.

omg, that pattern is adorable. and yes, totally break up with him. not even trying tng, blah.

The way you worded this secret makes it sound like a very, very, VERY shallow reason to end a relationship.

For his sake, I hope you break up with him. Then he might have a chance to get together with someone who loves him enough that him not wanting to watch an old tv series they're obesessing over isn't enough to dump him.

Ok OP, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here. I vote you don't break up w him unless there's other problems in the relationship....but with regards to the TNG thing, if it's really important to you that he watch it with you (and I DO understand the want to share the thing you love with the person you're seeing), here's what you do. You pick an episode that is one of your faves that kinda stands alone, and you say to your boyfriend "look. I really really want you to watch this show with me, so can you watch this one episode? And afterwards if you don't like it, I'll never try to get you to watch any more. But I want you to actually try it before you give me a hard no" - but here's the thing though - if he agrees and then he doesn't like it, YOU CANNOT (CAN NOT) TRY TO GET HIM TO WATCH IT ANY MORE. You have to respect the fact that he tried it and he didn't like it.

Not gonna lie, if he refuses to even do that, I don't think that's grounds for a breakup, but I personally would think it was grounds for a conversation about why he's completely unwilling to even try out a thing you like.

I'm not a big Star Trek fan and clearly a lot of people feel very strongly about your secret, but my initial reaction to this (with the little information you've provided) is that you're in the right.

I feel like a lot of the big fannish/pop-culture things that certain generations have grown up with (Star Trek, Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc) can be a big part of a person's life, or at the very least they affect your formation as a child/teen and have a very special place in your heart.

For someone to be dismissive of that, and refuse to even watch one episode, it seems like your partner is either terrible at compromising and/or has put little effort into understanding your interests.

So, TLDR; I'm probably reading waaaaay too much into this, but you have my support OP!

I highly doubt that Star Trek is the actual problem in your relationship. Work it out like a grown-up.