[ SECRET POST #1890 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1890 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 108 secrets from Secret Submission Post #270.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

09. http://i13.tinypic.com/48p66wm.jpg

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Wah.

[marshwiggledyke.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel bro, but the fact is, women get dibs in fandom. Practically everywhere else is male-dominated, and fandom is largely a safe space for women because it's mostly run by women. We just have to feel glad that we're allowed to hang out on the fringes and included as much as we are.

[ascend.livejournal.com]

anybody who gives a shit about your gender is stupid

what fandoms are you talking about anyway

[syntheticpoetic.livejournal.com]

Personally, as lonely as it can sometimes be, I much prefer being 'left out' to being treated as 'the token non-female', which is one of the other unpleasant ways this can swing. I understand that IRL girls put up with a lot of this 'pushed out or tokenised' crap as well, so I can see where the behavior comes from...

But yeah. Awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

fandoms are atrocious, anyway; soapbox drama with regurgitated "original content" and ego-driven personality cultism

[ryouseiteki.livejournal.com]

It's strange, but all my irl fandom friends are dudes. All my friends who are girls don't really seem to give two shits about it. But now that you mention it I do kinda assume that people in fandom online are chicks unless stated otherwise, kind of like how I assume people in mmorpgs are dudes unless stated otherwise. *shrug*

[(Anonymous)]

My experience in the slash community says that's unlikely. I have a couple guys on my Flist and no one singles them out or treats them differently. Other communities might differ (I have het ships and gen preferences for some shows but little experience in het or gen fandoms).

[countess-k.livejournal.com]

What fandoms do you visit that require you to identify your gender? My fandoms don't know or care what I am unless I choose to tell them.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care what gender you are, so long as you are friendly (and preferably if you write something I want to read...) I can't think of any of my friends who would feel differently. I think you just need to find the right group and try to avoid the hateful people.

[(Anonymous)]

...are you an antelope? Because I'm still pissed about that antelope that hit my damn car. >:-(

[ladyyuna07.livejournal.com]

Don't feel left out! Feeling left out is what causes binary and non-binary rifts in fandom!

No but seriously, I rarely think about what gender/non-binary/box-you-do-or-do-not-put-yourself-in other people in my fandoms are. Because it doesn't matter, not really.

(then again, I am a girl, so maybe I'm just speaking from a 'privileged' area? This is a weird thing to think about)

[visp.livejournal.com]

Fuck you, I'm a dragon! How left out do you think I feel?

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry to hear that. :/ *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

oh cry some more about it, we'll start giving a shit once society stops pushing women out of absolutely everything else.

[not-quite-anon.livejournal.com]

*Hugs OP*

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

That's too bad anon, having people treat you differently because of your gender sucks. That being said, I'd like for you to notice that, well, this is how we feel a lot of the time in the real world. So if you can take your left out feeling, multiply it by a hundred, and then apply it to almost every social situation ever, you'll probably have a lot better understanding of how women feel whenever we complain about exclusion and stuff.

[dethtoll.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

I have to admit it's sometimes awkward for me as a non-straight male. People point at male-dominated fandoms and talk about how women are excluded, but they forget that male-dominated almost always means straight-male-dominated. Try being an out-and-queer man, or even speaking up when other people are being homophobic in one of them and watch how fast you get attacked from all sides. Then you have female-dominated fandoms which are by far friendlier, but there's sometimes that feeling of not quite fitting in just because of the huge disparity in gender population statistics and everyone assumes you are also female. Instead of "lol eat shit and die, faggot!" you get "oooh a real boy that kisses boys! let me pay special attention to you!" or sometimes "lol look at him flaunting his gender around, he thinks he's special just because he's a boy" -- all three of them mostly from people you don't even know, and all just for... existing, I suppose.

Cry moar, yes, I know. Mostly I just wanted to make the point that male-dominated doesn't welcome all males.

[type89.livejournal.com]

OP, maybe you just have not found the right place to enjoy fandom! I'm a guy and I've made many friends through fandom on tumblr. Though I'm also into really traditionally feminine things and often get mistaken for a woman. But you just need to find a place with people you fit with.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this. It's why I haven't come out as trans to my flist- I'd get a bunch of shit about "betraying the sisterhood" or something like that. Guys are not very welcome in my fandom. :(

[(Anonymous)]

if you're neutrois - sorry, fandom really should try to be more inclusive

if you're a guy - cry more. everywhere else panders to you all the time, i'm sure you can live with this one thing being more dominated by girls.

[malik-chan.livejournal.com]

I know this may come as a shock to everyone, but maybe OP feels they either can't relate to the girls or they have nothing to talk about with them. It's amazing how no one came to such a simple conclusion, but no, we had to have wank over gender fluidity (btw, cis is a stupid anagram), fandom and safe spaces, and generalizations about fandoms from some dipshit.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. EVERYONE JUMPS TO THE WORST CONCLUSIONS/ASSUMPTIONS.

[dentedsky.livejournal.com]

I felt this way for a while for a different reason, but you just got to keep trying, you know? You'll find the sub-circle for you.

[green-glee.livejournal.com]

Yeah but do you feel actively excluded or are you just butthurt that the girls are not trying to include you?