[ SECRET POST #2706 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2706 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 079 secrets from Secret Submission Post #387.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

http://jezebel.com/the-problem-with-cute-self-defense-products-for-women-1583955815/all

even if it does play up the "all women are terrified all the time" trope

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Could you copypaste the article or donotlinkit? I'd rather not give any gawker site pageviews.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

God damn this mass hysteria needs to stop. I dont know what is fueling it but (social media I except) but sheesh.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[ill_omened]

Carrying weapons for self defence is such an unbelieveably terrible idea, jesus christ.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Really?

I guess we should just lie back and think of England?

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

God yes. Every time I read this internet-badass "I'm always carrying a knife so come at me, rapists, I'm gonna cut you up!" bullshit I keep thinking "Dear lord, darling you probably don't even know which side of the knife to hold". Being the first to draw a weapon in a fight/drawing a weapon at all is a bad, bad idea if you don't know exactly how to use it and even then it's risky.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[diet_poison]

And yet, some people do, and it's their choice to do so.

You say elsewhere that it will just be used against them. Maybe so.

But if I'm being attacked by a dude twice my size, and I have no weapon, nothing I will do will give me the advantage anyway. With a weapon, maybe it will help, maybe not, but it's a damn sight better than bare hands.

(And yes, I could learn self defense. I used to know some. Maybe I'll learn it again. But there's no guarantee that shit works; you don't know anything about the other person. Maybe they know some. Maybe they're good at ignoring pain. Maybe I'll forget all the motions. I don't have a gun, but I have a pocket knife, and even though I've only ever used it for opening boxes and shit like that, once or twice it has given me comfort in situations where I wasn't comfortable being alone at night.)

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

THIS.

Ah, the wonders of the post-Internet society

[feotakahari]

I used to argue a lot with a scary hardcore Christian who was also a Platonist and a monarchist. He once tried to convince me that gay men shouldn't be allowed to adopt children because bottle-fed babies have lower IQs on average than breast-fed babies. When I questioned the validity of the study he was citing, he said something that's always stuck with me. "You are entitled to your own opinions, but you're not entitled to your own facts."

That's one of the most untrue things you can say these days.

Do guns save lives? Will guns just get you killed? Here are my statistics proving one thing! Here are my statistics proving the other! No, your statistics are biased! No, your statistics have a sampling error! No, you! No, you!

I think you can find the actual truth on at least some of these. (I found my answers on global warming when I noticed that professional climatologists were saying one thing, and the folks who were saying the opposite were geologists and botanists and such.) But good luck trying to prove that to anyone who doesn't already share your views. Your statistics can be your foundation, but they can just as easily be your wall--or perhaps your dam, preventing the flow of any information contradictory to what you want to believe.

(And no, I'm not taking a side in this stupid argument. I don't know enough about which stats are credible.)

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[feotakahari]

"even if it does play up the 'all women are terrified all the time' trope"

Question for female posters: how true/relevant/whatever the appropriate term is does Jezebel's portrayal of fear of rape feel to you? That is to say, do you feel that you are regularly at risk of being raped? On the one hand, Jezebel articles are absolutely LIVID about men who don't believe that women are constantly at risk of being raped, so I'm terrified of questioning it, but on the other hand, the rhetoric they use about how women are under attack sometimes reminds me way too much of the rhetoric about how Christians are under attack.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

I'm more afraid of being robbed than raped, honestly. And even that's not really at the forefront of my mind, like... ever.

But then I don't see men as Predators Who Are Out To Get Me.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Not at all. I mean honestly, if I was "terrified all the time" I would probably go and see a psychiatrist.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[morieris]

That is to say, do you feel that you are regularly at risk of being raped?

Depends where I am. It's more a fear of just generally having to deal with a strange guy who may or may not be friendly. I don't know why so many people are hellbent on not believing that yes, there are a fair amount of women who navigate in public places warily.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

It's not on my mind unless it's at night and by a bad part of town/bar area.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Not familiar with Jezebel so can't comment regards to their appropriate portrayal, but...

It's not that I literally think I am going to be raped, but I am constantly aware of the possibility. Does that make sense? Like I live my life doing all those stupid things "don't walk alone at night, don't leave your drink unattended, don't accept drinks from strangers, don't get alone into a car with a strange man, don't go anywhere alone with a strange man" etc, but it's not like it's a constant fear, it's just that the possibility and the idea of safety (or lake therof) is so ingrained that rape and safety precautions are just a part of life.

It's not as...flamboyant? as a lot of articles make it out, but it is a part of life.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[dancing_serpent]

I've never been afraid of being raped.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Personally, I'm usually wary when alone on the street at night, especially when in a seedy, secluded area, but that's not because of a fear of rape. It's because it's fucking common sense to be aware and cautious of your surroundings in a potentially dangerous situation.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[quirkytizzy]

I'm not terrified all the time. Why? Because I:

Check my front door. Check my backdoor. Look around when I go to my car to go to work. Notice any men. Smile at them. Maybe not smile at them. Don't wear provocative clothing. Carry my keys so I can stab someone in the eye with them. Carry my purse in a way that I can easily drop it and run. Sometimes I have my phone in my hand so I can call someone if I need to. I don't go out alone, I always get a new drink if I've left the old one there, I never talk to strange men except when they talk to me and I'm always absolutely polite (but not TOO polite)....

You see, I'm not terrified.

I'm fucking EXHAUSTED.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

It's not so much a fear of rape as it is a fear of being attacked or killed or even just harassed (I've been harassed many times), however seeing as I was raped, the thought that it could happen again is something that I think about every time I leave my house and I am extremely careful of my surroundings. Like an above poster said, it's not as flamboyant as all the hype is making it, but it's still there.

I do hope all this talk DOES bring something good out of it and tons of awareness. Because I am tired of feeling afraid. But I understand that not all people feel that way so I can see why people would be sick of the talk. :/

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I never really felt fear much beyond the usual caution most people (not just women) would take - you know, stay out of certain areas, don't walk home alone, take a cab if drunk, etc. Then, I was assaulted (see a thread above; sheesh, looks like my day for venting).

Now? Fuck it. Even though I know that the chances of lightning striking twice n the same place (so to speak) are slim, and I've mostly gotten over it, I do carry pepper spray with me as a sort of "security blanket" if I am going anywhere alone. Because, while I don't BELIEVE it'll necessarily happen again, and while I am not (anymore) terrified anytime I hear footsteps behind me, I still do feel like I'd want to have the option IF.

What I carry is not the "marketed to women" stuff that the article talks about (which, from what I've seen on offer, would probably be freaking USELESS in an actual incident because, no, when somebody attacks you, you don't have time to find it, release a complicated safety switch, and still be able to use it from a reasonably safe distance) but something developed for people handling aggressive dogs. It's no nonsense, fits comfortably in one hand, simple spray nozzle. (Also, for black humor value, if I ever DO have to use it and have to justify that, I fully intend to, with a perfectly straight face, claim that I have a deep seated fear of wild dogs and I thought this one had "rapies")

So, I guess my feeling is 50/50 - on the one hand I've experienced the negative first hand, and on the other I'm distanced from that enough to realize that of 15 years of being in this city as an adult woman that I only once had a problem and that, statistically speaking, my city is pretty damn safe overall compared with the rest of the world.

Should we all be panicked all the time? No. Panic is paralyti.

Should we be aware of our surroundings and take reasonable precautions? Yes. That's good advice for everybody.

Should we all carry a weapon or constantly wear anti-rape-undies?

Weapons only if one is capable of handling them responsibly. (And no, I really don't have a good way of deciding who is and who isn't capable. After all, I'm biased and, as said, I carry something I believe I'd be able to use but which I admittedly have zero training in; I'll leave that for wiser, less biased heads than mine.)

Anti-rape-undies? Can't imagine that actually being a successful stratagem- a) you'd have to have them ALWAYS (because who can predict this sort of thing reliably enough to avoid an awkward "Oh, I can't go to that event where rape is a possibility because my only pair of rape-be-gone undies is in the wash!" situation) and b) I wouldn't want to risk facing
the attacker's wrath when he's thwarted by my underwear.

Bottom line is there is, unfortunately, no magical device or course of action that will guarantee anyone's safety. (Face it, if there WERE, we'd all be using it, no?) I find fear-mongering reprehensible, but also believe that people should be able to find the products and services they need (again, within reason, again, no I can't delineate what 'within reason' is, sorry) to feel safe.

So, I guess what I'd change is the angle of the marketing. I'd like to be respected and treated like an adult. Something that instead of going "OMG! RAPISTS BEHIND EVERY BUSH! CARRY OUR MAGIC RAPIST-BE-GONE!" simply states, generally, "Our product does X, and may be useful for self-defense in Y situation." But yeah, maybe when pigs fly.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

I've looked into the crime stats for my area. Despite crime being massive, with no ties to anyone in the area I think I'm the safest person here. People around here typically only are assholes to people they know and/or of their own race. Whenever I go out I'm with someone so I don't even think about it.

Though I do get spooked after crime or ghost hunting show marathons.

I've never experienced any attack on my person but I have see someone shoot into a car and a rob a store from my living room window.

These self defense products are people trying to make money. What do the Jezebel fear mongers get out of it?

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

No. Street crime is pretty much nonexistent here, as long as you avoid bars around closing times, and I don't associate with shitheads that would take advantage of me.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[morieris]

...I'm not even sure how the thing in that image is supposed to be used defensively.

Re: Suprisingly decent article on self defence

[(Anonymous)]

It just occurred to me: OP, are you the same person who keeps making these threads with titles that have the similar wording to them and typically are links to Jezebel? I think this is the third thread in what I think is a month, and its making me start to wonder if its the same person or just a massive coincidence.