[ SECRET POST #4625 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4625 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Star Trek: Enterprise]


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[Horatio Hornblower]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #662.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

?

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I love my dog and he's a very sweet dog but he's young (1 1/2 years) and excitable and has been difficult to train. Before I got him I thought that walks and trips to the park would be... fun? They're not. He gets too excited and I have to fight to keep him from trying to pulling on the leash, growling at strangers or other dogs and a nice day out turns into this exhausting ordeal. He's had some work with a professional trainer and that went well but each session is expensive and I didn't anticipate that level of expense. He's a great dog, if we're at home and never have to go out or see other people. TBH that'd be my preference too, but that's not practical because he needs his exercise and socialization.

But sometimes I think about the life I had before I got him where I could sleep in and stay up late and not be tired all the time and I could go out whenever I wanted or stay in when it was raining and I WISH I'D NEVER GOTTEN A FUCKING DOG.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

DA

aaaaand this is why I tell people I like cats better. I love dogs. I've grown up with dogs. We ALWAYS had at least one dog growing up.

I refuse to get a dog. I got a cat when I moved out and I love her stupid face so much. Yes, cleaning litter is irritating as shit and it's great fun when she decides I'm her pincushion but other than cuddle time on the couch and wiggling feathers around for her to chase she's so easy. I can wander in and out as I please.

I love dogs. And I love cats. And cats, in my experience are way easier to handle.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

My dog's the opposite. He's excitable and cheery when we're home, but is kinda fearful when we go for walks. If it's just the two of us walking, he's happy and will try to eat lizards and sniff everything, but if he sees other people or other dogs, he'll get tense and try to hide behind me. If it's a large group of people, he'll refuse to walk until the group passes (which is a major problem when we're crossing the street). He barks at everything at home, but has never barked at anything when we're outside.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I get where you're coming from. My last dog was large and boisterous, and on more than one occasion pulled me or another member of my family right over. Everyone else loved him, but I just wanted to not worry about him breaking one of my bones!

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[syncing_feeling]

Aww, Hopefully he'll grow out of it. My friend's Whippet/Lurcher cross was ridiculous when she was young. When we used to come to visit everything was a game to her and she'd shred anything flimsier than wood. We were sat playing Scrabble and she blasted through the room with a pair of my dad's socks in her mouth and then annihilated them. (My friend then told my dad he should have put his bag in a cupboard or something and he was like "I DID THOUGH")

She's since mellowed out and is the most well-behaved pup. I know it's tiring but you're doing the best you can and he should hopefully calm down in time. What breed is he?

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I hate taking my dog for walk because he never grew out of leash pulling. He is so excited that he can't process commands. If we go somewhere new like we did this morning then he stays ramped up for a day or two and is particularly disobedient. It's so stressful and I've tried everything. I'm not paying for yet another trainer to tell me he will grow out of it.

What works for us if off leash time around our yard. Changes to the environment like new neighbors or us moving to a new place can be a bit stressful but he falls into a routine quickly and goes back to being the best dog in the world.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[tabaqui]

Yes to all of this. My ex-SO got a dog, and while she lives with him now, when she was here, and when i dog sit her...jayzus. So not fun. I didn't have insect bites all spring/summer until she stayed here a week. She won't go on a leash well *at all*, barks at everything and everyone that isn't me, him or the Monstrous Bebe, and is nervous as fuck about everything.

I will never deal with another dog, and I totally feel you.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[dahli]

One thing I've learned from dogs (and pets in general) are that they will always aim to please you. If he does something good then praise him, if he does something bad tell him no (but never EVER hit them or abuse them). That's how I also potty trained my dog. Also pay attention to their behaviour. Animals are very smart and will find ways to communicate with you as long as you're willing to listen.

They will learn what's ok and what's not but you need a bit of time.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

big dogs have a lot of energy and it's best if they can have a place to run around off a leash. you mentioned having a trainer but does that also include obedience school? the dog needs to be able to see YOU as the boss, not someone else. the trainer needs to train you to be the dog's trainer and to be the one in control. if the dog is pulling you around a lot when he's on the leash, a special collar might help too.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

This is exactly why I don't want to get a dog. Cats for the most part are much quieter and will let you sleep in. (Unless it's time to eat, haha.) I don't hate dogs, but I know that if I ever had one, I would find barking annoying and things like that.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

On the one hand, I wish I had the money to be as ethically conscious in my purchases as I'd like to be. Having to use companies I don't like because I can't afford something better gets frustrating. On the other hand, when it comes to, say, Amazon, I admit that I like the convenience. I can't say that to my friends who really do try to be ethically conscious in their spending. But I like Amazon. I know they are a terrible company. But I like books. And dvds. And they are the best and easiest way to get them.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I get you, anon. I try to be ethically conscious, but it's hard to do when I'm flat broke.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a bisexual woman, and probably more attracted to women than men. I'm really tired of all the Tumblr memes mocking straight women for their sexuality. And I'm tired of the way people there seem to expect that I will love doing that and am probably actually straight if I don't.

I KNOW straight people aren't oppressed for being straight, but it just seems like another way to sneer at women/teenage girls for liking literally anything.

And the memes aren't even consistent. They used to assume straight women all like macho jocks (with a nasty MRA-ish undertone implying that straight women who have been abused basically just got what they asked for dating masculine guys). But now the latest thing seems to be patronizing confusion toward straight women who like androgynous/less masculine guys? What's up with that?

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

In some ways I miss my depression not being under control. I miss spending all day online, in fandom, or in fantasy. Real life often sucks. And it hasn't been long enough yet that the withdrawal has gone away. I miss it.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I spend a lot of time on work reading analysis about Brexit.

It's not related to what I do, and I'm not British.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I moved to a new town recently. After several months, I still haven't made a friend. Part of it is because I'm asocial af and am picky about the places I go and the interests I pursue. The other part is me fighting a mystery illness for half a year (one doc said it could be stress, but I think it's something I did to myself... sitting too damn much and not moving around). I've been better at fighting the illness in recent weeks but it's not completely gone and I don't trust it not to strike the moment I'm not on my guard. I just kind of hate how things have been going, plenty of false starts, screw-ups and misunderstandings. I came here hoping it would be a new beginning, but I feel like I can't get anything started. I'm sure this is part growing pains but it still sucks ass.

And now this fucking hurricane, of course...

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

If I got to life my live over again, I wouldn't get married. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much. I think divorcing would make me very unhappy, not to mention put us both in a precarious financial situation. But while he's my best friend in the whole world and I feel like I can talk to him about almost anything, he's still plagued by these shitty manchild issues. It's not malicious or spiteful, he's just oblivious to how much work I do around the house and how little work he does in comparison.

It's not just about dividing up chores, it's... really hard to explain. I'm female, I was raised and socialized to be helpful and considerate like it's second nature. I don't make a mess for other people or cause them inconvenience if I can help it, and if I do, I apologize and try to make amends. He doesn't. He's not even aware of the billion little things he does that makes my life just a fraction harder when it doesn't need to be. To him it's just that he forgot to put his dirty plate in the kitchen sink. To me, it's infuriating because *I* do all the cooking and 80% of the dish washing. He'll do it if he's got the day off or if he's not too busy playing computer games. I do it regardless of whether or not I'm tired, feeling sick, or if there's something else I'd rather be doing because that's how adulthood works, right?

He'll literally sit there and watch me work (because I'm so CUTE he HAS to watch me!) and not lift a goddamn finger to help because it doesn't occur to him to pitch in. He'll do it if I ask, but incompetently. Before you ask, no, I don't think it's on purpose. He just literally cannot look at a situation and figure out the most efficient way to do something, so he'll just half-ass it and be okay with that even if it means taking forever to do it or making a bigger mess. He'll make himself toast and leave crumbs all over the counter, even when we have an ant problem. I'll remind him to take a damp sponge and clean up after himself and he's like, "Oh yeah of course" but he'll forget. He always forgets. He's oh so agreeable when I remind him about stuff but it's in one ear and out the other. He loves me, so so much. But often, it feels like he doesn't really see me as a person. He's hurt and flabbergasted when I said I felt like his unpaid housekeeper. He cries. Then he does the dishes conscientiously and is suuuuuuuper considerate for 2-3 days and goes right back to his old ways. Did I mention that it took years to train him to shower regularly and brush his teeth? He always "didn't really need to" (bullshiiiiiiiit he stank) or "was too tired" (but not too tired to game for 2 hours before bedtime) and felt like personal hygiene was optional.

I shouldn't have gotten married right out of college. I should've developed my own career and independence first, THEN decided if I wanted to put up with that shit for the rest of my life. I admit, I'm a little bit of a control freak about some things. If a task is a chore, I want it done quickly and efficiently and I hate it when other people dawdle and make a mess out of things. I should live alone, in a small apartment, with a cat.

And frankly, age and experience and the world we live in has taught me to kinda hate men. Even the best of them are sort of... crappy? Emotionally stunted and raised by shitty mothers who never taught them to pull their own weight around the house, I guess? That's just bullshit. My advice to younger, single women - stay single unless you're really fucking sure. Not just in love, I mean absolutely sure you're marrying a mature adult who can take care of himself and doesn't need Mommy 2.0 to marry. And even then, work so you're financially independent and make yourself an escape plan, just in case.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

My sister lost her kids because she tested positive for pot. She has to take 5 weeks of parenting classes to get them back. At least that is what she said. Through a series of other fucked up, one of my nieces is in a group home and the other (who has some mental disability) is staying at a family friend's.

That niece caseworker wants to send her to be fostered by us. But my sister is across the country so it would be at least a thousand dollars to get her to us. And will it only be for a week? I honestly don't want to deal with that. I feel terrible about that but I don't think I can handle taking care of her. I have no kids of my own and never want any.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I think the heat is driving people crazy. The hotter it is, the ruder people are when they're driving. It should be cooler by now, but it's still super hot and humid.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Disclaimer: Obviously everyone has the right to identify and express themselves however they want.

However...I don't really "get" the whole non-binary gender thing. I know three people who identify this way. One of them is what I would've considered a butch lesbian (dresses sort of masculine), so I sort of get it in that case, but what's the difference between being non-binary and being butch?

One of the others is a girl who's super feminine, all about fashion/makeup, yet insists on being called "they" and claims to be non-binary, which confuses me. Like...how is being super ultra girly NOT part of the binary?

The other is a guy who wears eyeliner and nail polish, which guys typically don't, obviously. But he's into the whole goth/punk thing, and I feel like that's just part of that culture and not necesssarily "feminine". I grew up with a ton of other guys who have the exact same style but none of them consider themselves anything other than guys who are into the goth/punk scene.

So I'm kind of confused. I thought it was someone who wasn't particularly masculine or feminine, but somewhere in between, but two of the three people i know who identify that way don't really fit that definition.

I feel like I can't say this to anyone without getting yelled at for transphobic, and I'm genuinely not. Like I said, I fully support everyone's right to identify however they want, but...I don't really get it.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I really need to get out and meet people but I always have some excuse why I can't go to various events. Sometimes the excuse is real but often it's just that I'm scared. I can't handle another event where I'm the only person standing there by themselves because they don't know how to join a conversation. I'm afraid to go to queer events because I'm not "queer enough" and I end up feeling uncomfortable. I'm afraid to go just about anywhere because I'm not "normal" enough. I really need to get over this because being alone is also making me miserable but sometimes I feel like there isn't any point in trying.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I have no interest in dating anyone. I can't even imagine myself in a romantic relationship with someone without feeling strange.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Anilingus squicks me out hardcore even when dental dams or other barriers are used. I don't have a problem with other forms of buttsex, but I just haven't ever been able to get past my initial "ew why would you put your mouth there" reaction. For me, rimming is right up there with scat and watersports in terms of things that make me nope right the fuck out of a smutfic. A lot of my online friends find ass-eating to be really hot though, and while I fully support their right to do so, I do feel kind of alone in not liking it at all.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty sure I'm a lesbian, and I want to move away and travel but I'm super financially dependent on my boyfriend so... here I am, sticking it out until I have enough funds, I guess.

He's a nice guy and I feel like an asshole.