[ SECRET POST #1848 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1848 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 63 secrets from Secret Submission Post #264.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

10. http://i43.tinypic.com/juwghg.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Yep nothing more ~romantic~ than a guy who stalks you, cuts you off from your friends, sits in your bedroom watching you sleep for hours, doesn't tell you where your own honeymoon is, calls your child an abomination then barely speaks to you for months because you're pregnant with a kid he doesn't want, etc.

Seriously, it's almost as if Meyer deliberately wrote a man who is everything women should watch out for...abusive, cruel, systematically cutting her off from friends and family, treating her like trash as soon as she's pregnant (I'm ignoring the fact that the baby wasn't human, because that shit was seriously creepy in how realistic it was - I know men who have acted like that when their girlfriends get pregnant. I've heard them say those exact things to their girlfriends).

[(Anonymous)]

Those cliched uber-romantic gestures are exactly how a lot of assholes rope their victims in. Bringing you flowers does not make stalking okay.

[(Anonymous)]

YOU IN DANGER GURL

[(Anonymous)]

Speak for yourself. I never wanted any guy to write a song for me.

[unicornherds.livejournal.com]

I can totally see the romantic shit you're talking about, but part of my problem is that I've known plenty of abusive men and they were all super romantic and sweet, until they weren't. So I have a hard time ignoring all of the abuse and awfulness in those books just because there's some sweetness.

[green-glee.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're really stupid, aren't you? The protective shit you're talking about is EXACTLY the abusive/stalkerish shit everyone's talking about. You haven't understood the criticisms at all.

[childings.livejournal.com]

Really, from my experience, the kind of people who find this shit romantic tend to be people who have never been in that many relationships to begin with, at least not healthy ones

ALL THE MORE REASON WHY THEY SHOULDN'T BE READING THIS SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE

[(Anonymous)]

Actually I'd also admit that the idea of a boyfriend who can sometimes be jealous or overprotective is sort of romantic/alluring as well. (But I'm sure in real life it would get tiring really quickly.)

[shukivengeance.livejournal.com]

Well honestly, you're kinda proving the critics right by saying that the relationship is still romantic even though you're CLEARLY AWARE of the abuse angle. Sweet gestures do NOT change the fact that something is rotten and wrong on so many levels at the core.

[(Anonymous)]

my ex was abusive. he hit me practically every second night, then would bring me flowers and tell me he loves me every morning after. i was also cut off from my friends in a VERY similar way that bella was cut off from her's by edward (it was done so slowly, i didn't even notice it was happening until one of my friends asked why i don't hang around them much anymore!). i was also told that he would "love me forever"...which didn't mean "i will love you forever". it meant "you will be mine forever". (and the scary thing is, a part of it is true. it's years later and i'm still not completely over it).

romantic gestures don't mean shit when your boyfriend is an abusive ass. so no, i don't EVER want a man like edward, because i know the bad sides FAR outweigh the good. that, and i don't particularly want to be beaten and isolated for the rest of my life. i want a guy who will love me forever, and buy me flowers, and write songs for me...without the creepy stalker behavior, the beatings and the isolation.

[kikkyo.livejournal.com]

Tbh, it's kind of hard to get past all the stalkerish things to really enjoy the romance sometimes. But yeah, he does have moments. Idk if I'd find that very reassuring though.

[errantnarwhal.livejournal.com]

(http://s236.photobucket.com/albums/ff112/non_sum_lacerte/?action=view&current=dean.gif)

Look, I'm probably one of the few people here who actually likes Twilight (it's somewhat horrific, but it was still too entertaining for me to honestly say that I hate it) but...no.

[cloud-riven.livejournal.com]

But even the creepy over/undertones are technically romantic. Romance isn't just sappy hand-holding, romance is unrealistic and whack. It goes back to using ideals of ye olde chivalry, old fashioned gender roles, and whatever. So the books are technically romantic, yeah. But they're also skeevy and hilarious for it. It doesn't cancel each other out.

Also, your dream boyfriend sounds boring.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, hold on a sec there. Writing her a song = romantic. Writing her a lullaby like she's a baby = QU'EST-CE QUE S'EST THE FUCK. Trying to protect her = romantic. Watching her sleep and taking the engine out of her car = TIME FOR PEPPER SPRAY. If girls didn't take it so literally I'd say it wasn't a big deal because it's just a fantasy, but they really, really, really do, so.

[countess-k.livejournal.com]

"Protect her from dangers even if she might hate him for it"

There are so many problems with this statement I feel frustrated over what constitutes as romance amongst girls at these days.

And when did she hate him for it? As far as I remember she was always hung up on him even when he turned his back and left. She contemplated suicide and later put her life in peril again and again just to see his face in her head.

[kindlycoyote.livejournal.com]

Here's the issue; even if you might see the abusive stuff for what it is, I have heard girls WANT their 'Edwards' to be jealous, to watch them sleep, etc. They believe this is romantic, because the book doesn't differentiate. Also, there are a LOT of healthier romances that have the hero doing all that and more, minus the abuse. (Google the site Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Seriously, so much love for what they do. They will point you in the right direction of great romances!)

Also, as others have said, abusive assholes tend to use the typical romance shit as a way to rope the person in.

[tasogare-n-hime.livejournal.com]

The thing is you can not separate the romantic from the abusive they go hand in hand in real life just as much as they did in the book. Edward is clearly an abusive boyfriend/husband, and yet he is portrayed as if he is the ideal man. That's why the books are so disturbing.

[tidalcat19.livejournal.com]

Sweet Jesus, leave OP alone.

She finds the nice stuff romantic and finds the creepy stuff creepy. It doesn't mean she's mentally disturbed or been in a bad relationship or never been in a relationship at all.

Jeez, I knew as soon as I saw this secret was about Twilight, there would be tons of people saying "You think that's cute you are totes a pyscho".

What's even worse is that this comment will be passed over so people can agree with the people calling OP stupid.

[oflittlebrain.livejournal.com]

yeaaaah but it's not like doing cute things really mitigates the stalkery behavior you know? i'd be okay with it if meyer didn't gloss over it the way she does, but it really seems like ALL of edward's mannerisms, good or bad, are portrayed as wonderful and perfect. that's the problem.

[cherrycoloured.livejournal.com]

I agree that it's fine to read it as a fantasy. Some people don't, and that's a big issue, but I think if you recognize the bad stuff it's okay to still enjoy it even though, or more likely, because it's so unrealistic. That said, protecting her even if she hates it is just plain creepy. However, if you enjoy it in a book and don't think real life guys should do it, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

[dangerousdame.livejournal.com]

As long as you know certain things are terrible in real life, have fun with the fandom!

[(Anonymous)]

I always feel offended when guys think I need protection unless I specifically ask for it.

Do other girls... think it's romantic when guys get all up in your business without consulting you first?
And tbh I don't need someone to tell me they love me all the time; I believe you the first time you say it, but if you keep repeating it, it almost feels like you're trying to convince yourself.

I'm a capable person, don't treat me like I might break and shatter into million pieces. Treat me as an equal, please. Likewise don't treat me like shit if you're feeling insecure.

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

Hey, OP. I despise Twilight with every fiber of my being, genuinely think the books are problematic when they're marketed to young girls who haven't been taught the dangers of abusive behavior yet, and personally find all the 'romantic' stuff in it facepalmingly lame, but I'd just like to apologize for the disgustingly condescending, patronizing, and, yes, sexist assholes on this thread telling you that you're not allowed to like the things you like. That you must be some deluded pathetic girl who genuinely believes that this is a perfect ideal relationship instead of understanding that you just enjoy the OTT romantic fluff bits and are *gasp!* mature enough to compartmentalize and enjoy that romantic fluff without being convinced the problematic elements of the story are somehow romantic too.

IMO? Misogyny. People, (even women, sadly), tend to knee-jerk believe that girls don't have the perspective or soundness of mind to judge this stuff accurately. If a male OP was talking about how attracted he was to some dangerous but alluring insane bitch character in some male-oriented escapism, they'd all take it for granted that he knows she's a bitch and just thinks she's hot and the stuff she does is sexy. He wouldn't even need to put up a disclaimer saying that he understands the arguments for why people in the fandom hate the character. A male's mind is strong enough to not be contaminated by the impulses of his dick. But women? Noooooo, women are apparently all vacillating airheads whose poor feeble little minds can be twisted into that of a brainwashed cult member by the mere description of a sparkling muscular chest, and aren't allowed to enjoy the things that other people decide they shouldn't like.

Think about that: they're saying that you're not allowed to like what they've decided you shouldn't like. That's suffocating, double-binding, sexist cultural oppression 101. I am utterly disgusted. Fuck them, OP. Just fuck them and don't let them get to you. You're allowed to like ANYTHING you want. As long as you hold onto your perspective that it's just fun escapist fantasy, indulge your love for romantic mush all the fuck you want. Because you're obviously a mature and intelligent girl who gets the difference between harmless fantasy and hard reality, which should be the default assumption, but sadly isn't.

[(Anonymous)]

And that's okay.