[ SECRET POST #3473 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3473 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

Official advertise your fandom-related event thread.

RULES FOR THIS:
1. NO images bigger than 600x600 in either direction (banners, et cetera).
2. ONE POST PER USER under this thread.
3. What IS allowed: roleplay advertisements, fandom comms, fandom events, things like that.
4. What is NOT allowed: anything for profit, any kind of fic/art commissions, seeking 1-on-1 RP, that kind of thing.

[fscom]

Official clickables thread.

RULES FOR THIS:
1. NO huge images or columns of images that require scrolling, please.
2. ONE POST PER USER under in this thread.
3. If you're going to post, try to at least help the others.

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please post as 2nd comment so it collapses!)

relationship requirements

[(Anonymous)]

what are the minimum traits or standards that someone has to meet in order for them to be a viable relationship partner with you?

Re: relationship requirements

[aenrhien]

Depends. Is this strictly a sexual relationship, or is this person potentially a romance partner?

If purely sexual, they need a penis (real or rubber idc), have to wear a condom without complaining about it, and have to do better than I can do with my hands. I don't even have to like them as a person if they do a good enough job.

If it's a romantic endeavor, we have to share at least a couple common interests, and they have to be decent people, otherwise I couldn't care less about trying to relationship with them. May still bang them if they fit the criteria for sex though.

Re: relationship requirements

[(Anonymous)]

Obedient.

With that in the bag all the rest can be negotiated.

Re: relationship requirements

[(Anonymous)]

Likes me. Likes talking to me. Not totally selfish. Thoughtful (in the sense of, like, thinking about things) enough to have good conversations. And, you know, age range and all that stuff.

It's complicated, but:

[chardmonster]

The key is to be picky.

This is for two reasons. First, you deserve someone you're actually attracted to, not just someone you think will settle for you.

Second: assholes specifically go after people they don't think are picky. They want you to think you can't do better. That way you'll put up with anything.

Re: relationship requirements

[kallanda_lee]

Capable to have intelligent conversation, be attractive to me physically, have a certain level of hygiene and grooming standards. it helps having common interests and life views. Funny helps, too.

Re: relationship requirements

[case]

I have a pretty long list! I'll collapse it below.

Re: relationship requirements

[(Anonymous)]

They have to actually like me. Not be physically or verbally abusive. Have decent hygiene. None of the kind of people who support Donald Trump or various right-wing movements or use a lot of the terminology associated with those types (like "cuck" or any of the millions of misogynistic terms). For guys, they can't be the really macho, hyper-masculine type. No beards.

Re: relationship requirements

[(Anonymous)]

Looks: Don't think I have a type when it comes to this. I also find people can become more attractive as I get to know and like them, but I'm pretty sure there are some traits I'd find hard to get over, like an odd/annoying voice. I'm also not that fond of tons of tattoos and/or piercings. Basic hygiene is a must, don't care what he wears so much as the fact that he puts some effort in.

Personality: Must be able to hold his end of a (preferably interesting) conversation, at least long enough for dinner. Willing to (try to) see another person's POV. Kind. Shared interests would be nice, but as long as he has interests/passions/hobbies, I wouldn't mind hearing about those if he wouldn't mind hearing about mine (without judging!). And a sense of humor, meaning we can laugh at each others' jokes. That last one seems to be the trickiest one for some reason.

Re: relationship requirements

[a_potato]

Thoughtful, responsible, empathetic; complete, in the sense of being able to be happy on their own, and in not expecting that a relationship will fix their problems. Shares common interests. Can hold a good conversation.

And, you know, non-monogamous and profoundly lacking in jealousy.

Too far the other direction

[philstar22]

What are examples of things where something was bad, but the reactions went too far in the other direction?

!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Guys, I was googling my user name because I have a random uptick in kudos for an older fic. I still haven't figured out why that is but I did discover that another fic I wrote has been talked about on a message board. It looks like it was analyzed and the people have a lot to say. BUT, it's in Chinese! I'm not even sure what the board is or if it's a reputable site. I think they're saying positive things but Google Translate is not really being helpful. I'd love to know but I don't really want to give up my anonymity either.

I will say that Google Translate is hilarious about the names of the canon characters.

[(Anonymous)]

What are some telltale signs that an online fandom friend is rich? What about poor?

Talking about how they can't afford food this month or how they own five sports cars and don't get how people can't afford college are glaring facts, not subtle clues. I'm talking about the non-obvious things.

Wannabe Parody

[(Anonymous)]

Am I a terrible feminist for thinking the Wannabe Parody wasn't that... great?

I liked them showing different girls, and I LOVED the message. But it just wasn't that amazing, especially as you could literally miss the written messages with a blink of an eye, which I did at first because I blinked. I dunno, I just didn't find it as empowering as everyone else seems to.

Fandom Discussion

[(Anonymous)]

Change the thread title as appropriate and talk about your stuff!

What kind of high school did you go to?

[(Anonymous)]

public, private, how many fights did you see?

Controversial Opinion thread

[(Anonymous)]

Go at it

My parents have racist friends and it really bothers me

[(Anonymous)]

My parents are generally reasonable, fairly open-minded people. They themselves have never given me any reason to think that they're racist. But there are two couples they're friends with who are completely uneducated, ignorant hicks. One of them is Debbie and Paul, who love Donald Trump and think building a wall is a great idea. Debbie likes to constantly complain about how much she hates Obama, but when you ask her WHY she hates him, she can't give a single reason. Then there's Jane and Bob. They also think building a wall is a great idea, like to whine about Mexicans and gay people, and Bob describes himself as "Donald Trump's #1 supporter". They're also both generally inconsiderate, flaky people. I can't even count the amount of times my mom's bitched to me about how they were supposed to do something with Jane and Bob but they canceled at the last minute, or they were supposed to get back to her about some tentative plans they had and they just never responded. Bob also once told me that my mom told him I was a disappointment to my parents because I wasn't in school at the time (although I have a great job, live on my own and pay my own bills, it's not like my parents are supporting me or anything, while his kids are unemployed drug addicts and he and Jane pay all their bills). My mom claimed she never said that, but she didn't seem to have any issue with Bob telling me she did.

Last night I was having dinner with them, Donald Trump was on TV, and somehow the conversation led to Bob. I said that I just don't understand why they're friends with someone like him when they're not like that themselves. My dad got pissed and yelled that we'd had that conversation 100 times before and I shouldn't be saying it again (he and I HAVE had that discussion before, though obviously not quite 100 times). I said I was saying it again because I didn't understand, my brain just couldn't comprehend why they found that kind of behavior acceptable.

I said that if you're a Donald Trump supporter you're not a nice person. He said that the majority of Donald Trump supporters are just idiots who don't know any better and they only like him because they think he's going to make them rich, they don't like him because of the racism. Although in the case of their friends, I don't buy that excuse since they themselves have said racist things in the past. My dad went on to say that there are "degrees of racism" and that their friends are only slightly racist so it's not that bad. They're just uneducated, he said, they don't actually hate anyone or anything, they're still good people, and no one's perfect and my requirements for friends are too high and I just want them to agree with me 100%. "Not racist" is too high a standard to have for a friend? Really?

My mom said that "they were just raised that way" and that in their generation things were different, etc. I said that's no excuse, that eventually you have grow past how you were raised and think for yourself. She ended up saying that racists dislike people of other races, and that I dislike racists, so I'm no better than them. That REALLY upset me. I couldn't even articulate why she was wrong because I was so upset. They have this ridiculous "you have to tolerate everyone, even total bigots, otherwise you're just as bad as they are" mindset and it really pisses me off.

At various points she said how when she was young, her dad had a rule that you should never talk about politics or religion with anyone, and I said that that was what cowards say because those topics are important to talk about. But to me, this topic has nothing to do with politics. Racism and homophobia and sexism are not a matter of "politics" to me, they're just about BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING.

It just really bothers me, and makes me lose respect for my parents. Not only thinking that racism is acceptable, but that if you're against racists, you're "just as bad as them"...I just don't know what to do.

Has anyone been in a similar situation with parents/other family members? Any advice?

friend requirements

[(Anonymous)]

what are your requirements for friends

[(Anonymous)]

World's falling apart here

[fscom]

Games thread!

Book club August poll

[diet_poison]

August poll: http://www.easypolls.net/poll.html?p=5779881ce4b0235c6683dbc4

Closes Sunday!