[ SECRET POST #4041 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4041 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03. https://i.imgur.com/MPdttxe.png
[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; linked for illustrated? nudity / OP warned for NSFW]


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10. [repeat]


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11. [SPOILER for Stranger Things, season 2]



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12. [WARNING for discussion of sexual assault]



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13. [WARNING for discussion of sexual assault]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #578.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. [WARNING for discussion of sexual assault]
https://i.imgur.com/rtZiZot.png

[thewakokid]

Wooboy. I aint touching either of these. Whether I agree or disagree with you, there is no winning in this thread. I'm looking forward to seeing all the losing that gets done, tho. Should be fun!

[morieris]

I'm not surprised, the backlash had to start, and since this story wasn't about him being a violent rapist, everyone thinks it's okay that this happened and the backlash started with this.

It's like the anon in the other thread said, everyone's willing to kill rapists (and rightfully so), but no one's willing to fix underlying problems of coercion or the culture we live in where (not necessarily in this instance, I admit) women go along and do things they may not like because they fear someone might get violent with them if they resist.

[(Anonymous)]

because they fear someone might get violent with them if they resist

I don't think that was an issue in this case.

I'm genuinely puzzled as to why "Grace" went along with it tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

the Aziz Ansari discourse lasted so fucking long and was so exhausting and has so many fucking angles, and I'm really loath to bring it up again

that said: I think you can think that nothing Ansari did was criminal and that it's questionable whether "sexual assault" is the right term, and also that the coverage of the account was flawed at times, while also thinking that there was something morally faulty about his reported conduct, a massive failure of communication which was his responsibility and that is indicative of a broader, more common problem in the way that we relate to each other along gender lines. And, in fact, that was pretty representative of most of the discussions I saw.

[(Anonymous)]

Wait, why was it his responsibility?

[(Anonymous)]

"milk the experience for all the #metoo points she can" christ okay

not going to engage with whatever the fuck that is, but it's worth noting that the website sought her out and has been widely criticized for how they chose to publish her anonymous account.

[(Anonymous)]

this is also a good point

[(Anonymous)]

It was a shitty write up for sure, but did this publication force her to tell them her story? Did they get that cringey quote about the wine from her by gunpoint or something?

[feotakahari]

http://reductress.com/post/i-anonymously-reported-my-rape-for-the-anonymous-attention/

[morieris]

The Aziz Ansari case hit a nerve because, as I've long feared, we're only comfortable with movements like #MeToo so long as the men in question are absolute monsters we can easily separate from the pack. Once we move past the "few bad apples" argument and start to suspect that this is more a trend than a blip, our instinct is to normalize. To insist that this is is just how men are, and how sex is.

http://theweek.com/articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly, it's a bit scary that anyone who had a bad date with somebody famous can turn around years after the fact and call it assault.

I think that's the issue with how the entire thing has been handled. While in most cases it's absolutely justified, the whole culture of guilty until proven innocent is especially dangerous in these cases, just as it was with the Everybody From Kid's TV From The 80's In Britain is Suddenly a Pedophile thing.

Quite a few innocent people got accused of it by people bandwagoning, only for those people to drop the charges later and admit to having lied.

[(Anonymous)]

Who in this case lied?

[(Anonymous)]

I'd consider constant coercion to do something sexual and ignoring boundaries a bad date, yes.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

No charges and no legal complaint have been filed.

This one isn't simple.

[(Anonymous)]

I think most people agree that rape and sexual assault are bad. Most will even agree that sustained or egregious sexual harassment is bad. But after that point, everyone is all over the map with what constitutes wrongdoing and how bad any wrongdoing is. Pressuring is not cool, but when does it turn from persuasion to pressure? Coercion is bad, but when does urging become coercion? Can someone always tell when someone else is intimidated or feels threatened? Some people are terrible at non-verbal communication (hell, a lot are terrible at verbal communication), but does that let them off the hook? There are a lot of good conversations that could come out of this, but I don't think they will. Too many people are too intent on a right-and-wrong, black-and-white narrative here, when really this is where there needs to be discussion and clarification.

Re: This one isn't simple.

[(Anonymous)]

Considering some people think if one part of a couple has sex when they don't really feel like it but their partner does is rape, this really isn't that surprising.

[(Anonymous)]

I just can't believe I'm apparently the only woman in the world who finds it really bizarre that a woman would endure unwanted advances for 30+ minutes when she could remove herself from the situation.

JFC, stop being a victim and exercise some fucking agency.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a woman and I agree with you totally.

This story has smelled rotten to me since it broke.

Does it sound like he's perhaps a greedy, self-absorbed bastard in the bedroom? Yes. Does it sound like he's a predator to me? No.

[soldatsasha]

Nah I've seen a lot of women who think it's really bizarre. i read the story, and while I'm not a woman I've been sexually assaulted and raped several times. At no point did the story cross over into what I what I would consider either, bc she literally at any point could have called the encounter off, told him she didn't like x thing, etc. but she didn't. And when she did speak up and tell him to slow things down, he did.

I mean her complaint is basically "he was pushy and inconsiderate (that's a fair complaint, but that doesn't make it assault) and he didn't read my mind."

[(Anonymous)]

"Stop being a victim"

Ah, yes, because me going along with the rape I suffered through because I said yes when the guy twice my size had gotten violent with me before and I was legitimately afraid because he was in just the right mood where he could either walk away or throttle me means I was just being a victim.

Fuck you. Except no, because you're too vile to deserve anything but complete loneliness.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi. Actual rape victim here.

Shut the fuck up, you raging sexist asshole. You sound like every man who told me I deserved it because I went along with it because the guy who raped me had a violent temper. So I said yes because I was legitmately afraid for me life, and it has since made me afraid to communicate with men because everyone thought he was Just So Nice Except Those Few Times You Deserve His Anger.

Deal with it.

[(Anonymous)]

I think some of us have been less willing to get on Aziz for acting like an ass, because we've said stupid things in a dating situation. Some of us who are a little older have been in both of their positions, if that makes sense.

[supermanda]

All I have to say is, this story could have been handled a lot better than whatever it was babe.net attempted.

[(Anonymous)]

So much victim blaming in thread, people implying "Bitch shouldn't have gone to his house, she knew what she was getting into, why didn't she leave?" unpleasantness in this thread. Probably because of lots of clueless dudes here who have had the same experience with a woman, but don't want to admit it (it's always, always easier to blame 'the slut') It also disturbs me, but it's completely unsurprising how women throw Grace under the bus because "she wasn't raped like I was! Just say no!" It's sadly unsurprising how women like Grace are scorned because we're conditioned to validate men's needs and excuse them, let them get away with everything, all that matters is them getting pussy, no matter how it happens. We're conditioned to blame women for being 'slutty' and 'a bitch' if she's giving 'mixed signals' even after stories upon stories of women saying No, then immediately getting raped, beaten, killed or shunned by guys who were so nice, the nicest guys ever. You can never know until you've been in that situation. I have been in that situation where I liked him, didn't want to go all the way right away but eventually did the first night because he was so persistent (and I thought he would hate me or say bad things about me if I didn't), and felt horrible afterward. And I have also been yes, actually and legally Raped. The former is not a white and black situation and going "stop whining and pull up your big girl panties" while ignoring men pressuring women, saying 'eh boys will be boys he was an asshole but whatever' and excusing them is just depressing.

Men are conditioned to get off no matter what, women are conditioned to not 'rock the boat' and just give in already, do it so he likes you, he's a good guy so when you say "We're going a little fast" maybe that means he will slow down (but then it gets to the point where he's pulling off your clothes, like with Grace.) Maybe Grace stayed because she thought, him being Woke, he would cut that shit out after his first attempt. And the 'well she's an adult and she blew him, so what's the problem?" mentality disturbs me. Does blowjob = automatic green light to stick it in her vag? It's just sad how many men are out there who only care about their orgasms, to the point where they'll ignore a woman looking nervous, pushing his hand away when he puts it on her dick multiple times, and generally ignoring all her nonverbal cues that maybe, just MAYBE, she wants to just make out or only wants him to eat her out, but not PIV. And people not seeing anything wrong with him practically chasing her around her apartment, people not saying "Uh why didn't he tell her he wanted PIV sex, if she didn't there's the door?" after multiple signals, is just... very wearying.

Idk what it is about guys who get off on humping unresponsive or nervous-looking women (oh wait, I do know, it's porn), but there's something deeply wrong with society and it won't get fixed until men start looking at women as actual people.