[ SECRET POST #2446 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2446 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]




















04. [WARNING for gore, blood, etc]

[How To Train Your Dragon]


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05. [WARNING for child abuse]



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06. [WARNING for rape]



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07. [WARNING for rape]



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08. [WARNING for torture]

[Fall Out Boy's "The Phoenix"]


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09. [WARNING for underage]

[pokemon conquest]


















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i.imgur.com/UaJ5gb9.png

[(Anonymous)]

Awww, you are learning that the real world isn't nice and won't cater to your delusional idea of "safe spaces". And that Tumblr and fandom is a stupid thing to base real world expectations on. ;_; You are growing up!

[(Anonymous)]

Been saying that for years. All those trigger warnings and brow-beating others to be "nice" and "gentle" only sets back any recovery. The world is a harsh place and instead of sanitizing things, us survivors need to be rebuilt not sheltered.

[mekkio]

You make it sound like you were in a cult and you escaped. Welcome back, anyhow.

[rocketgirl]

Not disagreeing that it's good to have a thick skin and learn to deal with all the shit people have to put up with, but it is nice to have places where you don't have to worry about that kind of thing.

[electromouse]

See, the thing about fandom safe spaces is that it's like a black hole that sucks you in. And then it's really hard to get out, IF you manage to get out.

[(Anonymous)]

it sounds to me, you're working with the wrong people.

The problem isn't that there is a place where you can be safe from offensive assholes, the problem is that there are places that do have these assholes, and everyone just say's "That's just the way the world is"

Fandom safe spaces have trained me in how to react to these assholes. Because these offenses are offensive. these 'innocent' ignorant comments are not innocent and should be combated. You should react to these things the same way IRL that you would react to them in fandom.

the fact that people don't is where the problem lies.

[feotakahari]

I think the relevant term here is "systematic desensitization." If you're someone who can't interact with the outside world, a "safe space" allows you an avenue of retreat during your first attempts to go outside. But you need to keep trying to go outside, slowly and surely armoring yourself against the pain, and anyone who wants you to stay inside forever is an enabler.

[(Anonymous)]

IKR? I look at that bullshit and wonder how the hell they function in life.

[(Anonymous)]

Tro-lo-lol...

That's some free desensitization for you.

Can we just agree that both sides have valid points?

[elephantinegrace]

The world doesn't give two whale boners about what limitations you have, only what you do despite them. Likewise, vigilance is exhausting and it's nice to retreat to a safe space when you're tired and want to relax.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not quite this bad, but sometimes someone I love/respect will say something offensive and I'm just totally shocked. I'm so used to being in spaces where homophobes/sexists/racists etc. are ripped apart, that I always have this moment of utter shock when someone who is otherwise decent will say something completely ignorant that I kind of didn't realise people still actually say and I just stare at them, speechless.

And it's definitely because of the internet, because I used to say the same bigoted, fucked-up shit before I got immersed in circles that discussed feminism, sexuality and race.

[(Anonymous)]

I wobble back and forth on the issue of "safe space" and trigger warnings a lot. Because, like a lot of people noted, the world is filled with bad people who aren't going to flash "trigger warning!" before they say something (I sometimes wonder how these people who are so easily triggered even watch the source material). On the flip side, I understand being tired at the end of the day, and wanting to go home and not deal with it anymore. And to make the world a better place, so that racism/sexism/et ceteraism isn't so prevalent. But, it also seems, to me, that there's an increasing number of people who aren't out there in the world - who don't have out-of-the-house jobs or go to school - so the minute someone tells a sexist joke, they completely fall apart or fly off in a rage.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel this way a lot about a "safe space" I frequent. But really, it's not a very safe space at all, it's just a preachy place for a few that pretends to be safe for all, so it's a little less jarring for me.

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck you, no. Racism and misogyny aren't the "real world", they're bullshit that's been normalized. It is ALWAYS okay to be angry about that and want to avoid it.

Secret 3 - Fandom safe spaces

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is a reinforced closet-sized box inside a room? It has a door and the inside walls look sturdy.]

It took me far too long to see that fandom "safe spaces" are bad for me. I spent a year immersed in fandoms where everything was sterilized and having just gotten a job I'm finding the littlest "offenses" and innocent ignorant remarks are starting to shock me to hear. It's become HARDER for me to adjust to real life. I want to shake people I used to know in these hugboxes and tell them the longer they stay the harder it will be but I feel like they would scream at me if I tried.

[ariakas]

I'm no expert on the subject, but hasn't it been shown by psychological studies that exposure to a trigger helps people overcome it and avoiding a trigger only prolongs it?

[(Anonymous)]

Yep.
"Safe spaces" can seem wonderful from the inside, but the world is not a safe space and anyone used to those "safe space" will have a hard time facing it.

[darkmanifest]

Everything in frigging moderation. The way I see it, the problem isn't safe spaces as a concept, it's when people do what you did and "immerse" themselves in nothing but safe spaces for too long. Yeah, most of the time you have no choice but to deal with a world where pretty much nobody cares what you feel, but there's a time of day when I come home, lock the front door, and nobody's allowed to fuck with me until I go out again the next morning; the privilege of a safe space. If I never went out again for a long enough time, yeah, I'd lose the ability to handle shit. But if I had no home and was exposed 24/7 to everyone else's fuckery? I'd end up just as dysfunctional.

So, safe spaces are fine, so long as you don't A) try to wallow in them all the time, or B) expect the whole rest of the world to become just like your happy place.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for this secret OP, this is exactly what I've been predicting was going to happen to people. And I hope you find your way back to a happy medium as quickly and painlessly as possible.

It's one thing to want a break from the real world sometimes, but quite another to retreat from it so completely as to forget what it's really like out there or expect it to conform to one's expectations upon emerging. It just doesn't work that way and it never will.

[(Anonymous)]

This viewpoint is right and also wrong. It's very true that parts of the world are not informed about things like "trigger warnings" and the latest fights in social justice. And it is ridiculous to assume the average person will know about those things. However, the world is constantly changing and it's just as absurd to assume that things will stay the same forever.

For instance, the common populace's view on gay marriage has changed throughout the decades. More and more people are becoming aware and accepting of gay marriage because of positive exposure to the LGBT community. Likewise, a hundred years ago women didn't have the right to vote or get abortions. However, as more decades go by, these laws are changing and women are getting more equal rights. The Equal Rights Amendment was reintroduced to be voted on as well. There are children's books being put out there that teach little kids morals about accepting everyone for who they are. As more of this content gets produced for newer generations about the value of accepting others, the more our world is going to keep changing.

Likewise, it's just as naive to think every workplace or setting is just going to accept someone acting obnoxious and prejudiced. There are plenty of organizations out there that enforce equal treatment, and you can even get fired for making a joke that might be offensive to someone else in certain places.

Part of growing up is learning to pick your battles. It's not about giving up completely because "that's just how the world is". That's the mind of a moody teenager, not an adult. Being a grown up means knowing what causes need attention and need to be debated as well as what needs to be let go and forgotten about. Like will scolding grampa about "being gypped" be worth it at Thanksgiving? Probably not. But is supporting racial and ethnic diversity in the workforce something we should all strive for? I would hope so.

[(Anonymous)]

What in the hell is that room actually for?

[(Anonymous)]

What the eff is a "safe space?" I've never heard of such a thing. God knows I abandon a place as soon as the folks in it start to get whiny and bitch about how people should be gentler (at least that's part of what I'm gathering from other comments), so maybe I just haven't ever stuck around long enough, but the idea is unknown to me.

[dentedsky]

Yes exactly, well said.

[arcadiaego]

The whole point of a safe space is that it's a space not allowed by the majority of the general public. It's not to shut yourself off from the fact that most people don't give a shit, it's to make it bearable.